Interracial Dating and double standards

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So it seems that we've found the scientific basis for the "puffy white girls and white guys" syndrome! Excellent. Although, I've gotten some REALLY dirty looks from Asian men too.

Ford is very quickly annoyed I guess.

My little experience I had, was indeed strange.

Black guys would, cleverly, perhaps egotistically or maybe even confidently work on a way to sideline me and get her alone to talk to her. In this case, she being black but different culture, language etc. If we sat down at a restaurant, black waiters would direct all their questions at her. She would just smile and nod but then ask me what they said. Which I find funny. Yet I am the one that pays the bills. This kept on happening everywhere. In a particular province, white men would look at me, but ok, my surname and looks apparently is quite common, so I guess they saw a clone of me and thought...huh? I think white women just knew how to peer over at us but I never caught on to it. Sometimes white couples would just stand up and walk out of the restaurant.

Now for black women:
When I go into a shopping mall alone, then I would be treated, fairly decently. If the person at the till/counter saw me, they treated me nice with smiles and would greet me etc. However if she entered the shop with me, I get no such treatment, I can see my things being subtly thrown/shoved and they have this whole frowned attitude with me.

The new neighbour, a white guy whistled, which I never thought I would hear. He is a renter and the owner, a white woman suddenly started sending me e-mails and accusing me of things of water pipes leaking and causing damage to her property... blah blah. Almost felt like she was harassing me. Nothing came of it when the woman I was travelling with stopped living with me. Everything went dead quiet as per usual.

The white wife of a priest just gave me the stare down. (also a neighbour)

People don't say things any more, but it is still subtle and in their actions. They just wait for you to leave so that they can regroup and discuss.

The only good thing that came out of all of this is, they stop speaking outside of my window loudly.

^ The USA used to be like that, and is still more-so in some regions or neighborhoods than others. Gay couples certainly have it worse, though. At least there aren't a whole lot of preachers telling us that the 9-11 terrorist attacks and various hurricanes were God's punishment for inter-racial marriages.

About the waiters: According to old society rules, it was expected from the waiters, always to ask the woman first. So we dont live anymore in the last century, but most waiters simply still have it learned that way, and its a basic rule they do without thinking, just like serving food from the right side of the guest and so on.

If you've ever glanced at the headlines of grocery-store magazines, one of the major female buzzwords is "commitment": a chief complaint among single women is that men of their status (or higher) aren't interested in committing their lives to them.

They can't hook a man of their preferred status, and they see even their low-ranking reserves being depleted by the Filipina menace. And, their own expiration dates are fast approaching.

Very frustrating for them. Especially when their expectation is that you should be the one who is frustrated.

I don't recall Cafeaulait ever looked down on other races (?). Did I get this wrong.

Also, hello Fnord!

I am not sure, if I have the right translation of commitment, but commitment in the way I understand it, means sympathy, focusing on something. So if I am wrong, correct me, but if not, isnt sympathy and that your girlfriend sees you as an for her relevant person, whose emotions should be cared for, as well something you simply expect as something that is essential for an relationship? I dont want to be someones "sexy-wife dog" to pose, and as well I dont think that you want to be someones "carriere-husband dog" for her to pose, but expect me, that if I agree into an relationship with you, that I am really interested in the person that you simply are, not into external benefits you give me. So I want a real husband, that I share an emotional bond with, no status symbol, that I dont care for. And I think in the opposite it is quiet the same, so you would want as well someone showing real commitment for you, and not someone that thinks you are "right now in the situation good to have out of non emotional reasons".

And yes, from my oppinion, that is what marriage is about. Two people commiting their lifes to each other, swearing an oath before all for them relevant people as witnesses to take the commitment to care for each other serious. Not only when having a benefit from doing so (in good times), but as well when having no other benefit from doing so but the knowledge to care for someone I love. (in bad times)

Whats so wrong about expecting to receive from an human, what I offer that human as well?

If someone wants that commitment from me, but is not willing to give that commitment to me back as well, what reason should I have to share my time and emotions with someone, that is not interested in doing so, but only wants to exploit me on unequal terms. And why should I be unhappy about not sharing my life with someone, that isnt intersted in doing so anyway, because sharing means sharing all of your life. Not only as long as you have an external benefit from it?

I wonder if they've ever reached the conclusion that "dating down" would have resulted in a committed relationship with a man who was grateful for any affection he received ... ?

Naaah ... that could never happen.

I thought women were great! Why do these overly complex threads seem to always pop up?
It is simple,
1.man asks lady out.
1a. she says yes-treat her however she wants to be treated whilst you are entertaining her
1b. she says no-walk away not being a jerk
2. Girl asks guy out
2a. yes-yipee (it is bout time that guy never talks)
2b. (why?)no-hurt feelings, or anger or talks to a different guy
3.They go on first date
3a. doesn't work out
3b. the guy messes up and does something jerkish (happens alot)
3c. girl does something to mess it up (I doubt it happens, but it probably happens sometimes)
3d. They become boy friend and girl friend
~mysterious fog~ (No one will know unless 3d happens, and I haven't gotten very far myself)
5. They break up
~mysterious fog~ (I am not a fortune teller)
7. They get married

OK...maybe you misunderstood me. What I meant was my ex-GF reasoned with her friends and her family concerning me. We had a great relationship, but I think people would have reacted the same had I been the one breaking us up.

In America, if you ever read any love-advice column in a newspaper, or in a grocery-store magazine, it is usually chock full of advice for women on how to manipulate men into "committing" to them.

For example,

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and- ... commitment

So then why did you break up?

My ex-GF and I thought it was for the best.

So it wasn't because of race?

She grew tired of her family badgering her to break up with me as much as I was tired of her friends picking on me.