Continue or abandon marriage and parenting goal?

Page 1 of 2 [ 28 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next


Continue or abandon marriage/motherhood goal?
Continue!! ! 18%  18%  [ 2 ]
Call it quits!! ! 82%  82%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 11

Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,079
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

27 Jan 2026, 3:06 am

Now that David is out of my life, what should I do about my goal?

Should I start over and date another man so I can reach marriage?

Or abandon the goal completely to focus on creative projects instead?

Please help me

Thanks in advance!! !



AroDweeb64
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2026
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33
Location: St Louis Missouri

27 Jan 2026, 11:27 am

If you are in America marriage is a scam especially for men. I wouldn't bother.



Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,669
Location: Houston, Texas

27 Jan 2026, 11:59 am

Only if it's what *you* want.

I still want a non-marriage relationship, though I've given up on parenting.


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,202
Location: Right over your left shoulder

27 Jan 2026, 4:09 pm

Abandon it for as long as you think of it as part of a required checklist.


_________________
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.
If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,645
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

28 Jan 2026, 4:45 am

If you still have a desire for male companionship (which I wouldn't know) then could you act on that desire without committing to marriage and motherhood?


_________________
My WP story


Tamaya
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 May 2025
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,643
Location: England

28 Jan 2026, 6:18 am

You're too obsessed with marriage. Most couples don't get married these days. Plus it is expensive, even if you go for a very low-budget wedding, you're still looking at £300-£500. It's what I did anyway. So if you find someone else then just date them, you don't need to keep obsessing over marriage unless he proposes to you.


_________________
My diagnosis story and why it was a traumatic experience for me:
viewtopic.php?f=35&t=416910&start=1056#p9695026

Please notify me if there's a spelling mistake or an obvious autocorrect error in my posts.


Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,079
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

28 Jan 2026, 6:27 pm

^Only because I want the experience of being married, just to know what it's like

It's no different than in SpongeBob SquarePants episode "The Algae's Always Greener" where Plankton decides to switch lives with Mr. Krabs so he can experience working at the Krusty Krab

However, without David my marriage desire kinda stopped!! !

I'm not so sure if I still want it...



Last edited by Mikurotoro92 on 28 Jan 2026, 6:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tamaya
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 May 2025
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,643
Location: England

28 Jan 2026, 6:28 pm

Quote:
Only because I want the experience of being married, just to know what it's like


Ah okay.


_________________
My diagnosis story and why it was a traumatic experience for me:
viewtopic.php?f=35&t=416910&start=1056#p9695026

Please notify me if there's a spelling mistake or an obvious autocorrect error in my posts.


CapedOwl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2025
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 546

28 Jan 2026, 8:48 pm

It seems that you have a few "special interests":
- Spongebob
- composing chiptunes
- marriage
- children
Any others?


_________________
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced." - Soren Kierkegaard


Canadian Freedom Lover
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Dec 2022
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 634
Location: Vancouver Canada

28 Jan 2026, 9:47 pm

I think you are in love with the idea of getting married and having kids, as opposed to actually wanting it. I think you should step back from your goal of marriage and children and reflect on if you actually want it, and more importantly if you are capable of pursuing those goals.



Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,079
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom

29 Jan 2026, 12:46 am

Canadian Freedom Lover wrote:
I think you are in love with the idea of getting married and having kids, as opposed to actually wanting it. I think you should step back from your goal of marriage and children and reflect on if you actually want it, and more importantly if you are capable of pursuing those goals.


What?!?

Actually...you might be right @Canadian Freedom Lover!! !

My relationships haven't been working out and I am not sure if I want to continue doing dating and all of this just to FINALLY reach the goal of marriage!

I came very close to achieving the goal with David but struck out near the end

This is what I get for dating a man who was incredibly sick and was basically a ticking time bomb...



Last edited by Mikurotoro92 on 29 Jan 2026, 1:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

enz
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Sep 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,594

29 Jan 2026, 12:53 am

I think it should be your goal when/if you love someone and only then. Don't get married or have kids to tick a box.
By all means meet people and get to know them though and get out there



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1935
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,130
Location: wales

30 Jan 2026, 10:00 am

If i was you, i would take a step away from marriage and parenting and focus entirely on yourself and setting achievable goals that'll set you on the path to independance.

Becoming a parent in particular requires independence that I think you haven't quite reached yet. Sorting out your own financial and housing needs without support, and even the possibility of learning to drive will be hugely beneficial to you



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

31 Jan 2026, 7:04 am

The fact that you have to ask us is a strong indication that you are not ready for it.



Texasmoneyman300
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,610
Location: Texas

31 Jan 2026, 7:47 am

I think if there is any doubt you should not do it.



UncannyDanny
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Nov 2014
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,235
Location: Middle-Earth

06 Feb 2026, 10:58 pm

Marriage is overrated. Simply obsessing over it will get you nowhere. The more you keep wanting it, the less likely it'll happen. Focus on other things you want to do, finding true love will come later.


_________________
Please be respectful, I'm kakologophobic (fear of swearing, namely the strong ones)