Do want a relationship, or want to not want one?

Post Reply New Topic

I definitely want to not want one, after years of discovering what makes me happy. And I've found that the only reason "I want" to have a relationship is that I'm programmed to want that. But, because of all the problems my relationships have caused me, I would simply remove my relationship desire (and only that) if I could. Don't say castration, because that changes a person's ENTIRE personality, and I definitely don't need or want that! But, if I could eliminate in myself only the desire for a romantic relationship, I would be a much happier person I think.

I find that my hormones "annoy me toward" relationships -- it's a thoughtless force, rather than a well-reasoning one. Does anyone else feel intellectually at odds with their hormones?

i would say that i want a relationship... i could live without one i guess (ive been doing that all of my 24 years on this earth), but i feel that as it is the relationships we have with people that make our lives what they are... to eliminate the possibility of one area lowers your quality of life overall...

They are not for everybody.

I voted NOT, but actually if one comes along i don't mind.

My priority list is as follows, you will see relationships on the bottom.

A) Pay off mortgage.
B) Finish college.
C) Obtain high-paying job.
D) Secure retirement.
E) Obtain new and better home and car.
F) Find the time and money to obtain even more college education.
G) Obtain spouse and children.

I've been working on it for quite a while. I have decided to model my life after the American dream, so to speak. I believe this will be a good way to go.

I think an "off" switch would be great.

I crave that "rush", someone to accept me for who I am, the warmth...but in the long-term reality...relationships for me have always equaled "stress" or "pain" (in an emotional sense)...and many times you find someones concept of "space" is not your concept of "space". You just can't say..."okay...I really can't deal with this togetherness stuff today...can you just please go away and leave me alone until tomorrow?" without it becoming a major issue.

It's like the mouse that craves cheese but keeps getting zapped by some evil scientist every time he touches it...eventually he sees the cheese sitting there and he won't go near it because he associates it now as being "bad"...but he sits there looking at it in the corner...and you know he still wants it.

I'm starting to feel not so sure that I want to be in a romantic relationship.

Just think how happy you will be when you can over come "all" desire.It is the root of all human suffering(along with attachment).As Buddha would say..."No gain,no pain".

I spent about 7 years in relationship limbo.Not persueing and feeling OK about life....that was along way to travel for someone who based a lot of their self worth on having a boyfriend....they were the only friends I ever had,so it was also a matter of giving up all relationships with people.Seems the only people who could tolerate my existence were the ones I happened to be having sex with(I'm sure that was just a coincidence,lol)......After the much needed sabatical,I decided to reach out again for a relationship/friendship but based on my rules this time.Take me as I am because I am not desperate and will do just fine without you.It seemed to work.I found someone I have been with over 4 years,my longest relationship by 3 years.It's got its plusses and minuses,but over all I came out ahead.

I'm indifferent about it, really. My body's says "PROCREATE, b***h", but I have enough willpower, intellect, and self-control to make those urges shut up and make me a sammich, figuratively speaking. If I happen to be in one, great. If not, no loss on my part. That's just means more money to spend on myself.

I wish that I didn't romantically love. I only get hurt.


-SpaceCase

I would like to be in a relationship, but would not want to feel engulfed nor distanced, so it is kind of complicated. I tend to run scared when things get too constantly intense, yet I like a certain amount of intensity and affection etc. My problem is I tend to take things very seriously when it comes to relationships and have set myself this sort of, it has to be THE one standard...in other words, I have to feel very drawn to the person on a deep level to consider.

Well, we'll have to see won't we? I've never been in a relationship yet. If one comes along then great. If it doesn't happen then that's fine too. I'd be much more content being by myself and reasonably happy than with a woman who is a nightmare to be around. I have standards and I'm not too desperate.

I very much would want one. Even if it ended badly, there would still be good memories. And I hate it that I'm 19 and have never been out on a single friggin' date before. It's just depressing.