Why you can't get a date

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^ Sly wouldn't like that.

Actually, while my income wouldn't decrease by getting a boyfriend, if we lived together the expenses would increase. More money would be needed for food, electricy and water bills would rise, I would have to use more money on toilet paper, laundry etc. and I'd need a bigger apartment since I currently live in an apartment with no separate bedroom and need my own space, so that would cost more too. I'm not saying that he'd have to pay the exact same amount as I do, but if I had to take care of all the bills and other expences I couldn't tolerate it; the increase in expences living with him would cause would take money from my hobbies and other things important to me after all. Sure, for a man I love I would give up on some things, especially if he is simply unemployed for the moment and actively looking for a job, but having to literally take care of another person finance wise for the rest of my life... sorry, but no. I'm not cut out for that. If that makes me a selfish woman then so be it.

What I mean is that I wouldn't date a man if I felt like I put in a lot more effort than he did (financially, in housekeeping and perhaps emotionally as well), especially if he could put in more effort. For example let's say I'd pay 3/4 of our expenses and he 1/4. It'd be fine if I could really afford it and he'd be paying 1/4 because he can't pay more and not because he uses a lot more to his hobbies or something. In a situation like this, assuming the man's abilities and, most of all his health, allows it then I would ask him to do more housework than I did because that'd be fair in my eyes. I'd work more outside our home, bringing in more money and he'd work more in the house so that both of us put in as much effort. Of course, if the man is somehow disabled creating a system that works will take more work, but what wouldn't one do for the one they love...

Better than you? Because society says so? Why listen to society? If she's fat, lazy and refuses to exercise or get a job, she's not better than you, regardless of what society says. She doesn't deserve you.

Hale_bopp:

There are no Australians on the Internet.

Literally. I very very rarely come across any online and those that do live halfway across the country.

Retro gamer and Raleigh is the only other Australians on wrongplanet and he is very, very far away.

Volunteering at pet shops, I have allergies.

University library. Hobby groups, not bad ideas.

Making male friends for me has always been useless. Every.male friend ive ever had ive been best with girls which isn't saying much.

I tend to end up friends with awkward, antisocial males who don't have any age appropriate sisters or cousins either.

I find myself incompatible with the very.males.who are better at being friends with and knowing girls. I've tried being friends with more social and popular males, just doesn't work out.

I think its stupid and dangerous to have flatmates you don't or barely know.

You could get beaten, raped, robbed, murdered.

I know single girls from.high school who advertise looking for a flatmate, how foolish is that? Even if it'd only other women you can't trust other women either.

Anyway in fairly.mistrusting of others in general and definitely wouldn't actually live with someone like that.

As for a job, I'm on disability. As for drivi . My anxiety is severe.

I would have crashed at 16, my mental health was worse then now.

I can barely even volunteer . THAT is how bad my mental health is.

As for study, I'm on disability Im not permitted from the government to, which is bullcrap.

I can study just fine, its wrling I can't really do yet.

And.no I don't think your dad toigh pove attitude would have helped.

My life is so easy, yet I barely.make it through the day mentally as it is.

Forced to get a job as soon as I graduated would have DESTROYED me.

While we were getting me on disability I was so scared if they said no, I was having occasional panic attacks.

So it's either I get to study but must spend hours a week job hunting and going to stressful appointments each week for hours or volunteer in my comfortable limit, slowly learn to drive . Take advantage of disability support services to help me move out, continue therapy.

I refuse to take.meds they screw with my mental and physical health.

Women are more valued in all societies.

Sorry, just had to separate that one out because it really does not feel that way at all to me. Too often we're valued in the same way people value their pets, like cute play things that are ultimately less important. You are looking from the outside and wishing you got played with as often, without fully realizing all that entails.

For yiu , but most nt women would want to share a single bed and room. What’s their excuse?
Simply have the guy cover the extra that he needs for bills. Settle for s place that’s within yiur two budgets. It sucks that because I can’t pay what a guy making $25 and hour full time would pay I’m seen as a lazy bum who wouldn’t pay his share.
Say a lady makes $2500 a month but demands a guy making 3,000 a month , wouldn’t a guy making 900-1000 a month be better then being alone forever. Especially considering she doesn’t have to change anything. What’s so wrong with renting a house your whole life.
Then there’s the ones who won house and cars. Sounds like they expect a guy to help pay their mortgage and car payments. Why should I be expected to pay half of a house that’s in her name? She’s making due as is I should only be expected to pay my part of the bills I agreee to. Guess we could have separate meals and food though I don’t feel most couples do that. But like say she wants full cable package and guy doesn’t why should he pay for half of that? Especially considering she had it before and pays it just fine.

I simple think a lot of women could be with a lower paid guy with minor effects to their current situation. I’m not unemployed I just don’t make much. I can only work part time. And even still with bus transit I’m gone for the same time someone working full time is. I leave at 2 and get home at 10. Then now I go to gym for before work. Which takes up 2 hours. Then hour to shower and shave and eat s meal.

I believe proactive cleaning is the best solution. Wash your plate and dish right after you eat, wash the pots and stuff right after you cooked it. Do Stuff like that and then yiu won’t have messed to clean up.

Has he seen how Indian men treat women? He’s quite naive.

Sorry, just had to separate that one out because it really does not feel that way at all to me. Too often we're valued in the same way people value their pets, like cute play things that are ultimately less important. You are looking from the outside and wishing you got played with as often, without fully realizing all that entails.

It's the muslim men in particular. I'd actually be willing to agree with all of you ladies here if you were willing to point fingers at islam. That's the strongest example of a patriarchy anywhere. The quran says women are pretty much worthless.

Valued more then men. Would muslims or Indians send their womento fight and die or do they value their ability to have children and keep the population going too much?
Men don’t get sold in marriage for goats or land. Not that I agree with that horrible practice. Men can go and die and the population and nation will continue but if half the women died it’s seriously harm the population future of that nation. I think that is at the heart of why women are more valued their their equivalent male counterpart

Wanting someone to pay their fair share doesn’t really need an excuse. Reality is, if you live in someone else’s house, you pay rent to them. It’s the same with most young, unmarried couples.

I wouldn’t let anyone near my house without paying me rent.

Car payments are different, people are responsible for their own usually unless they are married.

The "value" of women created by the demand for them by men is not necessarily value that imparts any power to the woman with respect to increasing her freedom. In a broad sense, it seems to decrease her freedom.

That’s a shame. Without medication I cannot even leave the house, let alone have a job. My medication is really hard on my body, but the point of it means I can have a nearly normal life.

I’ve been on medication since I was 13.

It’s often a pay off. You can’t have everything. If you want to function, you need to take medication. People like us got dealt a dud hand. It doesn’t mean it has to be that bad all the time. I have to take bottles of magnesium and psyllium husk for my digestive system to work properly on meds. But it’s better than not being able to do anything and have my mind stuck in a low functioning body.

It doesn’t sound like you want it badly enough to try anything.

I refuse to take medication that makes me pile on weight, but they don’t all do that. I could probably be less paranoid if I did.

I am sorry you have things so difficult.

The reality is that now isn't the time to think about relationships. While one of the beautiful things about relationships is that two broken people will find acceptance with each other (most people are broken in one way or another, some just hide it better), broken can also mean you aren't in the right life space to be able to sustain a relationship. I am not saying you don't deserve a relationship, because I definitely think you do and hope you will someday have one. Just I personally do not believe now is the time. You have work to do for yourself and by yourself. I was once in a space where that was what I needed, as well: to do work by myself and for myself. Until you pass through this phase all other discussion and brainstorming is extraneous, in my opinion. All you are doing is adding stress and anxiety. Turn your focus to your mental health, 100%, and get that solved. It is the clear and obvious step, as well as something you wrote earlier you want to do. So do it. Don't let discussions like this one distract and confuse you. Take the step you know you need to take and want to take: improve your mental health.