The line between confidence and arrogance

Post Reply New Topic

I'm not sure I don't. I have emotional intensity at times. I think it may be more damped out lately due to something going on with my health. I've just been in a constant state of tiredness and lethargy lately. You can't really feel much positive emotion when you're like this so much of the time. It really could be that my life in the here-and-now is quite empty (even though things are about to change).

As for relationships not working, maybe it's because you're attracted to people who have BPD traits. It might be the people you have chosen have abnormal demands of emotional intensity from you. I believe I am attracted to people who have a kind of child-like emotional intensity. I have that kind of craving at times. Most people in their 30s are far too "adult" for me. I would find them boring. I hope things turn out good for me with my current girlfriend.

Last edited by marshall on 18 Aug 2016, 4:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

You're a very intelligent guy, Marshall.

I'm sorry for your health problems.

To tell you the truth, I have a vicarious interest in how you do in Turkey should you go and live there.

One of my "special interests" is reading the accounts of expatriates.

and one of my special interests is being one

when i was little i used to think that moving to another country when you grow up was "the normal thing to do". it was only when i stopped to think about it that i realized it was the opposite. but the idea of living forever where i was born remained just as strange to me. it's hard to even grasp it as a possibility (which does make me wonder about "seminomadic hunter-gatherer" theories. because it feels like instinct to me)

yes, i can definitely relate to all that, and you're probably right (although i wouldn't say it's only about being attracted to people who demand what i can't offer. i think that's more of a compounding issue). i just don't know if there's any possible solution, or if it's simply impossible for me to ever have a stable/lasting relationship. which is why, despite how unfair my ex often was to me, i don't blame her. i knew from the beginning how problematic she was, and i'm problematic in similar ways. i knew what i was signing up for, i just didn't know how it would progress. i simply can't picture a relationship with someone who doesn't have a particularly childlike emotional nature

viewtopic.php?f=36&t=326523&p=7247219#p7247219

I have a strong strain of the Nomad in me as well.

I'm a bit spoiled, though. Especially when it comes to air-conditioning LOL

I'm retiring in six years. At that time, if I can afford it, I might buy an RV and go cross-country, staying in RV parks. This is the best way to meet fellow travelers--and you don't have to get too much in their business! Just hang out, have barbecues, and "chew the fat."

That's why, when I go to Vietnam in a few years, that I want to go in the winter, and go to the Northwest part, near Sapa. There's lots of nice hikes there, and you can see the really colorful rice paddy/terraces.

I have found, for the most part, away from urban centers and universities, that people value humility, and look really, really askance at blatant arrogance. Even in the United States, which is known for its "arrogant" people.

Just as girls tend to be attracted to confident guys, by the same toen, I'm attrated to cofident girls. Is that true for most guys?

Confidence | Arrogance.


Here, you all see it now.

i can't think of any situation where confidence would be unattractive. and i can easily think of some situations where confidence is attractive (like skilled dancers and athletes. it doesn't always have to be something physical though). but i can also think of situations where the opposite of confidence can be attractive. so i don't think it's a decisive factor. i think for me the whole ensemble makes more difference than one isolated quality (or the opposite of it). some things combined with other things result in attractiveness. and then sometimes the opposite of the same thing, combined with some other thing, also results in attractiveness

although, nowadays, when it comes to actually developing an interest in a girl, more than anything it's because i identify with her in the context where i met her. so it has to do more with being overall "like me" from my perspective than with having any particular qualities

Last edited by anagram on 19 Aug 2016, 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

You are so confusing between confidence and competence.

Actually, I think most people see them as not separate.

certain activities demand confidence. professional-level dancing and sports are among them. just the public practice of the activity itself is a display of confidence. whether or not the person is confident in other situations is another story, but it doesn't matter. confidence is always situational anyway (one of the differences between confidence and competence btw. competence is more like an attribute, confidence is more like a state)

Competence and proven and approved (by others) achievements is what lead to confidence.

How many over-confident candidates went to these singing competitions only to make the biggest fools out of themselves in front of everyone?
What did their confidence bring to them? And do you really think they're still confident at singing after being mocked by millions on youtube? Do you really think they're sexier to the opposite sex now?

Read this people: http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/c7d527a6-2ce2 ... z4Hl5dU0Rd

true or not, i'm not talking about any of that. i'm talking about what i find attractive. which sometimes includes confidence, and sometimes it doesn't. i can't think of any situation where confidence specifically makes anyone unattractive to me, but that doesn't mean that a confident woman can't be unattractive to me anyway. it's exactly what i'm saying: it's not a decisive factor to me