How could I make the following action sequence better?
Quote:
“That’s a start.” Seeing a bus, she, dragging Simeon, ran to it,and got on. Worried, Simeon held on to his seat for dear life, and looked in awe at the scenary as it whizzed by at lightening pace.
“Relax, it’s like riding a stagecoach with horses, only faster.”
“What magic powers this?”
“A different kind than what we’re used to.”
Brita hoped that like Simeon, the would be assasins traveled only on foot, and did not know the whereabouts of the her brother had used. Just as she allowed herself to relax only a little, one of them appeared, a muscular women in a black outfit, with a cross bow pointed at Brita.
“Come with us, quietly and no one gets hurt.”
Brita noticed passengers screaming, or using their phones to call for help.
“Put your weapons down” Brita pointed her gun, which she had in her pocket ,at the assassin with a crossbow.
“You are threatening me with a toy cannon.”
“This is no toy. Surrender to me and I, as queen will allow you to carry out a life sentence instead of the legally prescribed penalty of death for attempting to kill a member of the royal family.”
“My arrow will reach your skull long before your toy can do anything to me.” The assassin’s cold brown eyes looked at Brita with contempt.
At that moment, the bus made a sudden stop, causing the assassin to lose her footing and fall on the ground. Thinking fast, Brita took the cross bow from the assassin, and tried to restrain her, but she fought back, forcing Brita to shoot her in the head, which ensued in more screaming from the passengers. At that moment, uniformed members of the authorities came into the bus, saw the unconscious body of the assassin, and arrested Brita, while telling her she had the right to an attorney and to keep quiet.
“She was trying to Kill me , officer.” Brita protested as they lead her off the bus. She told Simeon, talk to Adele, and wait for me portal as long as you can.
17 Mar 2013, 2:09 pm
