People Skills: What Do Women Want?

Post Reply New Topic

I discovered the "People Skills Decoded" website a few years back, and have been using it as a resource for personal development. I thought I'd post this summary of one particular article to see if (1) Anyone would read it, (2) Anyone would like it, and (3) Anyone would start using what it teaches.

The full article can be found here. Enjoy!

What Do Women Want In a Man?

Women truly want and react emotionally strongly to these traits:

1) Confidence: By far, one of the most attractive traits you can have. The men that I know who are very successful with women are very different, but the one quality they noticeably have in common is a high dose of confidence.

2) Masculine Energy: What you convey when you manifest ... a wide range of characteristics that are generally masculine: decisiveness, dominance (not the same as aggressiveness), firm voice tone, strong eye contact, seeking challenge, having clear goals and ambitions in life, perseverance, practical thinking, being protective, achieving status, and so on.

3) Good Social Skills: If you look during social interactions at the guys women react very well to (they flirt with them, they seek their attention, they ‘eye-fuck' them) these guys will demonstrate some class of sharp social skills. Maybe they are funny or they are very fluent verbally. Maybe they are charismatic or they know how to make a girl feel special. Maybe they are good listeners or mesmerizing story tellers. Or maybe they have a mix of these qualities.

4) An Interesting Lifestyle: The key is to not be just another guy who goes to a boring 9 to 5 job, then watches TV and plays computer games all day long. Too many guys are like that ... You don't need to have a James Bond lifestyle either, but it does prove tremendously helpful if there are just a few elements in your life that make it unordinary, above average and exciting. They make it interesting and then women feel the natural urge to be a part of it, and to be with you.


But what about money, looks and fame?

These things do help, but not having them is definitely not a deal breaker, at least not with the vast majority of women, because while there are limits to how much you can improve your looks and few people will ever become millionaires, becoming more confident, masculine, and skilled socially, and gaining a more interesting lifestyle are within your reach.

About the Author: Eduard Ezeanu is a confidence and communication coach, and People Skills Decoded is his blog. He earned a B.A. in Psychology in 2006. In 2007, he founded his own company, "Social Arts".

I can't speak for all women (and i do notice a certain tendency over here to categorise the female gender as a single conceptual unit) but personally I would add that being with someone who has similar interests / shares similar values / ambitions as me is more important. confidence is cool, it's certainly attractive (to anyone btw, not just women) but the guy doesn't need to be cocky or full of himself, just be confident in who he is. but again, men like women who are confident in their skin too so it's just a trait that *humans* find attractive I believe.

Reading through that, I'm sure glad not all women are the same or I wouldn't have stood a chance with my wife since I have few of those traits!

I don't regard myself as meek, but if confidence is also known as cockyness, cocksure, etc. Instant turn off to my wife.

The colored and bold texts remind me of those phony pua ads.

I’m a woman and am not impressed with that list. Those, for the most part, aren’t things that I would be particularly attracted to.

I don’t think it’s really helpful to group all women together like that. Even if most women are turned on by these things, a huge number of women won’t be.

What women want:

To be treated like actual human beings and individuals instead of members of a collective hive mind that, apparently, has the reasoning skills of a vervet monkey.

Thanks.

You could argue that this is also what men want (with the obvious exception of the 'masculine energy' part.) They all indicate an interesting and emotionally healthy human being.

And yes, as XFilesGeek also mentioned, the ability to talk to women as if we were human beings and not some mysterious alien being with boobs. That's always a positive.

I'm surprised humour isn't in there unless it's in the full article.

My ‘eye-fuck' skills are s**t hot



I just read funny in social skills

I know it doesn't say "all women want" but when it says "women want", that sounds like "all women want". If the author has the stats then they can say something like "most women want" or "the average woman wants", but articles that make it sound like *everyone* in a group has a quality is innacurate, misleading, and not fair on the outliers.

And a male ascerting that they know what "women truly want" just pisses me off. This style of writing seems typical of confidence coaches and the like. I imagine they tend to be optimists who either don't know what they don't know, or don't care about being misleading (because confidence is attractive, hah).

Like a very intelligent woman once said, show a little spark.

Yeah, you know who you are

SaveFerris is also right, humor is not on the list. I lack it though unfortunately



And dare we forget romance? As a hopeless romantic it's impossible to forget.

Women either want you or they don't.

For someone on the spectrum the article seems like masking which is only going to take it's toll on some.

There is no way on earth I could get a woman who was interested in the above qualities as I don't have them , I can fake it for a bit but it's not me.

Luckily I am in a long term relationship with someone who loves me for what I am although she said I am unlike any other man she has met and she wishes I wasn't so suicidal and depressed.

Remember kids, "masculine energy" (???) is more important than looks, money and fame.

I'm very lucky & thankful that my girlfriend was not looking for those things cuz I have none of them.

The description looks to fit a slightly assholish kind of guy. I know women that go for that.