Question regarding motive in stories

Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ] 

DeeLerious184
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 165
Location: The Potatoe Kingdom

17 Mar 2013, 12:08 am

I have this idea for a short story or novel, but do not know if there is enough motive in it. Here is the idea: . Two witches from a magical world go to Miami to find a rogue witch( they enforce the rules and decisions of the witch council) the rogue witch stole some powerful crystals, which can heal but are addictive as they give the user a sense of well beingz. So the rogue witch starts a cult . ( I am kinda going for a heart of darkness vibe)
:



redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

17 Mar 2013, 12:13 am

So what's the question?



DeeLerious184
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 165
Location: The Potatoe Kingdom

17 Mar 2013, 12:21 am

redrobin62 wrote:
So what's the question?


Is it enough motive for the two witches ? Will people care about what happens next?



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,952
Location:      

17 Mar 2013, 12:23 am

Two cops chase a rogue who stole some U4EA crystals and started a cult ... now, where have I read that before ... ?



redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

17 Mar 2013, 12:25 am

What are the two witches supposed to do - kill the rogue witch? Bring her back to their coven? Stop her from developing a powerful crystal cult?



DeeLerious184
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 165
Location: The Potatoe Kingdom

17 Mar 2013, 12:25 am

Fnord wrote:
Two cops chase a rogue who stole some U4EA crystals and started a cult ... now, where have I read that before ... ?


Has that idea been used? Starting a cult using crystals?



DeeLerious184
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 165
Location: The Potatoe Kingdom

17 Mar 2013, 12:27 am

redrobin62 wrote:
What are the two witches supposed to do - kill the rogue witch? Bring her back to their coven? Stop her from developing a powerful crystal cult?


They are supposed to apprehend her( they are enforcer witches) bring her to the Witch"s counsel for trial and return the Crystal to an order of sorceresses.



redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

17 Mar 2013, 12:40 am

You have some good ideas here, not to mention several endings. Do the two enforcer witches successful capture and bring the rogue witch back to a trial? Do they fail in apprehending her and she goes on to develop her cult? Do they bring her to trial and the trial goes in her favor? Does she fail to convince the other witches her idea was best and necessary for the non-witch mankind?



DeeLerious184
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 165
Location: The Potatoe Kingdom

17 Mar 2013, 12:45 am

redrobin62 wrote:
You have some good ideas here, not to mention several endings. Do the two enforcer witches successful capture and bring the rogue witch back to a trial? Do they fail in apprehending her and she goes on to develop her cult? Do they bring her to trial and the trial goes in her favor? Does she fail to convince the other witches her idea was best and necessary for the non-witch mankind?


Thx! I was thinking of modeling the end kind of like Heart of darkness, or having the rogue witch turn the enforcer witches into cats or some other animal. ( the second would fit more in a short story.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,952
Location:      

17 Mar 2013, 12:46 am

DeeLerious184 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Two cops chase a rogue who stole some U4EA crystals and started a cult ... now, where have I read that before ... ?
Has that idea been used? Starting a cult using crystals?

Crystals, experimental combat drugs, mind-control implants, brain-dwelling parasites ... it's been done and redone many times.

Stargate: SG1 had an episode (#3.2) in which a Gua'uld named Seth (or Setesh) used a synthetic pheromone called nish'ta to keep himself as the leader of a series of cults for thousands of years.


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


DeeLerious184
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 165
Location: The Potatoe Kingdom

17 Mar 2013, 12:49 am

Fnord wrote:
DeeLerious184 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Two cops chase a rogue who stole some U4EA crystals and started a cult ... now, where have I read that before ... ?
Has that idea been used? Starting a cult using crystals?

Crystals, experimental combat drugs, mind-control implants, brain-dwelling parasites ... it's been done and redone many times.

Stargate: SG1 had an episode (#3.2) in which a Gua'uld named Seth (or Setesh) used a synthetic pheromone called nish'ta to keep himself as the leader of a series of cults for thousands of years.


Hmmm I could have rogue witch use a talking cat, who is in reality, a fellow rogue witch who pretends to be the avatar of a made up goddess



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,952
Location:      

17 Mar 2013, 12:55 am

DeeLerious184 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
DeeLerious184 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Two cops chase a rogue who stole some U4EA crystals and started a cult ... now, where have I read that before ... ?
Has that idea been used? Starting a cult using crystals?
Crystals, experimental combat drugs, mind-control implants, brain-dwelling parasites ... it's been done and redone many times. Stargate: SG1 had an episode (#3.2) in which a Gua'uld named Seth (or Setesh) used a synthetic pheromone called nish'ta to keep himself as the leader of a series of cults for thousands of years.
Hmmm I could have rogue witch use a talking cat, who is in reality, a fellow rogue witch who pretends to be the avatar of a made up goddess

The Sabrina TV series had the main character "own" a cat that was actually a shape-shifted rogue warlock serving out a community service sentence. She lived with her two aunts as her guardians, and they were always getting her out of jams that she'd put herself into.


_________________
The mere fact that science may not yet adequately explain an object, event, or experience does not mean the immediate explanation should automatically default to a conspiratorial, extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural cause.


redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

17 Mar 2013, 1:03 am

If your ending is for the rogue witch to triumph and change the enforcers into cats, that's good. At least you have an ending. Now all you have to do is write your story that goes towards that ending. As you know, stories are written backwards. You know what the ending is and build towards that, hopefully keeping the reader in suspense so they're not sure where you're headed. Good luck!



jagatai
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,475
Location: Los Angeles

17 Mar 2013, 6:49 am

It sounds like the witches are just doing a job in getting the rogue witch back. What's their motivation? A paycheck?

The more personal and dire the motivations are, the more we are likely to care about the outcomes. Are they doing this for love? Or for the safety and well being of their world? What do they stand to lose if they fail?

Also the rogue witch should keep raising the stakes. She must also have a motivation that gets stronger and more focused as the story progresses.


_________________
Never let the weeds get higher than the garden,
Always keep a sapphire in your mind.
(Tom Waits "Get Behind the Mule")


DeeLerious184
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 165
Location: The Potatoe Kingdom

17 Mar 2013, 10:09 am

Thx! I will need to make a few changes. May the mission to get the crystals should me more important not getting them back could have dire consequences



fueledbycoffee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 566
Location: Baltimore

17 Mar 2013, 11:32 am

Also, some new drug that only provides a sense of well being would not likely be enough to start a cult in Miami, of all places.