[25+ Age] L & D Forums for High-Functioning Adult AS?

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Have you ever publicly debated before? Sorry to sound condescending and arrogant to the op but ^THAT^ is one beautifully put together piece if I may say so.


ephemerella,

No offense but you act like your writing "The official Aspie field manual for all things social and subliminal", no offense but waving your knowledge on aspergers and downing on others isnt going to get you very far at least on here. Its pretty obvious after oh I dont know 7+ pages of people disagreeing with you that your views are corrupt.


[quote=ephemerella]There is nothing worse for an AS than having a chaotic relationship or person in their life.[/quote]
Really? While that statement has some validity I think the same could be said for anyone with the slighest bit of emotion in them (Aka: every sane human).

For the record Im not taking sides here Im merely picking at this thread, its like a giant steak, no use on forcing your self to eat the whole thing when your not hungry.

:BlotSpot:

Last edited by Zane on 30 Dec 2008, 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Again, we have the young males picking at the words of someone who has experience they don't understand.

Wait until you are an adult independent in the world with AS, no disability, no one to take care of you. Then take an inappropriate, incompatible person in your life while trying to support yourself and maintain your functioning. When you start having meltdowns, etc, can't hold onto your job, it's only your own fault, and to say that NTs have the same problem is to ignore that AS don't have the same social and relationship strengths and weaknesses as "every sane human".

You don't get my frame of reference, but you feel comfortable, with your 15 years of age, passing judgment on words that you cannot possibly understand yet. You have no way of understanding the significance of having a bad match disrupt your life, for an independent, employed adult AS.

It is worse than pointless to be on this forum. It's painfully cognitively dissonant for me to be on this so dominated by teenaged/young male AS, giving out "advice" to other AS. If you think my opinions are comments are so easily trivialized by you, that only underlines the need to have someplace where more mature, functional AS can speak about these subjects without the interference of the mistaken. The gang of teenaged/young males who have come here and dumped on this thread are an example of dominating but mistaken voices who only dominate by virtue of their aggression and sense of entitlement as majority voices on the site. And not dominating because they are right or know anything about what they are talking about.

It's takes too much time and energy to try to get any points across, when talk about Love & Dating is screened and dominated by virgin teenaged AS boys. Here, as nowhere else in the world and without any justification whatsoever, they are the dominating voices and set the agenda and create the environment on Love & Dating discussion.

It is worse than pointless, it is self-defeating for a sexually active, mature female to be on this forum.

This will probably be my last post... so you can get your last words in without fear of your words being held to any test of reality or rationality.

This last is a curious assertion, as you have spent 9 pages conspicuously NOT avoiding said people.
It seems that you, in your last post, have belatedly figured out that ceasing argument with such people is not only possible but desirable.
Yet there's no need to withdraw from the thread, or these forums: you may continue to post quality, thought-provoking ideas worthy of discussion, and respond only to those who approach your topic in a constructive way. I would be inclined to be one of those voices, as I found some of your posts elsewhere to be interesting.
I have had success on this and other forums by being an intelligent voice, and avoiding flame wars. I understand how your history with stalkers and their ilk could cause you to be defensive. In real life, turning your back on a stalker can be dangerous. But this is just the internet. If your real identity and location are not available to thse online trolls, they can be safely ignored, and your time can be spent more productively.
I am a male, age 38, IQ 160, Boston area. If you can point me to another thread of yours where you discuss the issues mentioned in your original post, I would likely participate.
I do not find LPP or Zane's attitudes anywhere near the level of stalking or thought-policing, merely opinionated and vocal.

As for getting a mod's attention:
On the forums index page, go to the third forum from the bottom (wrongplanet.net discussion). The first thread, a sticky, is "moderator attention: how to get a mod when you need it."
I doubt the mods will find anything in this thread worth regulating - they will likely suggest, as I have, to ignore the flames and trolls altogether.

I have a problem with adversarial males -- after my experiences I tend to engage with them defensively rather than turn my back on them. So that is my defensiveness problem, not theirs.



I have a personal problem due to my AS and my past AS trauma that affects me and should not be on the Love & Dating forum because I am having difficulty with it.

LPP mentioned that he had some bad personal history with a female that maybe prompted some of his profile shifts, maybe of the personal problems that AS people can make it difficult for male AS teens/young people to be on the same forum with female AS mature people, and vice versa.

So this has been a learning experience for me.



I will try philosophy section, perhaps, under the subject philosophy of sexuality and philosophy of socialization.

Because AS have to think explicitly about these things in the way NTs do not... how to be with another person in a bond, what it means to have someone else as a partner and how to position yourself in the universe differently if you want to go out and find sex, IMO AS are necessarily philosophers analyzing not only the algorithms about how to love and socialize but also the fundamental meanings of these things.

AS are natural philosophers and the way we discuss these things are in fact philosophical... so that is where my threads belong. Most of the things that are said on this forum, involve ideas of philosophy of love, philosophy of sexuality and philosophy of socialization.

But I just have to think about how to fit in there without upsetting others in the forum if I go in there posting Love and Dating thought-pieces. I also have to review my philosophy so that I'm using the right terminology, which will take a little while.

Also, before I do any more I do any more such posting, I will have to think about how to stop being offensive and defensive toward those who fall outside my Love & Dating age/interest profile group.

The rest of my response to this post is added to the opening post.

ephemerella , how many times you said "young males" in a negative light in this thread alone?

ephemerella , how many times you said "young males" (in a negative light) in this thread alone?



ephemerella , you have serious issues, I have issues too ...in fact everyone does, but your issues are way too serious.
You keep check users members to see if they are males and if you don't like their replies to you then you star accusing them of being macho chauvinist male bastards...

That's one of the reasons why I shift my profile to female , not only to prove that I have no sense of sexism but also to avoid to be quickly misjudged by people like you on my gender basis. I always wanted to pick "none" as gender in my profile but that's not available.


Just forget ....for a moment , that those posters are males or females ...try this.


Besides, and I don't recall anyone said that AS are inferior ..sure we have common issues , we lack some abilities (social skills) but that's not inferiority.

And NTs are not bastards like you are picturing them, you are much worse than any NT I personally know.

You are the one who's promoting superiority , you are spliting between AS_with_super_IQ vs AS/Autistic with average IQ.


If you think this forum is not to your level because it's dominated by "Average IQ, Immature users and young males" then please do us a favor and leave ephemerella , just leave because you won't be welcomed here.

That explains quite a bit, and it is sad that you would find a need to disguise your gender to have a logical discussion with someone (sad on their part, not yours).

The fact that women check who is attacking them and that it makes a difference, is because there are abusive males out there who like to hate women, stalk them and other kinds of predators who focus on women. If you aren't black, you don't understand the poisonous motivation that some racists have against blacks. If you aren't an attractive woman, you can't see how many people around you have a hidden side of woman-hating and woman-bashing.

To me, your ongoing (thread-long) attempts to belittle and marginalize my feelings of marginalization sound like those white guys who like to tell black people that racism is not really a problem anymore. Those guys only speak for themselves. They don't speak for the 1 in 20 or 1 in 50 people who will do nasty things to black people when no one else is looking. The fact that you, as a young male, don't get what I'm saying, only means that you have no experience with it. IT is always belittling and marginalizing to take the statement of someone from a discriminated-against class and tell them that you know better than they how to judge their opinions about their status, based on experience that you cannot possess, not being of that class.

The fact that you have a hobby or special interest in arguing against feminists and feminism and are called sexist by those women, reflects your personal issue may be influencing your debating behavior. I would never want to gain a rep for going around arguing with blacks how they don't have the experiences they claim to have or that they are deluded to feel that they have experienced racism just because a while male doesn't see it happening. (1) I wouldn't know because I'm not black and the people who would be acting out against them would not be motivated to show that behavior toward me, and (2) since I'm not able to be affected by racism directly, the only opinions I could have on the subject are those that are based on my own racism.

I'm surprised that you don't see how women might form the opinion that your arguing in these threads against the experiences and opinions of women in subject areas about their own experiences and opinions, is not sexist or motivated by gender bias.



If I am much worse than any NT you have known, you are very lucky, then.



A lot of people in my demographic have said they love my posts. Doesn't it occur to you that what is not appealing or true to your and your group may be appealing and true to those outside of your world view?

It is one thing to have a world view based on your own experience and perspective in life. But you seem to think in the posts on this thread that your having a clear vision on women's issues based on your own world view means that you can impose that on others who have a completely different experience base. I.e. you don't seem to have any sense that there is a limitation to how valid your opinions and world views can be, when applied to women who have completely different world experiences and makeup than you.

You and others keep talking about the sexism thing going with your profile history as being some kind of joke or lark with you. Is it? It didn't seem that way the way you came after me and have persisted in this thread.



I only looked at your profile because something about the way you came at me triggered my interest. I didn't look up the profiles of anyone else on this thread. Just you.

No, after reviewing your posts about women's issues some more I don't get the idea that you are a predator. But I do think that there is something there, some issue of discomfort with women stating their opinions, or some notion that your opinions on women's experience and issues are more valid than theirs, to the point of having a belief that your opinions about them should outweigh theirs.

The OP post obviously said things that were offensive and I have updated the OP post to reflect that I am aware that it was offensive in places.

It is sad that the feminists on this site have forced LPP to have to pose as a woman... how sad for him that he has experienced that as a young male telling them how to interpret their experiences, experiences he does not share or understand. They (we) are sad, bad people. If LPP shifted his attention to black people, and felt he could behave that way toward black activist posters and their opinions and ideas about their black experience, he would get less sympathy. If he acted this way toward black issues as he does toward women's issues, his behavior would be seen in an totally different light. Somehow it is acceptable for males to marginalize women's opinions, even when their opinions are about their own woman's experiences with men.

The young female groupies who cheerlead young male chauvinists are so absurd; they don't realize that their desire to be popular with the boys is kind of transparent to older feminists. That is most obvious in the Love & Dating forum. So it isn't even necessary to discuss the young women's views since they automatically and submissively track those of the young/teen male groupthink from which the young females get their orientation of what is permissible and what is not okay to say or think about Love and Dating. Young NT females learn early on that they have to embrace the views of the boy chauvinists and cheerlead them, to be popular. You can hear more young women bad-mouthing feminism than you hear young males, trying to distance themselves from those bad women who they claim hate men. I never did cheerlead male chauvinism to fit in, even for Love & Dating, and it kind of surprises me how extensive that behavior is among young AS women. I thought it was an NT thing, but I guess not.

... you're insane.

it is sad that gender or race, or skin color becomes an issue in whether or not a person's comments are valid.. Though it is typically human.

It seems that only in math can a person's comments and work stand alone, regardless of who they are.

It is sad that that you fixate on gender (and oddly enough on skin color though it is not something you have ever experienced).

It is sad that you would take my comments are being more important or worth more than his comments because I have a vagina and he has a penis.

I have been around way too many feminists to know that the moment a man opens his mouth it is all man-bashing... but a woman could say they same thing (exact same thing) and the comments are viewed in a different light. Why? because of her gender. The comments are no more or less valid... you personally view them as more valid because of something as silly as gender.
Which is why I view feminists as being more often than not... prejudiced. Only considering remarks as being valid if they are from a woman... and that kind of prejudice was something that original feminism fought against.

irony.

Modern feminism is dead, slowly decaying into a monster it used to fight.


But I need to bow out as me and feminists do not mix.

I am not a feminist or anti-feminist. Frankly, I think that some women who identify themselves as feminists today are anything but pro-woman, but just have found a niche for themselves in the liberal activist universe for that label. I was as horrified as any gun-toting NRA guy when the liberal feminists started declaring that Sarah Palin wasn't a true woman if she hunted and killed animals. Mostly, I think that any discussion about feminism devolves into people who come across as sexists complaining about people who come across as neurotic liberals and vice versa.

I am simply trying to figure out how to find/contribute to a forum where a minority view is neither offensive nor marginalized/belittled. Since you fixated on gender/feminism instead of the obvious other issues raised in the thread, like how Love & Dating opinions tend to be true only for some demographics and false for others. There is not only that problem in Love & Dating (many statements are true/helpful for one (age) group while being false/undermining for another (age) group). But there is also the problem where you have people who have been mistreated by members of one group (e.g. men or women) speaking on issues along with members of that group, who might resent some of the things said.

While it is always possible to simple avoid confrontation, it seems to me that people aren't getting the answers they seek because the discussion isn't frank or confrontational enough to explore these communications dilemmas. Especially in a forum where people have communications disorders, like myself. I think it's good that mystyc raised some of the questions he did by expressing his frustration. It's good to avoid confrontation and verbal disagreements, but when the people aren't getting answers, it's also good to see that is happening and maybe look into why. The smart young men on this forum shouldn't be made to feel more depressed and frustrated by those who are trying to help.

Perhaps one way to say that the young males aren't getting some of what they could benefit from in this forum is to say, "Why don't they understand what women/older Aspies mean when they say 'be yourself'"? Some males, apparently, are so frustrated by this advice they say it makes them feel inadequate or hopeless to hear it.

Why don't we have a challenge to see who can explain this better -- "Be Yourself" -- as advice that some males have complained they don't understand and that doesn't help them figure out how to behave?

Like Dueling Threads clearing up the whole "Be Yourself" question and explaining how to apply that advice?

I bet the most successful "Explaining Be Yourself" thread will be one in which you have a diversity of voices and opinions from a diversity of age/sex/experience levels. Ones in which the women speak up and disagree with the men who wave off their comments, instead of just subsiding into silence.

Me and the other women who have questioned that behavior he has engage in is sexist? Or because I am speaking about how minority and opposition views that don't fit in with some young male groupthink is treated?

The fact of there being something wrong with someone who pushes their arguments against the minority experiences of a minority class, who has an experience base they don't share, is pretty common in discrimination and anti-discrimination literature and discussion. It's not uncommon to run into self-appointed debunkers of minority experience, who are often white guys, who feel unashamed and free to insist that their clear opinions about the statements of minorities are persecution delusions. I can't tell you how many times in the Deep South I heard some young white guy say that there isn't really any problem with racial discrimination anymore, and that they knew this because they never saw any racism going on among any people they knew. As if, being young white males, they would experience a lot of racism or others who were racist would engage in their behavior openly.

Your strong opinions, unsupported by any supporting reasoning or points, are knee-jerk anti-feminism, which is very common among young women.

And I don't think your opinions are more important than LPP's (as you state in the above next post) because you have a vagina. I think I made clear that I think it's worth less because you will only follow what the males say and do, taking your permission for what is good and bad opinion from them. I actually said that in my post so you should reread it. It is the young males who tend to have real opinions and voices, while many young females are their followers, and embrace young male chauvinism and demonize feminists, to be more popular. I can't say that I find your opinions to be more important than LPP's since they are LPP's opinions you mirror.

The young male antifeminine groupthink group is trying to tag me and my posts a certain way, without any real coherent argument or basis in fact. There is no way you could have gotten that I think your opinion is more important than LPPs if you read my post. Not even reading my posts clearly, but just trying to frame them in a way that meets the bias that you wish to project on an opposition view.

And in your posts, every other one, almost, you keep referring to math, as if you live in the world of rationality. I am more of a science professional, having actually worked with math as a career. I am not a substitute teacher always talking about the rational, clear world of math.

There is a difference between the clarity of actual problem-solving mentality and the sensation of clarity one gets from insular, comfort-zone thinking. Math is the first kind of clarity, stupidity is the second kind of clarity.

I'd rather be insane than lame.

What stupidity is that?:? I am no one's master. Shiggily is an adult person and not a follower to anyone. You think that she agreed with my point just because I am male ? Can't you forget our genders just for a second?

Just because she criticized your sexism that doesn't make her a slave.

You keep up using "young males" and "young females' in every post.

She's right .....you're insane, totally insane.




I barely know Shiggily and she barely knows me. I would comment no further about this since it's not personally addressed to me but still I find it insulting to involve my nickname in insulting comments.



That what you think.

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 27 Dec 2008, 8:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.