How to deal with unwanted attention?

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Be careful with that - say it to the wrong sort of man at the wrong time (I'm not on about your average "leering creep" but someone extremely dangerous) and it could really end badly. Most men will leave you alone, but a minority might just kick your head in.

Pepper spray is illegal for private citizens in most of the Northern European countries and in most of Australia and New Zealand.

hairspray is pretty good. got me out of some tough situations.

I wouldn't care about the harmless friendly guys as my care for my personal safety would come first. When you've been through something like meems has been through every guy you see in your daily life seems threatening. The good ones, the bad ones, the random ones. Even I'm sensitive to things like this due to being sexually harrassed in school years ago. Thankfully it's a rare occurrence.

It sucks to be painted with the same brush as the sleezes, but it sucks even more to be the victim of theirs in the first place. I don't think it's cool coming into a thread like this, with attention to meem's recent experience, and making it all about the indirectly downtrodden innocent men.

In actuality, you just have to think anyone can potentially be a jerk in this world. Even I can accept that I can be a jerk.
It may not be true but you can't say or think everyone is a nice person and sugarcoating everyone as people of both genders can be corrupt.
I'm not saying that anyone here is corrupt, only that there are people who are corrupt in this world.

Like I said, thinking that way is better than looking at everyone with rose-tinted glasses.

Sorry, Max, but I have to agree with the above post. When here it is better to think of the OP's position and negative experiences rather than applying an opinion based on one's own negative personal experiences.

meems love, I'm sorry to say you came to the wrong place for advice nothing useful can be learned from L&D

I'm beginning to accept that

Wear a shirt that says in big letters: LESBIAN

hopefully that will stop the men

Edited for clarity.

On the more serious note:

Pepper spray if possible and allowed there is a good idea.

Self defense lessons might also be a good idea, not simply for the practical side of it, but it may be one of the things that help you feel that you can protect yourself again, and hopefully help you recover a little bit faster. When you view everything as a threat (even temporarily), it help to be able to know that you can proctect yourself if necessary. It should also help your self confidence, which is going to need a bit of help right now.

Last edited by Kjas on 14 Oct 2012, 3:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Expect a guy to walk over wearing a t-shirt that says THREESOME?

That makes no rational sense, but I can see how it would happen, strangely. ^

I have a lesbian friend and a bisexual one, and even the lesbian friend gets asked about this. I am not sure why, either.

Because "lesbian" in pop-culture has been subverted by porn and the hookup/bar scene from a woman who is attracted to other women and not men into a stereotypically-attractive female who performs sex acts with other women for heterosexual male entertainment, and sometimes even referred to that plus the introduction of a male into the mix.

The same goes for bisexual women I think, even more so- the constant implication is that because they're attracted to both men and women that they engage in relationships with ONE OF EACH, and SIMULTANEOUSLY.

I'm already thankful it's not obvious I'm queer. My ex and I occasionally encountered a man or more than one man offering(I took it more as a threat) to do repulsive things to/with us. And we barely even held hands. in public because North Texas is like a queer bashing capital, where the cops are on the queer bashing side.

If I'm ever in the mood for unlimited sexual harassment I will totally get a "LESBIAN" shirt

Try giving them a murderous stare. I do it (mostly) unintentionally and it works. Strangers usually avoid me (unless I am using my other default expression: the ret*d half-smile. You can see it on my avatar pic).

Actually, since you are a woman, I am not sure if it would work. But it cannot hurt to try.