Why are women on dating sites such hippocrites

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BlackBull
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11 Jan 2008, 3:12 am

Topher wrote:
MikeInVa wrote:
That's nice to hear Topher,perhaps I should sign up after all & see what happens.

Just be careful & don't get your hopes up onlt to have them dashed as people on the net aren't always who they claim to be.


I know what you mean, I almost got suckered into a dating scam once, however thanks to my latent paranoia and a topic i posted on here i avoided it. This girl seems special, she noted i responded to every point in her profile and she answered every question I asked as well as asked some of her own :)


A fortunate turn of luck, Topher. Good job bro.

I, personally dont dig the whole Internet Dating scene. And there's an explanation as to why you never got responses back from many of those women:

As you've said Topher, you told them about yourself, commonalities, interests, etc...

...there's about 100-300 other guys who've responded saying the same stuff.

Do you think those women have time to read and respond to 300 messages?

...Aha! lol.

Try something different: When replying, exaggerate a little. Inject some humor, maybe tease her on her picture pose, or make a comment on how she's sooo cool for having a load of secret admiriers messaging her, and show her you're different. Believe me, you do that, you're inbox will be flash flooded! xD.

Of course, beware the internet dating thing. You never truly know who you're going to meet.

Good luck with the one who responded dude. Wish you luck.



Topher
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11 Jan 2008, 11:43 am

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Heya =)

Your welcome. Thank you for your e-mail. It was a brilliant read and I was really happy to get it. =) I went back through it a few times as I really liked it. =)

Your course definitely seems appropriate, especially with what our country is going through. Although if all that talk about Global Warming is true people like you will needed a lot. Are you learning to drive at all? My test is in 2 weeks, although I've been out in a Land Rover and Off Roading has it's perks to say the least =) But I may just stick to road cars.

Where in Bristol is your course based? Are you at Bristol University, or UWE at all? I was planning to go there myself but they messed up my application. Otherwise I would be doing a degree in Motorsport Engineering. =P

Apart from studying i play Darts for fun. I have tried clay pigeon shooting and they say im accurate so I shall keep working on that. I write a lot of fan-fiction, i saw the X-Men films and i thought they rocked. I normally go out a couple of times a week down the local pub to socialize and relax, either that or i stick some music on and just surf the web. or im playing video games, something like Command and Conquer or Elder Scrolls. I try to make life interesting but I get by without having to worry. =)

I tend to go into my own world a lot, so I have an active imagination, I find it makes a good distraction form the pressures of life. Hence why I love randomness since I think a lot of random stuff up. Not many people tend to understand how my mind works =)

I have heard so much about Apocalyptica but I've only heard bits and pieces of them. People say they are awesome so I should grab some songs. Could you recommend any good songs of theirs I could have a listen too? =) The same with Creed. I hear they are an awesome band.

60/70 is very impressive! Thats awesome! How long have you been going to gigs for? =D Are there any good gigs which stand out especially? Do you go to see specific bands or do you just go for any which you like? =) Have you seen a lot of the country? It certainly seems worth the money, once i locate a place which has gig dates I will have to try and go to one, I was thinking of going to that KoRn one on the 23rd but my guess but im not sure.

Brown is a lovely colour, =) mine was a light shade of brown but after using some temporary black dye it's now a dark brown all the time. =P I was tempted to dye it green just to be random. Have you ever wanted to dye your hair?

I know how you feel about work, I've got one assignment to get on with, I have had exams, although that means worrying about results. I hope you don't have too many to worry about. =) Good luck in them too, I hope you do well. =)

Thank you a lot for replying to my message again. It was wonderful to hear from you, I hope once you get time away from your studies you may reply again. I hope my reply was not too long. It meant to lot to hear from you. =)

Hope to hear from you, all the best.


Well this is my reply. Do you think i did everything correctly? I tried to reply to everything she said and asked a few more questions.



BlackBull
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11 Jan 2008, 12:53 pm

Looked good bro. She seems interested, and is one of those who's actually looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with.

Now, dont tell her things on the internet right away. Find a place to meet up (Coffee shop man. Trust me. No restrauants. Saves money, and neither of you need to get dressed up and put on you're best behavior. At the coffee shop, you two can be totally relaxed and have a fun convo, and coffee's only 3$. Everyone wins)

When you two meet up in person, talk about what was said in the message. In person, this works 100x better, because you'd be able to show body language, and get your messages across much faster.

Tell me how it goes Topher. Look forward to hearing the outcome.



Topher
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11 Jan 2008, 12:58 pm

BlackBull wrote:
Looked good bro. She seems interested, and is one of those who's actually looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with.

Now, dont tell her things on the internet right away. Find a place to meet up (Coffee shop man. Trust me. No restrauants. Saves money, and neither of you need to get dressed up and put on you're best behavior. At the coffee shop, you two can be totally relaxed and have a fun convo, and coffee's only 3$. Everyone wins)

When you two meet up in person, talk about what was said in the message. In person, this works 100x better, because you'd be able to show body language, and get your messages across much faster.

Tell me how it goes Topher. Look forward to hearing the outcome.


I will keep you guys posted and I hope you guys can help me plan this through correctly. :) I will post her response once it arrives. Im not going to get upset if she does not reply, and given how busy she is I shan't expect it for a few days :)



Topher
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11 Jan 2008, 1:28 pm

I just logged back on just to browse plentyoffish, and I've noticed she is online. Should i instant message her or would that just give her the impression im stalking her and trying to put pressure on her? Im feeling very indecisive at the moment.



BlackBull
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11 Jan 2008, 2:58 pm

Ask her to go for coffee. Say "Let's meet up at (Insert coffee shop) at (3PM) and get to know each other better". (Verbatim)

-Dont say "Can you meet me/Could you/Would you like to. That gives her power, and she will say no, even if she wants to go (Women stuff Topher. We men will never understand. xD).

-If she cant make it, ask her when she is available. Set it for then.

Follow those 2 bits, and you'll get the date, trust me.



gwenevyn
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11 Jan 2008, 3:09 pm

Topher wrote:
I just logged back on just to browse plentyoffish, and I've noticed she is online. Should i instant message her or would that just give her the impression im stalking her and trying to put pressure on her? Im feeling very indecisive at the moment.


My advice:

If she sees you logged in frequently and you don't message her, she will assume you are talking to someone else.

If she continues to seem interested, go ahead and say more. If she does not reply, do not send another message until she does, or at least wait quite a few days before sending another (very short) message.

If any of her cues contradict this advice, follow her cues and disregard the advice. :)

I don't like BlackBull's suggestion entirely. Do be specific about a date and time so that she knows you're really asking, not just making conversation or being polite, but don't act like you're presuming she'll go. If a guy I barely knew phrased something like that to me ("let's" rather than "can you?") I would feel like I'm being pressured or like he is a player.


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Topher
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11 Jan 2008, 5:15 pm

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If she sees you logged in frequently and you don't message her, she will assume you are talking to someone else.



I was logged in frequently all this evening. I know she was on. I'm worried she might think I've been messaging someone else like you said. I have been so excited I had hoped she would have replied today. I've messed up haven't I? :(



Mark198423
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11 Jan 2008, 5:26 pm

Topher wrote:
Quote:
If she sees you logged in frequently and you don't message her, she will assume you are talking to someone else.



I was logged in frequently all this evening. I know she was on. I'm worried she might think I've been messaging someone else like you said. I have been so excited I had hoped she would have replied today. I've messed up haven't I? :(


Maybe not. If she was on too and you didn't recieve anything from her then maybe she's talking to others herself?



Topher
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11 Jan 2008, 5:53 pm

Mark198423 wrote:
Topher wrote:
Quote:
If she sees you logged in frequently and you don't message her, she will assume you are talking to someone else.



I was logged in frequently all this evening. I know she was on. I'm worried she might think I've been messaging someone else like you said. I have been so excited I had hoped she would have replied today. I've messed up haven't I? :(


Maybe not. If she was on too and you didn't recieve anything from her then maybe she's talking to others herself?


That does not fill me with optimism sadly.



MikeInVa
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11 Jan 2008, 5:58 pm

Topher wrote:
MikeInVa wrote:
That's nice to hear Topher,perhaps I should sign up after all & see what happens.

Just be careful & don't get your hopes up onlt to have them dashed as people on the net aren't always who they claim to be.


I know what you mean, I almost got suckered into a dating scam once, however thanks to my latent paranoia and a topic i posted on here i avoided it. This girl seems special, she noted i responded to every point in her profile and she answered every question I asked as well as asked some of her own :)


Well I signed up this afternoon & sent a message to someone so now comes the waiting game.Of course after getting scammed on another site I'm not overly confident about POF but I'm willing to give it a shot anyway.



MikeInVa
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11 Jan 2008, 6:12 pm

BlackBull wrote:
Looked good bro. She seems interested, and is one of those who's actually looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with.

Now, dont tell her things on the internet right away. Find a place to meet up (Coffee shop man. Trust me. No restrauants. Saves money, and neither of you need to get dressed up and put on you're best behavior. At the coffee shop, you two can be totally relaxed and have a fun convo, and coffee's only 3$. Everyone wins)

When you two meet up in person, talk about what was said in the message. In person, this works 100x better, because you'd be able to show body language, and get your messages across much faster.

Tell me how it goes Topher. Look forward to hearing the outcome.


Yeah,that's what I told the person I contacted....I suggested meeting at Starbucks(I'm a frappuchino addict LOL) would be a good location for a first date.



gwenevyn
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11 Jan 2008, 6:22 pm

Topher wrote:
Quote:
If she sees you logged in frequently and you don't message her, she will assume you are talking to someone else.



I was logged in frequently all this evening. I know she was on. I'm worried she might think I've been messaging someone else like you said. I have been so excited I had hoped she would have replied today. I've messed up haven't I? :(


No, no, no! You haven't messed up. I'm sorry I phrased it like that. I don't know what she might be thinking. What I meant to do was alert you to the possibility that if you're on really often and not talking to her, she may think that you're talking to someone else. In the beginning, that's okay (in my opinion). I would frankly recommend trying to chat with a few different girls at first. I don't mean try to date them all, just look at lots of profiles and maybe say a few words here and there to the ones who catch your interest (if you're not doing so already). That way you won't pin all your hopes on one. Later on, if something develops, you'll want to stop interacting with the others and be more conscious of how that sort of thing might appear to the girl with whom you have mutual, serious interest going on.

And don't take my advice too seriously :oops: . I only have my own observations and experiences to go on.

You wrote back to her, right? :)


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The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them. -Antoine de Saint Exupéry


Topher
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11 Jan 2008, 7:05 pm

Quote:
Heya =)

Your welcome. Thank you for your e-mail. It was a brilliant read and I was really happy to get it. =) I went back through it a few times as I really liked it. =)

Your course definitely seems appropriate, especially with what our country is going through. Although if all that talk about Global Warming is true people like you will needed a lot. Are you learning to drive at all? My test is in 2 weeks, although I've been out in a Land Rover and Off Roading has it's perks to say the least =) But I may just stick to road cars.

Where in Bristol is your course based? Are you at Bristol University, or UWE at all? I was planning to go there myself but they messed up my application. Otherwise I would be doing a degree in Motorsport Engineering. =P

Apart from studying i play Darts for fun. I have tried clay pigeon shooting and they say im accurate so I shall keep working on that. I write a lot of fan-fiction, i saw the X-Men films and i thought they rocked. I normally go out a couple of times a week down the local pub to socialize and relax, either that or i stick some music on and just surf the web. or im playing video games, something like Command and Conquer or Elder Scrolls. I try to make life interesting but I get by without having to worry. =)

I tend to go into my own world a lot, so I have an active imagination, I find it makes a good distraction form the pressures of life. Hence why I love randomness since I think a lot of random stuff up. Not many people tend to understand how my mind works =)

I have heard so much about Apocalyptica but I've only heard bits and pieces of them. People say they are awesome so I should grab some songs. Could you recommend any good songs of theirs I could have a listen too? =) The same with Creed. I hear they are an awesome band.

60/70 is very impressive! Thats awesome! How long have you been going to gigs for? =D Are there any good gigs which stand out especially? Do you go to see specific bands or do you just go for any which you like? =) Have you seen a lot of the country? It certainly seems worth the money, once i locate a place which has gig dates I will have to try and go to one, I was thinking of going to that KoRn one on the 23rd but my guess but im not sure.

Brown is a lovely colour, =) mine was a light shade of brown but after using some temporary black dye it's now a dark brown all the time. =P I was tempted to dye it green just to be random. Have you ever wanted to dye your hair?

I know how you feel about work, I've got one assignment to get on with, I have had exams, although that means worrying about results. I hope you don't have too many to worry about. =) Good luck in them too, I hope you do well. =)

Thank you a lot for replying to my message again. It was wonderful to hear from you, I hope once you get time away from your studies you may reply again. I hope my reply was not too long. It meant to lot to hear from you. =)

Hope to hear from you, all the best.


Sent her that last night.



LVBen
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11 Jan 2008, 7:09 pm

MikeInVa wrote:
BlackBull wrote:
Looked good bro. She seems interested, and is one of those who's actually looking for someone to have a meaningful relationship with.

Now, dont tell her things on the internet right away. Find a place to meet up (Coffee shop man. Trust me. No restrauants. Saves money, and neither of you need to get dressed up and put on you're best behavior. At the coffee shop, you two can be totally relaxed and have a fun convo, and coffee's only 3$. Everyone wins)

When you two meet up in person, talk about what was said in the message. In person, this works 100x better, because you'd be able to show body language, and get your messages across much faster.

Tell me how it goes Topher. Look forward to hearing the outcome.


Yeah,that's what I told the person I contacted....I suggested meeting at Starbucks(I'm a frappuchino addict LOL) would be a good location for a first date.



Starbucks is a great place for a first date. It gives you a chance to get to know the basics about each other in a casual and comfortable environment. It is cheap, which is important for a few reasons. For many NT women, the more money you spend on them, the less respect they have for you, and if it turns out that you two aren't compatible, then you are only out $10 instead of wasting $50+ on a typical date with a girl you will never see again.



LVBen
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11 Jan 2008, 7:13 pm

Topher wrote:

Sent her that last night.


Hmm. Too long. Too apologetic. Too many compliments. Too much "I hope".

You may have scared her away.

But that is just my opinion! I might be completely wrong.