This is embarrassing to ask at my age

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AstroPi
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14 Jun 2018, 11:44 pm

Peacesells wrote:

Typical Flat Earth argument.

No, Flat Earthers are opposing evidence, not theory. And alternative theories are very important in science, otherwise we would still have only Newton's theory of gravity etc. I'm just saying that extraordinary claims need extraordinary evidence, and those misogynist evolutionary pseudo-theorists claiming that women evolved as whores need to disprove all other hypothesis first, because if someone is indeed Flat Earther it's them, since their hypothesis doesn't match FACTS, like falling in love, men's jealousy etc.

_________________
Back to nonverbal.

Fay
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15 Jun 2018, 3:03 am

Do this not take as any offese for this are just thoughts.

I think one of the reason why many people haveing short lived relationships is simply because they most likely do not want to spend further efforts then pleasure. This is ok if people agree on weither i see it from a different perspective but in the long run this doesnt have emotional sadisfaction. Most likely people do have the need for a deeper connection that is lasting longer then a few weeks and will settle. Sex and love are two different things and getting very complicated if they come together i get that. Yet the society has changed the course of value in a relationship in like 180 dagree within the past years. To im glad people opened up more to homosexuality and multiple relationships, if this makes the people happy who iam i to deny this but lately i do feel people haveing become incapable of any kind of relationship which is sad.

rdos
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15 Jun 2018, 3:42 am

goldfish21 wrote:

Marriage & monogamy is a very short lived experiment in human history.

Completely wrong. It's the norm in the human species. At least for NTs, but largely for NDs too.

goldfish21 wrote:

Who's to say it was more successful? Maybe if you're only measuring by divorce rates. How many people stayed with abusive partners? Or had sexless marriages? Or put up with cheating? Or weren't attracted to their now fat partner? Or disliked their partner's unwillingness or inability to work and provide for them? Just because marriages stayed together doesn't mean they were good marriages.

Most, but not all, of the marriages in my grandparent's generation were happy. I think that was the norm. Abusive relationships still are a huge problem and the ability to file for a divorce is really not the solution in many cases as there usually is dependence, violence or threat of violence that keeps these women (and sometimes men too) with their abusive partners.

goldfish21 wrote:

IMO, people having the freedom to do w/e they want w/o so much societal pressure to get married and stay that way is a great thing. More and more people are opting for some form of non-monogamous open relationship, too, which will likely prevent a lot of divorces for those who do decide to get married.

Still, it doesn't seem to work. High levels of divorce, more loneliness, and more depression & psychological problems show that it doesn't work. And the reason it doesn't work is because it is not natural for humans (of any neurotype).

rdos
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15 Jun 2018, 3:53 am

AstroPi wrote:

What can be norm is dictated by evolution (but not "the survival of the fittest" bullsh*t), everything else is just a statistical error. Human children need emotional stability to grow, that means love of their parents for many years (10+). It's impossible when one changes their partner often, so such behaviour will never be "normal".

Exactly. The long dependence of human children means that parents must stay together, or that women must form networks and raise children together. The latter might be part of the NT-solution, but not for NDs. Also note that when women form networks, or society helps them raise children on their own, men will be denied their right to help raise their children.

rdos
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15 Jun 2018, 4:05 am

goldfish21 wrote:

Why are you excluding the possibility of two parents raising a child together while also each having multiple sexual partners?

This never worked. It only works in today's culture because of contraceptives. It never worked in the past because of paternal uncertainty, and the fact that males will not invest in offspring unless they know it's theirs. Sex without contraceptives generates babies, you know, and when fathers don't want to support them because they suspect the mother had sex with other men, these babies are at high risk of dying or growing up in a harsh environment. So, those babies have poorer survival chances, and so evolution added love and monogamy to solve the problem.

rdos
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15 Jun 2018, 4:13 am

goldfish21 wrote:

Why some people need multiple partners and others don't is entirely an individual thing. We have, however, as a species, evolved to accommodate multiple sexual partners in a short period of time. This is why there are different types of sperm cells that behave like a football team in the race for the egg.. there are blocker sperm designed to attack/block other men's sperm in order to allow the fast swimmers to break through and get to the egg first. Survival of the fittest applies even to our reproductive cells.

You got it completely backwards. Many primate species have multiple sexual partners during mating periods, but then they have no cooperative rearing of their offspring, which is why it works. Humans evolved away from this behavior because it doesn't work when demand of rearing children for longer periods of time increase. The solution to that problem was pair bonding.

Also, I'm sure sperm competition is not a big issue in humans, and it only was retained as a curiosity from our primate ancestors where it was adaptive.

goldfish21 wrote:

I never said my genitals have eyes. I said there's a response in my genitals when I see someone I'm attracted to.

Yes, which is activated by your brain.

rdos
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15 Jun 2018, 4:38 am

goldfish21 wrote:

I had a conversation with a straight friend from the beach yesterday. He and his gf of 10 years are trying to make their first baby. He still sleeps with other women, she knows about it and is okay with it, and they have a great relationship that works for them. I'm not sure if she sleeps with other men or not - I didn't ask. Many people are finding that open relationships, with clearly agreed to ground rules, work better for them than monogamous ones. This is a lesson many are learning from the LGBT community. "Traditional marriage," works so well that ~1/2 of them end in divorce. But when people accept the fact that they're in love with their partners, but still into hooking up with other people for pleasure, then they find a balance that works for them & life goes on just fine. It's not for everyone, but for many, being monogamish is plenty better than breaking up or getting divorced.

I used to believe in polyamory (the asexual variant), but I've changed my mind on it. The connection to polyamory in neurodiversity only exists for males, and only in the specific context of loving somebody at a distance. Which I suspect is just their way of playing the natural courtship game, but often not getting anywhere because they don't know how it is supposed to work. If these men had been more successful with the natural courtship they would have switched partner instead of staying with their other partner.

I think a loving relationship with one partner beats sleeping around with multiple partners big time. And it does so because it is natural for humans.

rdos
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15 Jun 2018, 4:48 am

goldfish21 wrote:

Science has concluded that these cells attack other men's sperm who have recently fornicated with the same female in order to give one's own sperm the best chance of fertilizing the egg. It's not my conclusion. It's known biological fact.

Sure, and this is useful in primate species with short mating periods, but not for humans. This is a pure curiousity in humans because human females typically don't have sex with multiple partners at more or less the same time.

Temeraire
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15 Jun 2018, 4:57 am

If you are still out there RavenShark then I would be keen to hear how you are doing.

Has anything on this thread been of any use to you in your pursuit to find a girlfriend?

rdos
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15 Jun 2018, 5:01 am

Fay wrote:

I think one of the reason why many people haveing short lived relationships is simply because they most likely do not want to spend further efforts then pleasure.

Exactly, and it doesn't get better when people have multiple sexual relationships without any effort.

Fay wrote:

This is ok if people agree on weither i see it from a different perspective but in the long run this doesnt have emotional sadisfaction. Most likely people do have the need for a deeper connection that is lasting longer then a few weeks and will settle.

True. That is human nature, and not "have as much sex as you can".

Fay wrote:

Sex and love are two different things and getting very complicated if they come together i get that.

Many people believe they are all the same, but that is not the case. People need to view them as separate.

Fay wrote:

Yet the society has changed the course of value in a relationship in like 180 dagree within the past years. To im glad people opened up more to homosexuality and multiple relationships, if this makes the people happy who iam i to deny this but lately i do feel people haveing become incapable of any kind of relationship which is sad.

Yes, because they don't put any effort into it, and rather switch partner than compromise or work on a relationship.

Peacesells
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15 Jun 2018, 6:24 am

AstroPi wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

Typical Flat Earth argument.

It is a well known flattard argument that gravity is just a theory, for example, and it shouldn't be given much credit. In any case both of you didn't post any article about your statements, I can only see that according to Wiki this killer sperm thing is not very confirmed.

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