Do we have a chance at dating the really attractive ones?

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I'm not claiming University will be a Panacea.

I just feel he has a better shot at success----because one is more likely to find someone with relatively advanced and expansive thinking patterns in a University setting.

Plenty of people are a bit over-weight but not unhealthily obese, and not everyone has a skinny/petite body type, so no not everyone can just go an a diet/excercise to be 'skinny'...so that perspective seems a little shallow in my opinion. Then again my boyfriend is a little chubby but I like it because it makes him more cuddly, so I also can't really relate to only finding skinny people attractive.

Whether or not you have a chance is totally dependent on the opinion of the young women you wish to date.

This is quite similar to the fate of college basketball programs being determined by the choices of a few young men.

Scars from self harming just makes me want to cuddle them tighter. Why reject based on that? Most of us are depressed or faced depressed at one point.

True that. I went to college for 4 years and didn't meet any women or friends

True, he's not as bad off as me. My life's all but over.

Let's all get Sly a girl!

What happened with that girl in the bookstore?

True. In university he's likely to meet a girl who's not only intelligent but also psychologically healthy.

If he wishes to avoid girls with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder or girls who put zero effort into solving their problems, being in university will filter those girls out because they most likely wouldn't be able to get in.

Especially the last one, girls who put zero effort into solving their problems. People may have problems, which they make an effort to overcome, which is fine. But if they put zero effort into solving their problems or into their life in general then they probably won't make it into university.

So it would be the ideal place for Outrider to meet intelligent, well-adjusted young women. Just so long as he remains vigilant because university is the main breeding ground for SJWs. It is where normal people get assimilated like the Borg.

I used to be as bad off as you. If there's hope for me there's hope for anyone.

Attractiveness is a broader concept than merely being "good-looking". Don't forget that. Too many people equate the two. Looks just play a role as one part of overall attractiveness, at least for many people.

A lot of men misunderstand how attractiveness works with women, because we're programmed to focus primarily on physical appearance. Based on evolution, this makes sense, as we look for fertile women fit to bear many healthy children (though some ideals of beauty have changed over human history and from culture to culture- many ancient figurines and sculptures of women show the ideal as being rather plump and full figured because in a time of food scarcity, it was important to be well-fed and healthy).

So we assume that women, conversely, also judge primarily or solely on looks, which is untrue, and then ascribe our failures to looks when it was likely something else. For women, various character traits, like reliability, confidence and strength (of various kinds), the ability to care for them and children, good personality, etc. matter more. In the initial stages of attraction, things that we call "game" work very well, and can be used to make up for perceived shortcomings in purely physical attractiveness. In our modern world, the ability to make women laugh, make them feel comfortable, show initiative, confidence, and leadership, and generally be interesting and stand out from others is important. Their investment is biologically more intense, if you think about it, so they're looking for a man that is a real "catch"; looks alone don't account for this... they're merely an initial "hook" to get attention, so to speak.

I've seen nerdy, overweight, otherwise not physically attractive men with quite good looking women; they were able to compensate for this by excelling in other ways. Sure such people may have to work harder, but it is still possible. On the other hand, many women eventually get tired of good looking guys who have zero personality and are boring as hell.

I used to rely solely on looks for women and often fell short because I used to be very awkward and missed a lot of chances to escalate and make things happen. Or I would be afraid to be too romantic too early. Sure I got the occasional hookup, usually after drinking, but that's just a shallow one-night thing. I always had trouble actually maintaining more meaningful relationships with women, but I'm slowly getting better at this and always improving myself.

So to answer the OPs question, for people on the spectrum, it is difficult to date attractive women because of personality issues. Merely the fact that they are attractive doesn't define this, though. They're just people like any other; you've got to get over their looks and stop putting them on a pedestal and just try to approach. You'll likely fail many times but that's part of the learning process. In fact many hot girls wonder why they don't get approached more often.. the reason being that most guys are too intimidated to make a move and instead go for something they perceive as "easier".

Also, there are presumably very "hot" women who may have Asperger's or else just be very quirky, and maybe you can relate to them better than others if your personalities click and you happen to hit it off the right way. Never give up hope.

The reason you're having success only with less physically attractive ones is because a) you're too afraid to bother going after the more beautiful ones because you expect it will end in rejection/failure, and b) a lot of times less pretty girls note character flaws in good looking but awkward or weird guys and think they have a chance with them then; the guys, out of desperation, end up taking the bait and settling. It's happened to me a lot.

That's my limit.

Also, I've heard many reasons why people can't lose weight and yet seen those with the same problems make good progress.

Medications don't makes you gain weight, they increase your appetite.

I'll admit, I did end up gaining weight from meds by overeating but it can be prevented with willpower. I didn't care about health and fitness like I do now so I'd be able to resist it as I've lost weight and resisted hunger plenty of times. I also measure my food intake. I lose weight with not too much difficulty though. I know I have good genetics here.

Think people with thyroid issues have it hard to Lose weight, think of the wheelchair bound people who are fitter than many able bodied people.

Like Australia's own Dylan Alcott, wheelchair basketball and tennis player.

Personally I probably will be overweight soon but only because most of it will be muscle (the vast majority of athletes are overweight overweight cause our weight measuring systems don't take into account muscle weight vs fat weight)

I'd be fine with an overweight man or woman if it's mostly muscle, but it's unlikely because I also prefer short and thin feminine males too.

Some fit men like Michael Phelps and Taylor Lautner are hot but noty preference.

Some medications can definitely cause weight gain, its listed as a side effect on quite a few.

Also why should someone lose weight if they are healthy? I don't care if you only like skinny women...but the idea that anyone can become 'skinny' isn't really accurate as there are various body types, some of which are larger than others. Of course people should strive to be healthy but healthy and skinny is not really the same thing, what a healthy weight is for someone depends on the individual. If you don't find heavier females attractive, then you certainly don't have to date them, but you shouldn't assume their all unhealthy and don't take care of themselves.

Medications can increase appetite, slow metabolism, or trigger rapid conversion and storage of glucose to fat. They only indirectly cause weight gain. In order to retain weight, you have to consume food. No food=no weight gain. You can counteract medication side effects of weight gain by sharply cutting calories. It's as simple as that.

Not all of them actually cause weight gain, they cause a higher appetitie which makes you, the medication taker, eat more food, which causes weight gain because you're overeating more often.

So when it says it 'causes weight gain' it means weight gain is a consequence of the higher appetite it gives you.

I've been on some of these meds myself. It does not cause weight gain if you control your eating.

It's probably not true for all of them but it is for some of them.

How would a medication cause weight gain if you did not eat?

Weight gain is massively proven to be caused purely by your body receiving more calories than it needs and not enough activity to burn it off, fluid retention, etc.

There is some natural weight gain during puberty when bones and muscle grow and change in density along with fat gains but once you're in developed adulthood the only real factor that effects weight is calories and fluid retention.

https://www.drugs.com/article/weight-gain.html

So most of the reasons med cause weight gain are your own doing..

It's not your choice how full you feel but it is how much you eat.

Feeling fatigued is not your choice but it is possible to combat fatigue with good rest and exercise and a good diet.

Yes, I know people naturally have different body types, but obesity is not natural.

It is unnatural as they come.

No human being can biologically develop to be obese.

People can be naturally slightly overweight by medical standards, but not obese.

Plenty of humans have bigger boned bodies and naturally bulkier frames, but they still don't just grow into obesity.

And overweight does not always equal unhealthy.

I define overweight as a BMI of over 25 with high body fat, low muscle.

Even the naturally bulkier guys, like me, are moderate fat and moderate muscle, not high fat low muscle.

Anyway, it's also a visual thing for me, too, not just health.

In men and women I desire shorter and slimmer.

I like for there to be a size difference between us. I want to be taller, bigger and stronger lol.

I haven't worked at the book stor in over a year. So I'll guess you're talking about the recent girl, I was told by a guy who was told by her sister that the girl doesn't want a boyfriend right now

I have to agree with sweetleaf. Overweight people can actually be healthy because the standards for measuring average weight do not include many factors that can affect a persons individual 'healthy weight'.

My autie is a fitness freak (gym every day, marathon runner, cyclist) and she is just naturally curvy.

Like Sweetleaf said you don't have to find them attractive

Also being overweight doesn't mean you don't take care of yourself. I don't drink much, I don't smoke, I have very good hygiene, love makeup, avoid fast food and work hard to in my learning.

Unfortunately because at the moment I'm either in the lab or studying for the last 4 years I have put on weight because I havent thought about my weight. I can have a tiny slice of cheese with a meal and suddenly I've put on a lb. If I don't carefully plan every meal I put weight on and I just simply don't have the time.