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Feeling like I'm difficult in my relationship.

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Medb
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 13 Jul 2020
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 4

24 Jul 2020, 9:03 pm

I've been with my current (NT) boyfriend for a year and a half. He is caring, attentive, and empathetic, and I'm so happy. BUT there are so many challenges with trying to get a NT to understand all of my idiosyncrasies, and I know sometimes he gets frustrated trying to accommodate to all of my issues with emotional trauma, bipolar disorder, and autism. I get even more frustrated with myself, and for every trigger he tries to mitigate there are 5 more that I just swallow because I don't want to feel 'difficult.' I don't know what the balance is between asking for too much and making sure my needs are met. Anyone else struggle with feeling difficult?



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

24 Jul 2020, 9:29 pm

Medb wrote:
I've been with my current (NT) boyfriend for a year and a half. He is caring, attentive, and empathetic, and I'm so happy. BUT there are so many challenges with trying to get a NT to understand all of my idiosyncrasies, and I know sometimes he gets frustrated trying to accommodate to all of my issues with emotional trauma, bipolar disorder, and autism. I get even more frustrated with myself, and for every trigger he tries to mitigate there are 5 more that I just swallow because I don't want to feel 'difficult.' I don't know what the balance is between asking for too much and making sure my needs are met. Anyone else struggle with feeling difficult?


We are aspies.
Being difficult is in our job description. 8)

He sounds like a great guy and I would do everything to keep him, in your position.
How much does he know about autism?
I assume he knows you have been diagnosed?