C1890 wrote:
I have been going out with someone who also has AS and we have been going for quite a while. I have gotten to really like him a lot! However, he does not want to date anymore as he thinks I will move away after college. We are both in college together but I go home for holidays. I have never said I would move away only my family lives far away so he thinks I will go where they are or something. I said that I like him a lot and I may not move and could find work here. He said if you do then maybe we would get back together. I really feel bad as I really like this person and if he really likes me too and there is a good chance that I would live here then why brake up? He said we could find other people that could make a better living then we do. I hate this because he is the person I like! My fear is that I will end up living here, we will be dating other people and can't get together just because he was afraid I was going to move away. I actually have a feeling that it is one of those things in AS where you put things into categories that this is the way it has to happen which is making him afraid. However, I could be wrong and he may not like me as much as I like him. But if it is the first thing then I feel I should say or do something? Anyone have any advice?
hes protecting himself, and his emotions. this makes the most logical sense, and logic is typically what we go by (or at least what i go by, the vast majority of the time).
if you tell him "im not leaving. im staying right here, and i want to stay with you", (then actually stay lol) he would feel more reassured that you really wanted him in your life exactly how he was. have you two said 'i love you'?
i think if you tell him that, and stay, it will work out. if there is any chance you are moving, it would be better for him to get over you NOW instead of having you just disappear semi-instantly. being together just to see you leave would probably just build him up for more hurt, in the end, right? and if thats what he is trying to avoid then it likely means he is VERY into you, and doesnt want to see you go.
no MAYBE's. you have to decide: stay or go, then talk to him. thats what i think would work best to figure it out with him. no beating around the bush. were all terrible at reading into that. be direct.
18 Feb 2012, 1:03 am
