Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Why is dating so difficult?

Page 8 of 8 [ 125 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Previous topic | Next topic

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

25 Apr 2019, 6:04 pm

hurtloam wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Love is a lie!

People like me don't get to be loved. I am not enough. I will never be enough. I am too weird and broken and ugly.

I've got to just accept being single. I don't know how, but I don't think I can go through this again.

None of that is true, what happened?


I tried to send you a pm.
Can you please pm me and I'll reply.

I got it but it’ll probably be later tonight or tomorrow until I can reply. I need to mentally recover from work for longer more important replies. Short replies don’t need as much mentally
Hope that’s ok sorry if you felt ignored :(

Edit: just saw this wasn’t for me, I replied quickly while in line for food. Sorry again


_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die


Last edited by sly279 on 25 Apr 2019, 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

25 Apr 2019, 6:06 pm

sly279 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Love is a lie!

People like me don't get to be loved. I am not enough. I will never be enough. I am too weird and broken and ugly.

I've got to just accept being single. I don't know how, but I don't think I can go through this again.

None of that is true, what happened?


I tried to send you a pm.
Can you please pm me and I'll reply.

I got it but it’ll probably be later tonight or tomorrow until I can reply. I need to mentally recover from work for longer more important replies. Short replies don’t need as much mentally
Hope that’s ok sorry if you felt ignored :(


That's fine. I understand :)



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

25 Apr 2019, 10:25 pm

I don't think I can trust anyone again. Thats been a series of 3 guys, all with different temperaments and from different backgrounds who have messed me around.

No one knows what they want.



blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,465
Location: Sagittarius A

25 Apr 2019, 10:33 pm

:( My heart goes out to you, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I know it's not easy to hear right now, but there will be other guys, hopefully the next guy knows what he wants.


_________________
“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

25 Apr 2019, 10:49 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
:( My heart goes out to you, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I know it's not easy to hear right now, but there will be other guys, hopefully the next guy knows what he wants.


Pffft none of the ones I've met have so far. I don't believe you. Bet the next one just messes me round as well.

And there will be a next one because I have a big heart and love easily.

And I will just keep getting hurt because even though I say I don't believe in love a small part of me really does and will keep fighting for it against the odds.



blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,465
Location: Sagittarius A

25 Apr 2019, 11:07 pm

I will hold out hope that won't happen. :(


_________________
“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

25 Apr 2019, 11:23 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I don't think I can trust anyone again. Thats been a series of 3 guys, all with different temperaments and from different backgrounds who have messed me around.

No one knows what they want.

I’ve be used by far more then 3 women. Like they used me for free food or demanded sexual photos from me, dragged me on for weeks or months.
If I can keep going you can too. Give it few weeks and then get back on the horse
Hugs


_________________
There is no place for me in the world. I'm going into the wilderness, probably to die


The Grand Inquisitor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,785

25 Apr 2019, 11:34 pm

hurtloam wrote:
I don't think I can trust anyone again. Thats been a series of 3 guys, all with different temperaments and from different backgrounds who have messed me around.

No one knows what they want.

How many of those guys explicitly told you that they were interested? How many asked you out on a date and made it clear it was a date? How many outright verbalised that they were interested in you romantically?

If the answer is none, then maybe you should take any expressions of interest that you believe they've implicitly shown with a grain of salt. If someone's really interested in you, you won't have to do much interpreting



Dan82
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2019
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 185
Location: St. Paul Suburbs, Minnesota

26 Apr 2019, 12:53 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I don't think I can trust anyone again. Thats been a series of 3 guys, all with different temperaments and from different backgrounds who have messed me around.

No one knows what they want.

How many of those guys explicitly told you that they were interested? How many asked you out on a date and made it clear it was a date? How many outright verbalised that they were interested in you romantically?

If the answer is none, then maybe you should take any expressions of interest that you believe they've implicitly shown with a grain of salt. If someone's really interested in you, you won't have to do much interpreting


I wonder if putting a lot of energy into calling something romantic would make it feel too "official." I think usually it's just understood "this is a date, because it's a date-like scenario and I accepted to go with you."


_________________
Why don't YOU walk it?! Why don't YOU walk to Gun'ersville?!

PS You can visit my "Getting to know each other" page!


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

26 Apr 2019, 1:50 am

Dan82 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I don't think I can trust anyone again. Thats been a series of 3 guys, all with different temperaments and from different backgrounds who have messed me around.

No one knows what they want.

How many of those guys explicitly told you that they were interested? How many asked you out on a date and made it clear it was a date? How many outright verbalised that they were interested in you romantically?

If the answer is none, then maybe you should take any expressions of interest that you believe they've implicitly shown with a grain of salt. If someone's really interested in you, you won't have to do much interpreting


I wonder if putting a lot of energy into calling something romantic would make it feel too "official." I think usually it's just understood "this is a date, because it's a date-like scenario and I accepted to go with you."


Yes people are actually more subtle in the early stages. Or not so with body language. Cam be raging obvious body language.

I'm not in the mood to be judged right now anyway. I know what it was.



Antrax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,639
Location: west coast

26 Apr 2019, 4:28 am

hurtloam wrote:
blackicmenace wrote:
:( My heart goes out to you, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I know it's not easy to hear right now, but there will be other guys, hopefully the next guy knows what he wants.


Pffft none of the ones I've met have so far. I don't believe you. Bet the next one just messes me round as well.

And there will be a next one because I have a big heart and love easily.

And I will just keep getting hurt because even though I say I don't believe in love a small part of me really does and will keep fighting for it against the odds.


Perhaps I'm naive, but I believe with that attitude eventually it will work out for you. I truly believe there is somebody for everybody. Just harder for some people to find that somebody.

Sending virtual hugs. This must hurt right now, but the pain will pass.


_________________
"Ignorance may be bliss, but knowledge is power."


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,671
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

26 Apr 2019, 1:30 pm

Did he explicitly reject you?

I don't agree with Inquisitor that he may not realize that it was dating, I don't think the guy is that naive.

Usually when a girl wants to spend a lot of time with a guy as 1-to-1 = dating. And most guys realize that.



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,748
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

26 Apr 2019, 2:07 pm

I have the answer to.my original question. Dating is difficult when you are dating the wrong person.

I'm sure it's less stressful when you are both into each other and you have a good rapport and feel connected.

I have no idea who could put up with me, but maybe one day someone will a really like me for who I am and feel love for me.