Majority of autistuc men dont have a girlfriend?

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IsabellaLinton
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14 Jul 2024, 6:04 pm

Maybe we should have a thread called "Majority of Autistic women are at risk by having a boyfriend" -- that's on top of the ones who don't even want a boyfriend for other reasons, or those who aren't hetero. I guess it even includes the ones who do have a boyfriend but don't know how to end it safely.


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cyberdad
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14 Jul 2024, 6:07 pm

that's a trend right? life as a single woman who maintains a circle of close friends > being lumbered with a male (like a ball and chain)



TwilightPrincess
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14 Jul 2024, 6:09 pm

cyberdad wrote:
that's a trend right? life as a single woman who maintains a circle of close friends > being lumbered with a male (like a ball and chain)

Is that what you're getting out of this current conversation?

No, that doesn't describe my experience of being in an abusive relationship. Abusers tend to isolate you from your friends.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 14 Jul 2024, 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IsabellaLinton
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14 Jul 2024, 6:11 pm

I don't think men are considered a ball and chain. I've never heard that. It stands to reason though, if the woman can support herself and her kids it's risky to cohabitate or get married. Men can take half our stuff if we split up. I know more unemployed men than unemployed women, too - although I don't know the stats on employment.

I don't have a close circle of friends. I never have.


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cyberdad
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14 Jul 2024, 6:12 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
that's a trend right? life as a single woman who maintains a circle of close friends > being lumbered with a male (like a ball and chain)

Is that what you're getting out of this current conversation?

No, that doesn't describe my experience of being in an abusive relationship. Abusers tend to isolate you from your friends.


I am not getting personal (how did that happen?) a trend happening in many parts of the world is women prefer being single rather than being in a relationship > men. that doesn't mean all women, but the trend is moving upward



cyberdad
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14 Jul 2024, 6:14 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't think men are considered a ball and chain. I've never heard that. It stands to reason though, if the woman can support herself and her kids it's risky to cohabitate or get married. Men can take half our stuff if we split up. I know more unemployed men than unemployed women, too - although I don't know the stats on employment.

I don't have a close circle of friends. I never have.


I often wonder how much of this perception is promulgated through the media?



IsabellaLinton
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14 Jul 2024, 6:15 pm

It's because women are no longer forced to marry men for financial reasons.
We can make our own money now.
We can even vote and make decisions.

8O

It's also acceptable to come out as LBGTQ and asexual or aromantic.


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IsabellaLinton
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14 Jul 2024, 6:16 pm

cyberdad wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't think men are considered a ball and chain. I've never heard that. It stands to reason though, if the woman can support herself and her kids it's risky to cohabitate or get married. Men can take half our stuff if we split up. I know more unemployed men than unemployed women, too - although I don't know the stats on employment.

I don't have a close circle of friends. I never have.


I often wonder how much of this perception is promulgated through the media?


Which perception?


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cyberdad
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14 Jul 2024, 6:16 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
It's because women are no longer forced to marry men for financial reasons.
We can make our own money now.
We can even vote and make decisions.

8O

It's also acceptable to come out as LBGTQ and asexual or aromantic.


All true, as a male we kind of have to project based on experiences rather than walking in female shoes.



cyberdad
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14 Jul 2024, 6:17 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't think men are considered a ball and chain. I've never heard that. It stands to reason though, if the woman can support herself and her kids it's risky to cohabitate or get married. Men can take half our stuff if we split up. I know more unemployed men than unemployed women, too - although I don't know the stats on employment.

I don't have a close circle of friends. I never have.


I often wonder how much of this perception is promulgated through the media?


Which perception?

Perceptions that I just expressed which may not reflect reality for a lot of women.
But I keep reading - https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... -be-single



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14 Jul 2024, 6:20 pm

I think most women would prefer a relationship with a good partner, but the majority of us would rather stay single than be with someone who won't treat us well or who we don't truly connect with.


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cyberdad
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14 Jul 2024, 6:21 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
I think most women would prefer a relationship with a good partner, but the majority of us would rather stay single than be with someone who won't treat us well or who we don't truly connect with.


makes sense



IsabellaLinton
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14 Jul 2024, 6:23 pm

Oh sorry. I thought you meant something I said. A lot of Incel media pushes the narrative that women are bad, selfish people who don't date because we think we're too good for men. Is that what you mean? If so I agree it's promulgated and it's incorrect. It has nothing to do with women being better than men. It's risk management. Like we said earlier men are scared of being embarrassed if they get rejected by a woman so they think it's reasonable to stop asking women out. That's the male form of risk management. Women are scared of being embarrassed, but they're also at risk of being sexually assaulted, impregnated, abused, shamed, stalked, or even killed for meeting the wrong person. Sometimes their kids are even at risk.

I'm not sure why men can exercise risk management by deciding not to invite women on dates, but when women try to stay safe they get slandered and insulted in the media as if they're aholes.


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14 Jul 2024, 10:45 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't think men are considered a ball and chain. I've never heard that. It stands to reason though, if the woman can support herself and her kids it's risky to cohabitate or get married. Men can take half our stuff if we split up. I know more unemployed men than unemployed women, too - although I don't know the stats on employment.

I don't have a close circle of friends. I never have.
I've only heard wives referred to as ball & chains. I never liked that term. I think of marriage as a sense of stability but I never been into the freedom of single life some guys enjoy.

Poverty rates have been rising though & the cost of housing keeps increasing. I'm guessing the working poor tend to keep living with family or they get roommates instead of living with romantic partners :?

Slightly off topic but I suudently remembered when the couch surfing trend started. Young adults would stay with random people while trying to find jobs in different areas, figuring out where they'd like to move to, or just traveling around. I worked with a couple guys who got girlfriends that way. I've known two women online who were doing that & woulda been interested in staying with me but I didn't have my own place & NO way my mom woulda allowed that. I'm not sure what happened with that trend. Of coarse there were some major potential safety concerns.


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cyberdad
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15 Jul 2024, 2:39 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Oh sorry. I thought you meant something I said. A lot of Incel media pushes the narrative that women are bad, selfish people who don't date because we think we're too good for men.

Given the recent trump shooter shows the hallmarks of an incel I am guessing their narrative will be on the news again as some type of danger to society. I think incel media push the false narrative women are selfish and save themselves for only the top alpha males in terms of looks/money/status. this causes resentment in some incels who give up and develop a pathological hatred of women. But I am sure this does not include the vast majority of autistic males who only want to make friends with females.



IsabellaLinton
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15 Jul 2024, 2:50 am

Women can date whoever makes them feel safe and comfortable.

Incels do themselves a disservice by expressing hostility and prejudice toward an entire gender, most of whom they haven't even met, so tbh - if a dude believes that nonsense then his harsh critique of women is the main reason he won't be gettin any. Maybe if these men could shut up about how horrible women are and realise the hypocrisy in their attitude, they'd at least be able to attract female friends.


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