Poem: running with the devil

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I had to run with my devil
to know how to know god.
The confusion it broke me
but now I know love.
There isn’t a battle
we can just take our pick.
Good versus evil,
is it a media trick?
They feed you the stories
that make you afraid.
They convince you you’re crazy
if you don’t play the game.
They strip all the feelings
from your cold, lonely heart.
They fill up your head
until you are numb.
You’ll choose the devil
if it’s in your face,
and if the world you live in
is a terrible place.
I make my own hours,
my days have no names.
It’s my life, I’ll live it,
then I’ll go away.
I can’t understand
why people they choose,
to live their own lives
like they want to be used.

Come on, kid, this is your dream.

Everything is going to be alright. It’s just a jester’s race now. Don’t be afraid of the light. Bow out. It’s a three-ringed circus and wolves don’t perform in the circus. Is it everything I like? Is there a way out of the mind? Calculated, she broke my heart. Unconditional love and betrayal. You are loved. Give up the reigns. Let it be. I gave my best to the wrong people. I wanted to be your friend. Let’s keep it a secret until the truth comes out. Don’t look if you don’t want to see. Keep going. I miss my mind. Burgundy and gray. Time waits for no man. I’ll never light myself on fire again. Burning the candle on both ends. You’re a seeker. Legalize life. Legalize choice. Don’t forget the memories. The crow that follows me. Sun Moon Lake. The reds and blues of the lights on the patio. Try to take my innocence, kicking and screaming. Late bloomer. Not everyone has my heart. Sad as f**k, I miss you mom. You were the only person that I could be myself around. You loved me, unconditionally.

stare at the screams
in the eyes of a madman
the pain and confusion
the lack of hope that he bears
wrinkled, tense, twitchy-eyed fellow
imagine the places he’s been
then try to ask him what he knows of sin

he plays with his pockets
to keep himself still
and despite all the horror
can still smile at will
he talks to himself
now staring at the ground
muttering
under his breath
barely making a sound

and over and over he says
“The color of the city has a pretty voice.
It always seems to stop when the sun comes up.”

Forever, right now.

I don’t need to know if I can lie with you tonight. I just want to know that you’re near. So I can be with you in my mind. And I don’t have to sit here alone and waiting for you. No, I don’t have to sit here alone.

I don’t need to know if I can lie with you tonight. I just want to know that you’re near. So I can be with you in my mind. And I don’t have to sit here alone and waiting for you. No, I don’t have to sit here alone.

It all would be okay if you never knew my name. It all would be the same if you never knew my name. But I want you to know that you’re here with me inside my mind. It’s the warmest place I can find.

And I want you to be because then you’ll know how. And I want you to see because then you’ll know how. How I wish I could be yours forever right now.

Peace Through Addiction

Legalize euphoria.
Peace through addiction.
Warm-hearted hugs
Left in the memory,
A reminder
Of what could have been.
Remember to forget
All that has happened.
All the fear;
The fear that took me
Out of the moment.
Stop being afraid.
Live for today.
In the almost
never-ending rain.
Get up,
Again and again,
And remain
More or less the same.
But a little better each day.

Sorry

One thing that I know
Is I don’t have what it takes
And one thing that I feel
You don’t know what is real
All I want to do is go home
But I don’t know where that is
Another thing that I know
Home is not the place this is

I don’t ever want to be away from you
But I know that I will
And I don’t ever want to be away from you
But I will again and I’m very sorry

So I sit in silence
And no one can see my pain
I don’t want to have to explain my silence
I just want to fade away

And I don’t ever want to be away from you
But I know that I will
I don’t ever want to be away from you
But I will again and I’m very sorry

Against All Monsters

C’mon kid,
This is your dream.
They’ve been watching me.
Spirit boy.
Quiet and aware.
Things have changed
But I’m still the same
Love
Lost
Pain
Old soul
Young at heart.
Quiet and afraid
Be brave
They see what I see
Do they know who I’ll be
Moon child
I can’t fly
Scared of heights
Scared to die
Good and evil
Against all monsters

I know, that I know, that life is going to take me where I want to go. So I go, and I go, and I leave behind the ones that I’ll always love. ‘Cause I know, that I know, that life is going to take me where I want to go. So I go, ‘cause I know, that ain’t here with you, and I’m sorry.

*need to create

I never developed any talents. When I was growing up, art was something you were supposed to grow out of by the time you got to high school, let alone university. Times were different then than they are now.