I am COMPLETELY confused!! !

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Joined: 7 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 257

23 Jan 2008, 3:30 pm

I met a girl at an airport 2 months ago, and we went on a couple of dates, and we both had a really great time together. We made-out quite passionately, just one tiny notch away from ripping each others clothes off, but then me and her and some of my friends and some of her friends went to a bar one night and it kind of turned into us being split into two different groups (me and my friends and her and her friends sitting in two different parts of the bar). It was a bit awkward and I didn't really know what to think of it.

This was a month ago now, and we maintained contact afterwards, and she kept saying that she wanted to get together again, but we seemed to keep having scheduling problems, because she is on-call and doesn't always know when she'll be working until the last minute. After two weeks of that, she went on a two week vacation, and we didn't communicate at all over that two weeks, but as soon as she got back on Sunday, she sent me a text message telling me that she was back. We chatted a bit via text messages and then I sent her a message yesterday, and now I think she is completely ignoring me!

It seems like she is just stringing me along for an ego boost or something. It seems like she is maintaining just enough contact to keep me as a backup option or something, because she isn't putting any effort into squeezing me into her crazy schedule and now I am just completely confused as to what to make of it. Is she just keeping me strung along as an ego boost? Is she just keeping me there as a backup in case another guy doesn't work out for her?

WTF?!?!?!?!?! I have no idea what is going on with her. I do know one thing, though. I am never introducing girls to my friends and never going to meet a girl's friends again unless I already have a long-term solid connection with her.

the_incident
Raven
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23 Jan 2008, 5:00 pm

I couldn't tell you if she's jerking you around. You might never find out.

Some people have a ton of things going on in their lives. I dated a girl who was always running around with work and school and rarely had any free time, and it really frustrated me. I don't live for my career, and I always make sure that my friends and family come first in my life. Some people aren't like that and they want people to be available when they think it's convenient.

I don't think it makes her a bad person, but perhaps her lifestyle isn't compatible with yours.

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CityAsylum
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23 Jan 2008, 5:06 pm

LVBen wrote:

We chatted a bit via text messages and then I sent her a message yesterday, and now I think she is completely ignoring me!

Try asking her out to a restaurant or a bar again; if you try to pick up where you left off with the mad passionate stuff, that may be a problem. Sometimes you have to start over with the part that LED UP to the fun stuff, not at the part where you were reaching the clothes-ripping stage.

I know it may seem like a few steps backwards, but that is how it works with the ladies sometimes.

Tortuga
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23 Jan 2008, 7:17 pm

From what you described, it does sound like she's stringing you along. If you want to make absolute sure, you can ask her out one final time. If she waffles on it or backs out, then don't have any further contact with her.

GrantZilla
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Joined: 18 Jan 2008
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23 Jan 2008, 7:46 pm

I notice a lot of you guys put your eggs all in one basket. If your interested in dating people, you shouldn't just focus all your effors on one person. Not saying you have to sleep with everyone your dating. But the point of dating is meeting others of the opposit sex and perhaps finding one that best meshes with you for the long haul.

That is unless just want sex, and then point is to get into a woman's pants with as little work as possible.

But anyway, you shouldn't be this woman's lap dog and be at her beckoning call. You should be out dating other women. You'd be surprise how fast a woman get's her stuff together when there is compition.

Right now, she feels like she's in no rush to do anything, and she'll take her sweet time stringing you along, and she might not even committ to doing anything with you.

So I suggest go out and date other women, if she calls, be honest and tell her you are dating other women. How can she get mad at you when she herself hasn't committed to you or made a commitment to be with you.

LVBen
Toucan
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23 Jan 2008, 7:55 pm

GrantZilla wrote:

Obviously, you haven't read my other posts in this forum! I have a date with another girl in 1 hour! In no way am I putting all of my eggs in one basket. I was just really confused about this particular case and needed some help trying to figure out what is going on, because it really did seem like we had a great time together on those first two dates, and I just couldn't fully understand why a girl wouldn't want to continue what seemed to be going so well.

DuceXcreW
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23 Jan 2008, 10:20 pm

GrantZilla wrote:

I notice a lot of you guys put your eggs all in one basket.

Frankly I have no basket. I get an egg delivered to me about once a month. I have nothing else to do but to flirt with the egg. I don't necessarily expect a chicken to come out of it, but this method certainly requires little to no effort on my part. The good thing is this works.

Really crappy metaphor :lol:

Who_Am_I
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23 Jan 2008, 11:38 pm

It could be that she's stringing you along. She might also be genuinely busy, or perhaps not sure how she feels about you and in need of some space to think about it.

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Gamester
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24 Jan 2008, 2:00 am

Meh.

Something like that?

I wouldn't worry about it.

Since, the fact that you two almost had sex that intense time, she may be worried that you want something more, so that may be the one thing to think about.

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LVBen
Toucan
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24 Jan 2008, 2:47 am

Wow! She lost her cell phone and that is why she didn't respond to my message yesterday. I think some of you are right in that she actually is really busy with her hectic schedule. We sent a couple messages back and forth today and it seems like she is going to put in an effort to fit me into her schedule. Now I feel like an idiot for thinking she was stringing me along.

DuceXcreW
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24 Jan 2008, 9:10 am

glad to hear it sounds like it is working out

whenever it comes to relationships, time is your best indicator of what isgoing on. I.e. try not to get so paranoid over the courts of a day or two (not that I blame you, I probably would have also)

Wilco
Toucan
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24 Jan 2008, 1:52 pm

Never forget this: If a person doesn't love you the way you do it doesn't mean (s)he doesn't love you!

Dokken
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24 Jan 2008, 6:40 pm

LVBen wrote:

Now I feel like an idiot for thinking she was stringing me along.

I doubt she lost her cell phone. It's an excuse, and not a very good one. Specially, because that the type of stuff I will try to pull if I feel obligated to call someone but don't want to or is the girl is calling me too many times in one day.

Anyways, you appear to be a hip person and I doubt you have troubles meeting women.

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LVBen
Toucan
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24 Jan 2008, 8:41 pm

Dokken wrote:

LVBen wrote:

Now I feel like an idiot for thinking she was stringing me along.

She lost her cell phone. If I wasn't sure of it, I wouldn't written, "she said she lost her cell phone".

flailure
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