Dating for me ends in failure

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I have tried so many times at the hole dating thing and it always ends in a mess and me becoming so depress.
I gave up on it outright, now I am seeking to be a pet/slave as I can't live on my own and I feel it's only thing I can do, to care for someone who in turn is happy and who can provide the basic place to live and kindness in return for me pleasing them.

I also gave up on fighitng for SSI and such, waste of time, thus now all that is left is to sign my life away to someone who can help me and in return I serve them. Doubt anyone here is interested in such things, but it's something I am listing my self in other places.

Dating ends in failure for most people - they just move on the the next person

OK, I guess what I mean is not the strict term of dating, I get beyond that but after moving in with the person and abut a month to several months they end up being completely rude and mistreat me and I end up leaving or they dump me and say get out. So it's beyond dating but not the same as marriage, I always consider it being mates.

ahhh that is about boundaries. Generally people push them and disrespect you if you dont push back

I think its a very different beast to being mates though

I hope you dont expect any good advice from this lot
We are all aspies

Thats a tad insulting.

But I'm male so I cant help too much with female to male dating

Time to be a bit more assertive in setting your boundaries, I know there are a few books to help with this topic. Maybe you aren't building enough mutual respect before moving in with them? If you find someone who can understand you, it will have a far better chance of working out.

As for a matter of your personal preference towards being dominant or submissive, that's down to you. Some women like dominance, some prefer to be in control and some prefer equality in a relationship. In any case, you need to find someone who knows how to treat you properly whether it's in a bondage relationship or a white picket fence one.

That's what you get for trying to date holes instead of people!


Just trying to give you a little grin to ease the pain and frustration... I know you meant Whole - but just in case;
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MASUR7Oq7U[/youtube]

Work on getting your own place to live and being self-reliant... I don't think many people find it appealing for someone to want to trade love/sex for a free place to live.

a lot of people would regard it as humour
sorry you feel insulted
but that aint my bag
also its true!
[but doesnt have to be.....]

I am totally not assertive though I can hardly even imagine being such.
Why I seek a Mistress or Master is because I need "positive reinforcement" as my therapist said, someone who loves me in some form but not so much as a mate and who can give me direction and guidance in day to day life as I can not sit around doing nothing as it leads me to feeling alone and not knowing what to do but yet wanting to do something and if I happen to be with someone at the time and not on my own (not that I am fully ever on my own) I can start to feel abandoned and I go from Dysthymia to more major depression while in that state.

So I need someone who genuinely cares and doesn't want me around just for sex (which sadly I gotten my self into so many situations like that) and someone who is stern but yet is respectful of how I am and who can back away when I get flustered knowing to give me space so not to have me go full melt down, but who can also have the knowledge of what a melt down is and not be offended by anything I might yell or do if it gets that far, mainly I want to avoid getting that far, I nearly became homeless in December due to a melt down situation.

See it's hard for me as I was borderline Autistic but yet high IQ and considered moderately severe AS but now am considered mild Autistic due to the changes of the DSM, so maybe that can help explain better how I am. I am smart in maybe 2 places and can feed my self but the slightest bit of socializing actually makes me sick to my stumach and also annoyed or even upset or frustrated, I have hard time understanding people and they do with me as well and it often leads to arguments and stuff so I mainly stay in my room all day and night avoiding everyone in general, heck even as I type this it is creating anxiety, but I also have severe GAD.

Yet due to whatever it is, chemistry or what have you, medications in the past have made me worse, suicidal or completely useless drone unable to barely think, can barely think already clearly as it is, doctors I talk to suggest staying away from medication and instead meditate as it has been only thing that works to any degree and it is not much. I'm basically harmless when I don't have a melt down going on.

Right now I feel scared, helpless and alone, not suicidal but I guess can't wait for death to come, it's kinda an odd state really and I don't really understand it, but I kinda get this way when not with someone in a caring relationship, heck it could be as simple as having a parent type figure, no sex or anything and I'd be so much better. I'm not clingy but I guess maybe slightly needy? I need to be with someone of authority who cares about me but who also respects me as a human being and doesn't just bark order, that is best I can explain it.

I can NOT live on my own, trust me with that nor do I even want to attempt it again.
I don't want a free place to live, I have that now, I want more than that, I need more than that, even therapists agree that it is not best for me to live on my own.

Good gravy - why not? What's preventing you from independence and self-reliance?

Some people are disabled enough by their AS that they can't live independently.
It's not always just a matter of social awkwardness.

All I would have to say to you OP is that not all is a failure unless you keep repeating the same mistakes without learning anything. Take a good look at what you have learned from your experiences first and really assess whether you have failed or not.

Good point... it must be pretty serious. Of course... what gal would want to be more of a mommy-figure than a lover?
Your thoughts on that while we wait for the OP?

I wouldn't necessarily see it as being more of a mummy-figure.
If I was in a relationship with someone who was disabled enough that they couldn't live independently, and I was out working, I'd just see it as each person doing what they can. There's more to a relationship than what each person contributes to the finances.