Compliments are bad when given to women? Article

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http://www.boredpanda.com/agree-with-me ... sta/?cid=1

This confuses me. So complimenting a woman's hair is bad? People spend time on their hair or clothes they wore. Meanwhile it's also bad if you don't compliment as other women then feel ugly or non attractive.

I don't see how anyone ever gets together given feminism stuff like this and more.
I was always told to compliment a woman on her hair or certain clothes or shoes.

I get being like nice rack would be offensive but being your hair looks nice today 0.o

Starting to really understand why men are confused and say women don't know what they want.

Stuff like this makes me more terrified to try start conversations with women in rl and why I stick to online dating

It is ok only if you are a woman or hot.

The responses she posted are so weird, obviously picked two as screenshots out of hundreds to make a good drama story. "Boohooo men are so mean when I show how much I confident and love myself, men are sexist who want weak women"

The compliments given weren't genuine and the men back-pedalled pretty quickly when they were called out on their lies.

You should never compliment a woman because you think you have to.
You compliment when she knocks your socks off - figuratively speaking.

i've most often noticed that some guys seem to think that women are bitchy if they don't appreciate compliments.
agreed with raleigh on genuine compliments.

but i have never received a bad response after saying some variant of thanks regardless of their intention with the compliment. i have received plenty of sexually demeaning compliments, compliments with ulterior motives, and compulsory compliments, though.

just the other day i was given a hat at work and a coworker said it looked really good on me, to which i naturally replied, "i know". he cracked up and said that was the best response ever.
it's just one of those things...i know i look great in hats.

Says something about the character of the men in those texts when they retracted the compliment.
It's a bit difficult to tell if they're being rude or joking.

Good to know all men think exactly the same. Sometimes I forget I'm not an individual so it's nice to get reminded of that.

Authentic comments are always good.

Think of it this way: The kind of woman who takes compliments well=decent human being. The woman who can't take compliments=not datable material for you.

It really is that simple. I don't put much stock in the foaming-at-the-mouth type of feminist narrative (no, not ALL feminists are like that, nor is that even the only feminist narrative out there). It seems to me we're choosing to believe only the meanest, nastiest, LOUDEST narrative that portrays ALL men negatively.

Ignore them.

If a woman can take a well-intentioned and APPROPRIATE compliment, that is an early sign she MIGHT (but not necessarily) be someone you could at least be good friends with.

Personally, I tend to be fairly reserved with compliments. In education, a male teacher complimenting a female student might be seen as grossly inappropriate. "Congrats on coming in 1st at the 5000 meter" is ok. "I really like what you did with your hair today" might be pushing it.

With friends and co-workers you are well-acquainted with, you can get away with a bit more, maybe even some subtle flirting. Make sure you CAN, though. I once cracked a joke and almost lost my job. When I got called in to see the boss, I made sure someone else went with me. Not my first trip to the "principal's office," but my coworkers have a nasty habit of ambushing me.

Now, if we're talking public places and situations were socializing is expected, there really aren't any "rules." You know the difference between inappropriate and appropriate language. In practice you'll generally get a more positive response to genuine compliments than negative.

I believe this happens because of an unacknowledged power dynamic. The men who responded badly almost certainly hold themselves superior to women, whether consciously or not. They would give the same response to men whom they consider their inferiors, or worse, if they got the same response. How do I know? I've felt manipulated by arrogant jerks who tried this same nonsense. They expect to put people in their debt, or have people start to care about what they think, and when the program doesn't work like it should they get angry.

Here's how I put it, years ago: Arrogance consists of repeating the nice things other people say about you.

However, among people who consider themselves equal in power, the compliments don't have an ulterior motive, and the experiment comes across as a joke.

I do see a feminist component here, in that lots of men want to find a beautiful woman who isn't aware of her beauty, without noticing that would require significantly low self-esteem. It creates a lot of cognitive dissonance, wanting other people to have low self-esteem, but it seems most people would rather just refuse to think about their philosophical inconsistencies, and blindly follow the power-seeking parts of their personality.

I don't like compliments (neither giving nor receiving them), and I basically never give them either. If a woman wants compliments from me, she is not relationship material.

So I'll rewrite the claim by AngelRho:
Think of it this way: The kind of woman who takes compliments well=avoid like the plague. The woman who can't take compliments=interesting and datable.

I don't get it, I think the author of that just has way too much time on their hands. If I get a compliment I usually smile and say thanks or thank you. I've always been under the impression that it's kind of rude to say something like 'yeah I know...or thanks me to. I mean for one they probably already know you don't dislike the thing they are complimenting so comes off as condescending or if not condescending at least very redundant. Basically it is unneeded information. I imagine if she tried this experiment when another woman gives her a compliment they might be a little bothered to.

However I would point out some of the 'compliments' weren't really compliments...'I like your body or nice body' probably are not good examples of a genuine compliment unless its like from your boyfriend or someone you're actually intimate enough with that they'd have seen you with no clothes. But with the one where the guy said they love her hair, I don't see the problem with that one so no need to add a cheeky 'I do to' as if they didn't know that. This would be better if it was how to respond to rude compliments not any compliment from a male.