I don't know what's wrong with me.

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I know that I’m young and all, but frankly, I’m 17 years old and I do not know anyone my age that has never been with anyone. I have absolutely zero friends. I have never had any sort of friends and not a single person has ever expressed any sort of interest in me, and it doesn’t look like that’s going to change any time soon. I try to be nice to people, but it seems that I'm just not interesting enough or attractive enough or likable enough or whatever it is that makes people want to spend time around me. Everyone says to like, try to find groups of people who are interested in the same things I'm interested in, but even then, no one wants to hang out with me, even if I make friendly overtures. It seems like I'm just hopeless. Is it possible for a person to, like, go their entire lives without finding anyone? Without ever making friends or getting with someone? Because it looks like that's just about where I'm headed.

Well, 17 isn't that old, you know. I was 20 when I got my first kiss, and 22 when I got my first sober kiss and also first almost-sex. It was around your age that my so-called best friend at the time decided to ditch me for the 'cool' crowds. So whilst I was fairly lonely during my last years of high school, I found newer, more awesome ones at university.

In regards to the almost-sex, the physical/emotional intimacy kind of freaked me the f**k out and it didn't end up happening, despite me really caring for the guy (best uni friend for five years so far) and actually feeling like I could have been ready for it. Stupid anxiety.

If it makes you feel better I'm 22 and haven't ever even held a girls hand. The only friends I have are online. And only 3 of them. Best recommendation I could give you would be to join a group with an interest. Whether it's something simple like online gaming, these forums, an academic subject, whatever it is. Also, being attractive or likable is all in the eye of the beholder. It will always depend on who you ask. Take your time, don't ever get pushy with friendships either as that will just push them away quicker.

Out of interest for your own psychological well-being you should probably work on the "no friends" thing before anything else, by joining various clubs. You don't have to be popular, but no man is an island. If you may go on to attend university your social life may improve there as well, there is a wider variety of opportunities to meet friends there.

All I can say about women is that you shouldn't rule anyone out too quickly because you think she may have issues or you think you're not compatible (you may not be as good a judge of this as you think) and not to make a big deal out of a first date because it shouldn't be a big deal. Between ages 17-23 that's all I really learned.

Well....you might want to work with a therapist or a life coach to do some role-playing, and educate yourself on body language (how to use yours to your advantage in making friends). It could be that you're giving off a "loner" vibe, or making yourself seem unapproachable in some way. I'm not saying that's the problem, or that you're doing something wrong....but why not do everything you can to ensure you're making the best impression? Social skills are skills like any other kind of skill - they can be learned, practiced, improved. Why not make the investment in yourself? Good luck.

Wow, please relax.
Life is beautiful!
It isn't that bad.
Please take your time.
Don't be in a hurry.
Yes, it's good if you can share your interests with others.
You will definitely make friends through that.
But you have to be real if you said you are interested in something, then you can discuss with them.
If you just want to hang out with someone in that group, but you are not attractive enough and can not discuss with them. They will not feel like to be with you.
And there are also other ways to make friends.
You can help others or just say hello to them everyday or smile to them everyday.

I believe that you will have friends some day not long away.

Hrmm, probably should have left some advice as to where I found friends. D'oh.

But yeh, I just joined a bunch of clubs that interested me, like Role-Playing, Fire-Twirling, and Dark Ages Re-enactment, and turned up regularly. All the first-year students are in the same boat, as in they're new to the university and don't have friends yet, so friends are easier to find and make than they would be in say, high school, where everybody knows you and has their own clique.

Good luck. It will be okay!

As far as friendship goes, use the internet.

Forget school. Forget so called hobby groups. You are 17 and by the sound of it are nearly out of school. When you get in the work force people will have to be civil to you or you can get into tiffs.

Also why do you think this is... what sort of things do you try to talk to people about?

Also as far as a girlfriend goes, i would NOT reccomend this before you make some friends. Why? Because when it all turns to custard you will have no-one to go to who you share mutual respect with to help pick yourself up. It can also lead to unhealthy obsessions with your ex.

When your looking for a girlfriend, or someone to hang out with...don't try so hard. When I was younger, I would butt into people's coversations, and follow them around, trying to get them to like me...this only annoyed them, and made me seem desperate.

Silverweed is she.

I wrote a post about social skills in the thread "Tell me what sucks about you and I'll work w/ you to fix it". Consider reading it. It might be helpful.

As previously mentioned, you should NOT try to get a relationship before making at least a couple of friends. I would suggest that you read lots of books and e-books and watch videos about the subject. I don't know if I'm supposed to recommend this in a forum, but torrents are great for self-help information!

When it comes to understanding the social hiearchy the Mystery Method e-book, which is about getting girls, gives a throughout description of what's going on. But first I'd say talk to weirdos and get in contact with people who has the same interests as you, and you won't have a lot to prove socially.

Just start the conversations with "What are you doing?", "How do you do" etc. and don't walk away because of shyness. A good follow up question could be about their interests.

Remember to give and take. If you catch yourself in rambling on about something that interests you, ask for his/her opinion. Ask questions about them and try to get the conversation going. If you screw up it's not the end of the world. A friend accepts social inadequaties much more than a flirt.

A smart thing to do with friends is to do something together. Can you think any kind of activity that could be funny or interesting? This way you will get emotional responses together and you are able to establish a kind of bonding. You'll feel more at ease and have less trouble conversing. If you do some kind of activity together you won't have to talk all the time to feel comfortable either. Topics you can talk about and comment will come to mind spontaniously and you or her/him will start conversing about these things.

Unsure of this, but activities that you do together should possibly not be way too personal at first. I really don't know. I'm having troubles with this. I veeeeeery rarely invite friends to my place. I go to their places or go do something together with them. Don't take this as advice though. Any of you guys know approximately how early in a friendship you can invite friends over to you. I'm scared of intimidating others by doing it too early. I really don't know if there is a right answer to this though. People seem to be able to do it early on, and the dating community recommends doing it after getting to know them. Well.. It's no biggie for me though. My primary social problems have been solved.

Good luck!

. Well your in good company when you say your not likable or not interesting , we have beautiful and brainy aspies here who have it all and they still manage to find the time to complain, I'd kill to be like some of the people here.

Do you really want to be likable now that I have the diagnosis am old enough and ugly enough to look after myself and have my (severe) co morbid conditions (almost) dealt with these things are not so important to me may be you'll come to the same realisation as you get older.

I was the same way when I was in school OP. I didn't really have any friends at all except a couple people who I lost touch with after graduation & I did not have any kind of romantic relationship till I was about 20 & then it was an internet thing for the most part. Try not to worry so much about having friends & finding someone rite now. Lots of high-school romances seem to end tragically & lots of so-called friends can lose touch after graduation or they can betray your friendship. There's lots of drama in high-school & looking back on things; I'm glad I wasn't really interested in that stuff when I was in school cuz it saved me a lot of headaches. Having no friends is rough but I much rather have a couple true friends who I can turn to than a group of superficial people. Joining clubs/groups is a good try but you should join stuff because you have an interest in it; that way even if you don't make friends for a while; you will still get something out of it so you won't be as terribly disappointed about not having friends. Things mite could get better after graduation. If you have plans for college or something; focusing on that will be a good distraction & you mite could try using that as a way to make friends. If you need someone to talk to; coming to WrongPlanet can be a big help & you mite could make some great friends here or least chat with people who care & try to understand. You can always PM me if you or anyone else needs some online friends