Stood up by an autistic girl

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You left her messages, even if the phone was down eventually she would get them.
If you keep trying and she is getting them, to her that makes you seem needy.

Unless she tries to contact you again, just move on and forget about her.

I can only give you my very own account, and I am an autistic man(ish type of... thing ^^), but things that excite me emotionally, it takes me a while to work up the courage to face them. This holds true for everyone, I guess, but in my oppinion, most autistic people have faced some kind of rejection and disappointment, and one of the reasons why cannot handle it is because we almost never realize what went wrong. So, when I am expecting an E-mail from someone very important or about a very important topic, and it finally arrives, I never open it straight away. The more important it is, the more time it takes me to wind up the courage and read it, simply because in this situation, I have the power over how hard disappointment will hit me. I can work through all possible scenarios in my head that could lead to me not getting what I want, so when I read it, I am not surprised anymore if the reason why I "failed" is given by the other person - I have the feeling I have found a way to sympathize with people since I "figured them all out". Of course, this logic is flawed, as more often than not, I don't get rejected (anymore), but my brain is still running "on the old software", in "rejection mode" if you will. It has not caught on to the fact that people might actually WANT something from ME, and therefore are more than happy to accomodate me and my desires, also. For example: When I applied at a professor for my PhD, and he replied, I didn't read that thing for a week. When I got the results of my final exams, I didn't read them for about a month. And this makes approaching people, especially women, very hard for me. If a blue moon occurs and I meet someone I find interesting, everything usually gets stuck at some point where I simply take too long - from their perspective - to make any kind of "move" to show that I want to take things a little further. Women, so is my perception, usually want signs of affection quite early and straight away to know if it is worth their time and effort, and I cannot provide that in reasonable speed. Maybe it is the same for her, maybe it is not. But I do think that chances are a little higher than with "normal" people that she might actually be completely freaked out.

As a footnote, I'd like to add that her saying that she is autistic straight away does not necessarily imply she is using it as an excuse, or has "aspie pride". You have to admit, we only have too choices: Be honest straight away or keep it hidden as long as possible, and none of these options is inherently better thant the other. If we drop the bomb right away, it might scare people away. If we try and hide it, we have to take the blame for being liars. Not at all an easy choice to make. I can only tell from my own experience that I only tell people I care about alot.

No, she's a total b***h, best bet is you give a way for one of the forum members here to contact her.

Thanks everyone for your input. It's been helpful.

Since people are speculating, I'll clarify where I can:

Yes, we're both adults. She is about 30 years old and I am 33.

It's unlikely I'll be running into her by chance even though my workplace is very close to hers.

It is possible that she lost/forgot her phone, but she does have my email and plenty of internet access should something like that happen and she need to contact me.

I figured she was fairly high functioning. I would have just assumed a degree of shyness about her had she not told me of her autism. She said she was more-or-less unable to read me. At a couple of points, she was unusually direct and I assume that was part of the reason why. She also seemed unusually cautious about me. We walked around a bit, and she seemed to have a comfort zone (literally a zone) that she was didn't want to leave.

I'll admit I was a little peeved about Saturday. I had given up going to see my Mum for Mother's Day, and in retrospect I should have gone. Now, I had other reasons to avoid the seven hours of driving that going home would have involved, but they don't seem adequate in light of my uneventful weekend.

Welcome to the rejection club. I'm sorry, you seem like a really understanding guy, but people are people. I think you're a catch, if that helps.

lol and she even ruined your Mother's day.

Did you find her on an dating site?
She won't reply to you, she probably serially does this to many other guys she meets online - ignoring is much less time consuming for her in her dating quest. She probably had already forgot about you on Sunday while you're still talking about her in a thread, lol there's a cosmos-sized of gap between your interest in her and her interest in you.

She met you for real once, she didn't feel that "chemistry" or whatever, and therefore you automatically became a ghost in her life. Don't be surprised if she was with another date on Saturday.

You're just a digit for her now, another unwanted "new message" of the many new messages in her inbox.

That's not an autistic thing, that's simply a typical case of dating through dating sites.

Even though you already have the answer, I will obviously say that she is definitely not interested. She may be diagnosed with Autism, but I would certainly expect by the age of 30 that she knows full well what she is doing when communicating interest with someone. Using the "I have Autism" card tends to lose it's merit when one reaches a certain age (noticing she never used that card, or maybe I am missing something based on the posts here).

Tbh it is one of those things, I would move on.

Autistic or not people will make their excuses/explanations.

If you haven't convinced her by now, the then is less likely to happen, but if it does the ball is in her court.

If you really feel you had something special, you could appeal one more time, just say that she is welcome to get touch discuss any concerns and you are not pressuring her to do so. Leave it at that though.

Once you move on try not to dwell on it too long.

Hope that helps.

You are your own nuerotype too, and human, so really no matter what the debate is on impasses for people on the spectrum there are practical implication for everyone regarding how they behave, whatever there reasons for it, impacts situations like this. That is why I like to be upfront about myself and how I am, so there is no confusion and unmet expectations.