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Last edited by smudge on 17 Sep 2011, 5:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not sure I understand. What incentive would this man have to remain "loyal" to you?

I think it's possible to find these relationships, I just don't think they last very long. If you're okay with that, then that's fine. Me, I hate having to go out and do it all over again and again and again.

even though its no strings attached, there is still etiquette involved.

I would think that one person will eventually develop feelings or move on with someone else. It just doesn't seem likely to last.

One advantage of short term serial monogamy is that you get the high frequency pair bonding sex up front, and then move on before things slow down sexually. I was never very good at that though. The ultimate example of that would be George Clooney.

I think you just described 90%+ of relationships, whether the involved parties admit it or not...

+1
I'd like a friendship with shared intimacy and companionship, someone to have fun and travel with but without the peer pressure of getting married, having kids and having high expectations, someone who respects that I need space, that appreciates the fact I'd rather be studying, working out, watching movies, playing video games or listening to my headphones in my own little world rather than socializing and worrying about pointless dramas, peer pressure and small talk. I have a difficult time letting people in and when they do get close or become needy or clingy, I usually detach from them. People are generally offended when I refuse to make time for them because I'm keeping to a routine or want my own space.

Its not as great as you would think it always ends bad

Friendship + sex + exclusivity?
I'm not sure how this differs from a romantic relationship,
or at least what would inspire these three things in conjunction if not romantic feelings?

nothing wrong with that, as long as the other party sees it this way too, and you both agree on the "terms and conditions"

might be hard to find though. I have no ideas as to how you should go about it. but I wish you the best of luck.

I wouldn't mind it, but i realized that friendship with benefits only works with males who are highly physically desired (the vanilla of the vanilla looker guys), because this is basically the most important attribute in the girl's mind who is seeking for a such very short-termed fling, even with a far more emphasis on looks than when she'd do when seeking for a normal relationship (of course besides him not being a psycho or dangerous in any way).

So it's not for regular-looking guys.

Correct me if I am mistaken.

you're wrong. what matters in friends with benefits situations is: 1. maturity (i.e. not creating drama, keeping ones emotions at bay, being rational and discreet) 2. skillz!

decent looks are a factor but not as much as you'd think - handsome guys don't really need friends with benefits anyway, they can pull anytime! regular-looking guys are perfect for this position - they don't compel one to fall head over heels, they're equally bored and have equally little field of maneuver. feel free to apply!

j/k

I don't think there's that horrible shortage of mature and sexually-experienced handsome guys in the world. A mature experienced handsome man will always be picked instead of a mature experienced regular man because other attributes like all aspects of personality, interests, intellects, job, status ...wouldn't matter in that kind of relationship, let alone the fact that many guys here are zero-experienced or might even look less than average/cool to the mainstream population.

After all, the main goal of this kind of relationship is sex, it's mainly physically-based.

You guys raise an interesting point. I wonder if "handsomeness" is selected as a proxy for "experience" because of course you can't know true "experience" until you get them into the sack. It may be a sort of bias that is incorrect or at least inconsistent.

Not to mention that the more handsome/hotter the guy is, the more likely he's more experienced. Maybe it's not the case for aspie guys, but for NT guys it's often the case.

I think it is less important what people look like in FBW than in relationships. With FWB it is about getting a *ahem* need fulfilled and all people need is the right equipment. Whereas in finding a relationship you are looking for a large amount of chemistry not normally found.

if you need a car, you would buy the car that you are capable to afford and maintain.

but if you were offered to drive any car from the exhibition for 1 day or a week for free or very cheap investment, you would pick the fanciest car to drive it.