Aspie female dating NT male... Communication nonexistent.

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I've been dating a neurotypical for about two weeks now... I usually wouldn't bother trying to get advice from my fellow aspies for something this new and seemingly unimportant, but I really like this guy and I'd like to find a solution.
I'm what you'd call a "baby" Aspie... In the sense that I'm the type to shut down in intense conversation, and be so emotionally affected I can't see straight. I'm also very, very sensitive. This is where the problems start-- For me, at least.

A quick background on the guy... His name is Brian, he's a 24 year old mechanic/studying to become a psychologist. He reads a lot of books on psychology of conversation (when I say a lot... I mean a lot . He teaches his friends how to pick up chicks with it. Not as bad as it sounds.. >.<). He knows how to manipulate a conversation to go really well, and this has caused him to be too critical of me and my shortcomings. He's lately been telling me about what I do wrong with his friends and I've been feeling belittled. We're both very hardheaded, so finding middle ground is hardly possible, if at all.

He tells me I'm too sensitive and that he's afraid to tell me things for fear of putting me off, with that I know not what to do., I am sensitive, maybe a bit too much and about the wrong things. But I don't know how to move passed it; when to let things go, and when they deem an emotional response.

I'm just wondering if any AS women or NT men dating an aspie could lend me some words of advice/encouragement?
Thank you!

Does He know about your AS? You been seeing Him for 2 weeks. Maybe if He knew about it, He would be more understanding. Escpeciallily if He is studying psyc..

I know when I really like someone, I would tell them about my AS so they could understand me better.

It's over, move on.

He knows about it.. I told him within the first few days, I felt really strongly for him so I told him immediately.

It sounds to me like he may see you as a psychology project & is trying to fix your issues instead of accepting you the way you are

I've asked him to help me get along better in social situations.. He has been taking it too far with his friends, and he sees that.

Learn as much as you can, because this is not the guy you'll end up with.

Agreed with the above ^

If he is studying psychology, and really is a bookworm about them, then give him some books of Aspergers, and Aspie women? Maybe that will help him understand.

But if all he is doing is directing you, then he isn't right for you. A relationship isn't supposed to be a class.

You need to talk to him about this, and see if he can stop.

When I started dating my husband, he'd give me lots of advice on how to behave. We fought about this frequently, and then we put a hard limit of three pieces of advice on behavior every day. That helped a lot.

It also helped when I explained that a lot of things that seemed unacceptable- like ducking out of parties after half an hour- were actually clever adaptations to avoid becoming absolutely miserable. Now that we talk about how important various things are- and now that he knows me a lot better- we can compromise.

My husband is a spectrum friend, so this might not work so well with an NT.

I just don't see why I can't end up with this guy? We share a lot of like interests and opinions about life in general. We get along perfectly.. but arguments are our only weakness. I feel like if I could somehow meet him in the middle and find a way to sift through all of my emotions we could make this a great and long-lasting relationship.

Although you may have mutual agreements and interests, and have fun with him, it does not mean it's the perfect relationship.

If the relationship seems stressful, and more like work rather than a relationship, I suggest taking a break from it if you cannot work things out, then make your final decision.

If I were in your position, and all the person wanted to do was lecture me, I would have lost it and ran out the door very quickly.

Max, I definitely agree, the relationship did start to feel like a task, and we are taking a break. That's mostly why I'm asking for advice, I'm trying to see a way out of this negative place we've ended up and trying to find a way back to the way things were when we began.

Believe me, I've wanted to run away, but I really like this guy! I'm the type of person to easily become emotionally disconnected, but I'm trying my best not to this time.

I understand.

I think you should have a long discussion about it with him, and tell him why it upsets you, annoys you, irritates you, etc. After that, ask him to stop, and make him promise. Tell him why its bad for the relationship, and that you love him, but want him to stop. Have him understand that you know you have flaws, and are trying your best to improve, but don't want to be lectured about it all the time.

If he agrees, but he doesn't do it, or you see him all crazy trying to restrain himself from lecturing you, then it's best to end the relationship.

It's not really healthy to be dating someone who's trying to be your parent. He may be attractive to you, and awesome, but if he is putting his "parent" hat everytime your together, then it's just not going to work out.