nice guys?

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sorry honey, but im not sure if you read the convo before trying to hop on in. But you just tried to sneak onto a docking ship. We were talking about labeling and organizing things, cause last i checked people were things.

but thats fine if you're simply into it for the arguing. im sure I or someone else will be more than happy to get rid of that itch for you. Cant guarantee that lack of accepting other viewpoints will work very well though

nothing wrong with being equals!! !

not at all. its funny with all the things said around here about men and women that in reality we are exactly the same in nature.

this photo set x1000

Well, considering he is married and has a net worth of 14 billion usd and had a movie made after him i dont think hes doing that bad.

Are we? The thought of someone else "taking care" of me puts me in mind of rather being like their pet chihuahua. Maybe it's the semantics of that phrase, and if said in a different way, I'd be more open to the concept intended. I wouldn't mind being mutually supportive, although once I'm exhausted and tired of giving, I want them to go.

Based on what I've read here, I think I must be skewed when it comes to labeling. I think (see?) in terms of "person" or "non person". It isn't until another person does or says something that aligns them with a specific gender, that I really think about them in those terms. It could be because although I appear female, I feel gender neutral most of the time, and my gender alignment varies with activities in which I'm involved.

I guess I am a nice guy so I finish last so I need a good girl so I can win at last.

If we put all the threads ever posted on WrongPlanet related to nice guys (and Nice Guys (TM)) together from end to end, they'd reach from Earth to the moon.

True true

it's mostly because there are people who are saying all women want is an a**hole

and you've got other people saying that anyone whos ever been considered a "nice guy" is a manipulative lying horrible person.

Neither of these are true, but because there are a few people in the world that are infact examples of everything listed above. It makes it alot easier to throw punches than actualy try and understand why it is people have come to these false conclusions about the subjects.

Last edited by Zinnel on 18 Jul 2012, 11:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

At least there is a thread about it instead of that topic derailing other topics

Believe me it's not just on THIS site - the above opinion is thrown around regularly everywhere and anywhere males may ask for dating advice. The NT's typically believe this to be true and it seems to work (at least for the ones chasing for one night stands... ugh.)

Except that there's been so many threads of this nature that it derails the wide-scope of L&D into nothing but nice guy/"nice guy (TM)" threads

Theres many threads because its a constant debate. Its a debate that has existed since before wp was made. And it will outlast wp.

Who said this? I know I said "often". Which is nowhere near the same as what you are stating above. In fact, some guys do remain "nice guys" but I don't continue dating them for other reasons. Very recently, I set up a date with a guy who was nice. Then, the day before our scheduled date, his sixteen year old daughter (who'd been living with his brother for almost a year) decided to come home. She had been lying to her dad, and trying to cause a rift, so he told her he wasn't going to stand for it this time. I went ahead with the date, and when it seemed he was getting overwhelmed (based on a phone call during our date), I just told him to get back in touch with me when they had things squared away (a room for her, had her enrolled in school, etc). It never happened, she continued to get away with mayhem, and I didn't go out with him again because I didn't feel like dealing with the machinations of a sixteen year old girl, just to go out with a man I barely knew.

I'm glad you posted this. It was very interesting. I had never realized that there are so many guys who act so sh***y.

I think it is probably difficult to tell the difference between weirdo jerks like the guys you described in the first view posts and guys who are trying to be genuinely nice but just don't have the social skills. I realize after reading this that I acted similar to those guys (but never yelled at or threatened any girl, just followed/talked to them when they didn't want just because I didn't know any better). The first time I asked out a girl she told me she was, "busy" and it took me 4 months to figure out that that was a rejection, so I kept asking her periodically. I felt really awful after I figured it out, and I'm afraid now that she may have been really creeped out.

When you meet creepy guys like that I think you might try rejecting them explicitly. Maybe if you are really nice you could explain why. They are probably really clueless and bitter at how they've been treated. They don't understand what they do wrong so from their perspective girls are just jerks. I have only been rejected explicitly once (and I've gotten rejections from dozens of girls) and it was such a pleasure for it to be that simple that I kept hanging out with the girl over and over again so that she could keep rejecting me. I don't think I creeped this particular girl out. She didn't seem to take me seriously in any way.

I personally think it is very insulting to be given a BS excuse in place of a rejection, and I think a lot of guys probably feel the same way. I would honestly rather get slapped in the face. I would get very mad if I thought that girls realized this. You really should try explicit, but not cruel, rejection. Probably the next thing he will ask is, "why," and if you don't want to or can't explain it thoroughly then tell him that. If it doesn't work then you can go back to your usual method.

I think the way the original poster handled the situation with being kept from getting in the car was really admirable. It would really take balls to say that to his face if you felt physically threatened. This is kind of weird for me to think about because I have never felt physically threatened by any person.

and btw, I get really happy and silly when I'm drunk. I get really affectionate if I'm around people I like and I laugh at everything. Does that make me a good person? I'm withdrawn and sometimes grumpy when sober.

I'm a nice guy and I would say i've done pretty well, all this nice guys finish last is a load of paranoid bullcrap.