Is "You'll find love one day" BS?

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Worded almost as if it were written by your avatar...

I continue to fail miserably with all my efforts

Yes I believe so a aspie can not make a relationship work for the same reasons the Chrysler/Daimler relationship failed and you can be certain the Fiat/ Chrysler marriage will end in doom.

Most of you like the good Teutonic workers of Munich have set the bar way way to high making your product inaccessible to most of the public.

The juvenile aspie men here want a hot lawyer/part time lingerie model as a GF the woman here a little better though to give them credit where credits dues (at least looks are not so important to them )

I say settle and why not according to Jeremy Clarkson (of Top Gear fame) Renault (Sport) offers 85 % of the thrill of a Porsche 911 at perhaps 1/5 the price .

Do you really need the Porsche....*

*Continue with the metaphors do Aspies really want to spend their 20's and 30's digging through the merde to get the Truffle when in all likely hood they'll end up with nothing . That time can be much better spent devoted to special interests and pets, actually I'm kinda sad and happy I suppose at the moment as I'm about to get off disability I wont be able to devote as much time to my pets their used to me being their nearly 100% of the time , I think I'll have to work nights (their birds so you can't play with them at night that would be cruel and they become rather grumpy if they don't get their 10 hours + hours sleep.

There are no guarantees in life so obviously the saying is false. Some kids are murdered without getting a first kiss, let alone love as an adult. That's the world. I knew a guy who died of cancer at 22 without finding love. I knew a girl who died at 28 in a business meeting without finding it.

But in general, many people who believe they will never find it do end up finding it. Ive found it several times and had it returned. Several times I embarrassed myself. The only regrets I have involve the times I didnt go for it.

No, it's true. However, it's whether or not you get to keep it that's in question. I've had love before but it was torn away from me by other who couldn't just leave us be.

The hard, cold fact is that yes, for many if not most Aspie men, it is BS. The reasons why have been covered extensively in this thread, but the quotes below I believe sum it up best:

The only people I know who still tell me this are my parents. It's been a couple years now since I've sworn off committed relationships, and whenever they tell me I'll find true love, I'm like, We've been having this conversation for well over a decade, nothing has or ever is going to change in this department. I think they just don't want to face the fact they will never have grandchildren.

I covered the topic of how and why relationships are impossible for some Aspies in another thread, but I'll restate my belief is that if this saying isn't BS for you, and you don't have various circumstances that completely prevent you from having a conventional relationship, you're not that far along the spectrum.

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Last edited by Daryl_Blonder on 16 Feb 2011, 10:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's exactly right. This is the best possible thing you can do. You need to stand in the firing line to get shot. And even a series of failed passes gives you experience.

I have made some disasterous passes in my life. Just embarrassingly sh*tty. Then I made slightly less sh*tty passes and so on. There is no question I was behind the curve but I fought my way up to making successful "active but odd" passes. Be funny and swing at the ball.

When I'm feeling down and the regrets of my life flash in front of my eyes. I've never regreted even the sh*ttiest pass. I laugh at them and I'm proud of my younger clueless self. The things I regret are when I didnt even try.

Last edited by simon_says on 16 Feb 2011, 10:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

it's something people say to soothe each other. it's no more a prediction than "i hope we don't get any more rain; my basement keeps flooding"

if you call something that cannot be taken literally but is meant to imply that someone cares BS, then it is BS.

edit: i didn't realize i'd interjected in one of those battle of the sexes / friend zone type conversations. that is BS for sure.

I think it's possible for everyone to find love one day, but I don't think everyone will. It's partially up to the person looking for a relationship, but also the people they come into contact with hold some responsibility and chance plays a part too. There's so many variables that sometimes people don't find what they want.

I think the "you'll find love one day" statement is true, but it comes with unwritten disclaimers: (1) it may not happen until you're 60 or older, or (2) you may have to lower your standards to make it happen, or (3) both.

This actually brings back a memory of a converstation I had with a therapist when I was 13. I was telling her how every guy my age is finding a girlfriend, and how I plan to get one in high school. So she told me this: "I think it's more likely that you'll get one in college, but she'll be a really great girlfriend". I didn't find that encouraging, but whatever. So fast-forward to my first year of college, after having no dates whatsoever in high school and part of my freshman year of college. By then, if you call lowering your standards "bottom-feeding", I was on the verge tasting the Earth's core. A great girlfriend has become a pipe dream; I was fine with any girlfriend.

And still, my therapist's prediction never came true. I didn't get my first relationship until 2007, two years after finishing college. However, I had my first kiss my junior year, at a party at a different school, and my first date shortly after after graduating (I met her online two weeks earlier).