How do you prefer to be asked out?

Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

CrinklyCrustacean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284

23 Oct 2010, 5:10 am

Straight up ("I really like you. Will you be my bf/gf?") or something else? :)



Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

23 Oct 2010, 5:12 am

I'm really not fussed, just as long as it's in a way in which I can understand, without any doubt, what the girl is telling me. I don't want to be in a position where I'm wondering whether or not she means that she likes me or not, I want to be able to know for sure.

This doesn't mean it can't be via flirting, though, because I'm usually surprisingly good at getting that.



spongy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,055
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave

23 Oct 2010, 5:42 am

I dont mind about how its done as long as the intentions are clear.

Having said that before I start a relationship with another person I like to get to know the person first, so if a person I dont know much about says that they like me I might suggest to expend sometime together before anything happens.


If theres some flirting it usually has to be over done otherwise I wont understand whats going on. Im not good at picking up signs and that kind of things and I dont usually get them unless they are done several times by the same person and I start to think why would a person start acting in such an awkward way. By the time I realize whats going on my chance of starting a relationship is high likely to be long over already(there have been some cases where the "flirting" went on for years and I only found out because the other person told me that they were interested in me, its a shame this happened when said person was already on a relationship ).


_________________
Please take the time to answer this quick survey to help improve the community

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt255139.html


Hector
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,493

23 Oct 2010, 6:50 am

If a woman walked straight up to me and asked me if I could be her boyfriend, or even told me she thought I was very attractive, then depending on the delivery I'd either believe it was a joke of some kind or I was being tricked. If she were to ask me out I'd either be very enthusiastic or very apologetic depending on whether I was attracted to her; this approach would be preferred.



KazigluBey
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2009
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 405

23 Oct 2010, 8:03 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Straight up ("I really like you. Will you be my bf/gf?") or something else? :)


Clarity and straight forward is ALWAYS a plus in my book. Though, I am a guy and so it's less than likely that a woman would ask me out. The young lady I'm talking to right now also enjoys straight to the point as she has told me, that like me, ambiguity and subtleness is sometimes lost on her.



HopefulRomantic
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 399
Location: Atlanta, GA

23 Oct 2010, 8:35 am

My natural paradigm is directness tempered with subtlety, respect and tact. I have never understood why men and women (and most people for that matter) erect artificial barriers between themselves in terms of communication.

As long as something is said with respect and tact, then why can't men and women express their interest in each other?

I espouse the motto: the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

How many missed connections have we all had because on party could not muster up the courage to tell the other party " I find you interesting and I would like to get to know you better."?[b]

For me, taking the calculated risk of getting to know someone better (with the caveat that I find them attractive and intriguing) is the only option!

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!



Kaybee
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Oct 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,446
Location: A hidden forest

23 Oct 2010, 10:30 am

All that matters is that the intention is clear. If there is any ambiguity over whether it is friendly socialization or a date, I will probably think it's the former.


_________________
"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."


CaroleTucson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 824
Location: Tucson, AZ

23 Oct 2010, 11:52 am

Kaybee wrote:
If there is any ambiguity over whether it is friendly socialization or a date, I will probably think it's the former.


I don't disagree, but sometimes the ambiguity is unavoidable. Neither of you may know yet which it is. Personally, I don't have a problem with that. The men who ask me out are usually pretty casual about it, but maybe it's just from being somewhat older.

Where ambiguity becomes a problem is if they assume there's more to the relationship than there is. I have been dumbfounded in the past to discover than a guy considered me to be "his girl", where I thought it was just a casual dating relationship. That's a difficult situation to deal with.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

23 Oct 2010, 12:10 pm

"Sir, can you kindly take your leave before kicking you out?"



Seanmw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jul 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,639
Location: Bremerton, WA

23 Oct 2010, 3:30 pm

at gunpoint :P
...J/K

it's kinda fun if the flirt around the subject a little before bringing it up directly


_________________
+Blog: http://itsdeeperthanyouknow.blogspot.com/
+"Beneath all chaos lies perfect order"


HopefulRomantic
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 11 Aug 2010
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 399
Location: Atlanta, GA

23 Oct 2010, 3:51 pm

Kaybee wrote:
All that matters is that the intention is clear. If there is any ambiguity over whether it is friendly socialization or a date, I will probably think it's the former.


In my personal experience. two people are "seeing" each other if they are dating but have not agreed to date exclusively. Until both parties agree that they are dating each other "exclusively", chances are both parties will not know the exact status of the relationship.

[b]As with anything else in life, confusion abounds , until people discuss a matter explicitly (i.e. what exactly do you mean?) and then follow up with feedback to ensure they are both on the same page (for clarification sake, my understanding of our conversation is this . . . . )


Last time I heard people do not read minds so if you want to ensure there is no misunderstanding, the best course of action is to speak about it and confirm understanding!

HR



Moog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

23 Oct 2010, 4:02 pm

Brick with a note attached slung at head.


_________________
Not currently a moderator


Lecks
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,987
Location: Belgium

23 Oct 2010, 4:33 pm

In a dark alley at night, in close proximation of a dumpster, with my pants on my ankles.

Good times.



Tsiiki
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 242

23 Oct 2010, 5:12 pm

Friendship first... then clearly communicating it. I wouldn't start dating someone if I didn't know them first... so sorta has to be a friend beforehand for me (doesnt have to be the BEST friend, but someone who I know a decent bit about, and not just that they're over 6' and brunette and in midtwenties xD). But then I'd prefer (given some time of course for them to get to know me, and me them) them to explain it clearly...

No trying to sneak closer and closer and closer and trying to touching and stuff without explicitly stating that they are interested and want to date. (Current friendship/dudeIlike is just a friendship now, and unsure whether or not he likes me... but he's not trying to sneak closer and making assumptions like someone did earlier, he's keeping it neutral for now, which is fine~)



Kady93
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 59

23 Oct 2010, 7:08 pm

I just want him to be himself. I do want him to be nice and polite when he does it, but most of all I want him to be himself.



happymusic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,165
Location: still in ninja land

23 Oct 2010, 7:22 pm

Something very clear like "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime. Dinner maybe?"

That's clear yet polite.