Mirror21 wrote:
I would like some feedback on the word flow.
Surgical Cruelty with no anesthetics
I have survived the flames so many times
Words that turn to frowns and leave me scarred
I wonder if I could find a way to hide them all
i'm no poet, but here is my suggestion, per your request, submitted for your approval- changes in
boldsurgical cruelty with no anesthetics
i survived the
knives so many times
words that turn to frowns and leave me
with scarsi wonder,
could i find a way to hide them all
?Mirror21 wrote:
Precision is the name of the game
And I am too tired to play
But the chips are on the table
Throw your cards, my hands are empty
Precision is the name of the game
But I am too tired to play
Still the chips are on the table
Throw
down your cards, my
hand is empty
i just nibbled 'round the edges. hope that is ok with you