Anyone cheated on someone they were with?

Post Reply New Topic

I was cheated on, a lot, by the first girl I ever loved. It absolutely devastated me.

The whole subject still bothers me, so much so that I get an unpleasant feeling in my chest just hearing about other people being cheated on.

I've never cheated, and never would. I couldn't do that to someone I claimed to love.

I've been the guy someone's cheated with once. Even just that, despite being a messed up turn-on, made me feel like crap about myself.

If I ever felt like I just had to bang someone new (which doesn't sound like me anyway), I'd end the relationship and let my partner out with her dignity intact, rather than making a fool of her for the sake of maintaining a relationship that is clearly already in the shitter.

no, I haven't done it, but I have thought about it
I have been cheated on.

Stalk, why would you do it? I mean, you said you thought about it. Was that because your relationship was bad, or simply temptation?

I thought about it because I lost attraction back home, so that would be, lust or temptation, just to get it. I didn't go through with it because it doesn't feel right and then I would have to keep track of more lies. The guilt feeling would be a dead give away to my partner at the time.

I see. It makes sense. Did that relationship end? May I ask how it ended?

Yes it ended, she triggered a meltdown and I asked her to move out. The end was sudden, but we since had time to discuss and go over things. We are at least friends now. But I know she wants more, I cannot. I haven't had any romantic relations since then.

That's what happened with my marriage. I moved countries, believe it or not. But we too are friends. I believe he would take me back anytime, but I have told him that will NEVER happen because I am not attracted to him anymore, and because he irritates me so much, living together was always wrong.

Did you still fee attracted to her? With me it was never going to be salvageable because I felt nothing but disgust for him (not his fault).

No, I don't feel attracted to her, it hurts to write it, because she says other men finds her attractive, so she must be attractive. I just don't see her that way and haven't for a long time. I do find other women attractive, just not her. When I stopped feeling emotionally romantic towards her, that is when I decided to end it.

I still wonder how I ever did. I can only assume it's chemistry, that is later imbalanced, by new and unexpected reactions?

Maybe, because of the power you had in the relationship, and you didn't know what to do with it? Looking for someone else to share it with that could understand or give you the emotional support you needed/wanted. Felt you didn't do anything right in the eyes of your husband and this other person didn't push you to do anything your husband wanted you to do. Something like that?

Sounds about right Stalk. The nagging was too much. That's what I remember the most. Followed by all the social gatherings he wanted me to attend, when all I wanted was to be alone.

What. No. Marriage is not the ultimate commitment, nor the only sign of monogamy. You can have people in open marriages and you can have people who are dating only each other. It depends on what the people in question negotiate as the optimal state for their relationship. Some people never get married and stay in a relationship for the rest of their lives but that doesn't make them any less committed than the people who met only six months ago and rushed into marriage.

Cheating is not necessarily sleeping with people other than your partner (or kissing or flirting or whatever you deem an unfaithful act to be). Cheating is doing those things without your partner's consent, however far into a relationship you may be.

Translation: Cheating is when you do anything without someone else's expressed permission, because being in a relationship of any kind is all about having control over someone else's thoughts, words, and actions.

Well, yes, I don't see too much semantic difference between 'consent' and 'permission'... I do disagree that being in a relationship is equal to controlling your partner's behaviour, though. I see a positive relationship as being more about compromise, finding the middle ground where you're both as happy as possible.

I don't think anybody owns their partner or can control them in the way they think want.
Maybe, if you apply Stockholm Syndrome to a relationship, one could be submissive and the other controlling. But I guess that is a specific type of relationship.

Nope. Let me ask Mario, hey Mario have you cheated on Princess Peach?[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SX3JnUhTaE&feature=related[/youtube]