20 and still no boyfriend. What is the problem?

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Heidi80
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02 Oct 2012, 8:51 am

people with asperger mature socially a bit later than NTs. I was in my first relationship when I was 24. Just give it some time. Oh and try looking for a fellow aspie. AS_NT romantic match usually doesn't go well.



DogsWithoutHorses
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02 Oct 2012, 10:19 am

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
Being a 20 year old female with no boyfriend, eh?

Try most dudes here who are approaching 30 with no relationships in their lives.

Sorry for being harsh, but I recall this one girl who told me she didn't want to be a virgin at 20...and your thread is kind of the same in terms of being X age and not doing x thing at the moment.


there are several high school guys who have come in for a whine and people are usually very positive "you'll have plenty of time"
if it concerns her, it concerns her

most people encounter romantic angst


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WantToHaveALife
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02 Oct 2012, 10:25 am

i hate it when people say you have plenty of time because i want it in my prime years



b9
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02 Oct 2012, 10:28 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
b9 wrote:
IrishTusk wrote:
b9 wrote:
i have always considered humans as dressed up apes.
i do not dislike apes, but i am not one of them. i am not better or worse i know, i am just not one of them.


. . . So what are you then? A Pixie? Frog? Genetic throwback? Dr Zaius?

i am an environmental robot of the "B" class and in am the ninth and final model in that series.


And I am a giant rotten head in a jar, beat that, robot!


if i was to "beat" your jar, then your head would spill out onto the ground where you would have not the protection of your formaldehyde immersion.

erggh i have to return to the recharge bay.



WantToHaveALife
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02 Oct 2012, 4:46 pm

b9 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
b9 wrote:
IrishTusk wrote:
b9 wrote:
i have always considered humans as dressed up apes.
i do not dislike apes, but i am not one of them. i am not better or worse i know, i am just not one of them.


. . . So what are you then? A Pixie? Frog? Genetic throwback? Dr Zaius?

i am an environmental robot of the "B" class and in am the ninth and final model in that series.


And I am a giant rotten head in a jar, beat that, robot!


if i was to "beat" your jar, then your head would spill out onto the ground where you would have not the protection of your formaldehyde immersion.

erggh i have to return to the recharge bay.


just so damn angry about having to approach



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02 Oct 2012, 4:53 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
be glad you don't have to do the approaching


This is really overlooked. As guys, it is seen as our "duty" to approach. Meanwhile, if a girl is approachable and good looking, all the work is done for her.


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DogsWithoutHorses
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02 Oct 2012, 10:15 pm

Blammo wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
be glad you don't have to do the approaching


This is really overlooked. As guys, it is seen as our "duty" to approach. Meanwhile, if a girl is approachable and good looking, all the work is done for her.


if by "overlooked" you mean, constantly discussed and brought up to justify less than good behaviour
yeah, totally overlooked


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MXH
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02 Oct 2012, 10:53 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Blammo wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
be glad you don't have to do the approaching


This is really overlooked. As guys, it is seen as our "duty" to approach. Meanwhile, if a girl is approachable and good looking, all the work is done for her.


if by "overlooked" you mean, constantly discussed and brought up to justify less than good behaviour
yeah, totally overlooked

less than good behavior justified through the overlooked issue. Oh well, we all know what has to happen for this to end. Ball is in your court.



Blammo
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02 Oct 2012, 10:57 pm

viva la internet.


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Surfman
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03 Oct 2012, 7:45 am

Maybe you need an older man, baby



smudge
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03 Oct 2012, 8:32 am

Answer: Approach men.

Ignore peoples' beliefs that men should always do the approaching. It is such an out-of-date, sexist view of men *and* women. Are women too helpless to approach men? See, that doesn't even make sense. Can anyone think of any decent reason apart from, "Men like to chase" that justifies that only men do the approaching? Guess what? Women like chasing too!! ! So why should only men have to make the effort (and get to have all the fun)?

A small word of warning though - some men will judge because of this stupid rule, and probably 33-50% will get scared off. Just move on from them - some men will be flattered if you approach them.

Or you could drop really big hints such as, "I fancy you".



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03 Oct 2012, 9:00 am

Hey true, Smudge, some women love chasing but remember, not all men love to be chased! :lol: There are a lot of men out there, and a huge number prefer the "traditional ritual" yet.

There is a lot of influence of our ancestors yet. The girl has to be chased, the girl who has had a lot of sex partners is a slut, the man who never get sex is not a man, the man have to provide. Those are despicable thinkings, but they are between us yet. Maybe we as species are too weak and selfish and we perpetuate them because some of them (depending on our gender) benefit us.

But certainly, if you are a woman and nobody approaches you... you have to try some approachings if you want to have a bit of action :P . The spinster figure as an example of failure is another despictable thinking that exists yet.

Some of us don't like those thinkings but a lot of people out there put them into practice everyday. This is how society works. If you want something and you have to achieve it with an "out of your gender" behaviour you'll be critized by society, so I enjoy doing it :lol:


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WantToHaveALife
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03 Oct 2012, 3:03 pm

MXH wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Blammo wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
be glad you don't have to do the approaching


This is really overlooked. As guys, it is seen as our "duty" to approach. Meanwhile, if a girl is approachable and good looking, all the work is done for her.


if by "overlooked" you mean, constantly discussed and brought up to justify less than good behaviour
yeah, totally overlooked

less than good behavior justified through the overlooked issue. Oh well, we all know what has to happen for this to end. Ball is in your court.


yeah, it seems men are more willing to overlook flaws, red-flags, insecurites in women than the other way around, vice-versa



BanjoGirl
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03 Oct 2012, 4:41 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
MXH wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Blammo wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
be glad you don't have to do the approaching


This is really overlooked. As guys, it is seen as our "duty" to approach. Meanwhile, if a girl is approachable and good looking, all the work is done for her.


if by "overlooked" you mean, constantly discussed and brought up to justify less than good behaviour
yeah, totally overlooked

less than good behavior justified through the overlooked issue. Oh well, we all know what has to happen for this to end. Ball is in your court.


yeah, it seems men are more willing to overlook flaws, red-flags, insecurites in women than the other way around, vice-versa


That is because women "have to be" fragile and men "have to be" strong.

A strong woman is not as popular as a fragile woman. In fact, the very independent and professional women sometimes are accused of selfish, cold and, why not, b*****s.

It's what I said before. Society want you to fit the CORRECT stereotype of your gender, if you are a man and you are very fragile or you are a woman and you are very ambitious and centred in your career, you can find love, but it will be more difficult for you because a lot of people love the stupid stereotypes.


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MrDavid
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03 Oct 2012, 6:26 pm

I just turned 20, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed (You can't get much more Noob than that). Let me tell you, I've had enough friends go through relationships to learn this one important fact:
Relationships are messy. Really really messy. There's no shortage of people complaining about being in a relationship. I've been in love before, I know the whole song-and-dance that entails. For a while is was miserable about being single, and then after a while I woke up one day and said: "I'm single, and it's awesome!" I don't have to get for anybody, I don't need to buy things, I have entire weekends just for me and it's great.
Through all of this I'm still keeping my eyes open, it just so happens that my tastes are very particular (I am incapable of associating myself with someone who I can't have an intellectual conversation with). So I just keep waiting for the right person to come along, whenever that may be. In the meantime, I'll enjoy what I have.


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04 Oct 2012, 2:06 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:
What am I doing wrong?

Does anybody have any thoughts to share or maybe tips? People that feel the same maybe? ;)

Love,

Cafeaulait


Its simple: We have not met.



8)