[25+ Age] L & D Forums for High-Functioning Adult AS?
Airborne
Snowy Owl
Joined: 7 Nov 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 157
Location: United States Of America
Really? While that statement has some validity I think the same could be said for anyone with the slighest bit of emotion in them (Aka: every sane human).
Again, we have the young males picking at the words of someone who has experience they don't understand.
Haha here we go with your repetitive, condescending, elitist actions again. I certainly dont have as much overall life and relationship experience as you but thats no reason to discredit me now is it?
Wait until you are an adult independent in the world with AS, no disability, no one to take care of you. Then take an inappropriate, incompatible person in your life while trying to support yourself and maintain your functioning. When you start having meltdowns, etc, can't hold onto your job, it's only your own fault, and to say that NTs have the same problem is to ignore that AS don't have the same social and relationship strengths and weaknesses as "every sane human"
I have a spine to hold my self up which has been beaten (figuratively of course) into me since I was a child, Im not the 15 year old in school who has to have an assistant, has meltdowns everyday, has his mommy cook him a special lunch, I function like every NT you will see with the exception of thinking different and outside of the box. Put me in a room with 20 kids my age and try and pic me [the kid with aspergers] out, you would have quite some trouble. You have a sterotypical aspie stuck in your head, you think EVERY one of us lacks the ability to put forward our intelligence to gain something, you are sadly mistaken.
You don't get my frame of reference, but you feel comfortable, with your 15 years of age, passing judgment on words that you cannot possibly understand yet. You have no way of understanding the significance of having a bad match disrupt your life, for an independent, employed adult AS.
Words? I understand your vocabulary quite well I dont see how that is relevant, especially sense even if I did have trouble understanding your words (Which I dont) I could google it.
It is worse than pointless to be on this forum. It's painfully cognitively dissonant for me to be on this so dominated by teenaged/young male AS, giving out "advice" to other AS. If you think my opinions are comments are so easily trivialized by you, that only underlines the need to have someplace where more mature, functional AS can speak about these subjects without the interference of the mistaken. The gang of teenaged/young males who have come here and dumped on this thread are an example of dominating but mistaken voices who only dominate by virtue of their aggression and sense of entitlement as majority voices on the site. And not dominating because they are right or know anything about what they are talking about.
It's takes too much time and energy to try to get any points across, when talk about Love & Dating is screened and dominated by virgin teenaged AS boys. Here, as nowhere else in the world and without any justification whatsoever, they are the dominating voices and set the agenda and create the environment on Love & Dating discussion.
It is worse than pointless, it is self-defeating for a sexually active, mature female to be on this forum.
This will probably be my last post... so you can get your last words in without fear of your words being held to any test of reality or rationality.
By the way, I havent posted a single infamous "OMG NEED A GF" thread you speak of so if your thinking about profiling me think again.
EDIT: By the way, "Holding a job" is going to be fairly easy as I plan to use my skills in the US Army, I plan on attending West Point and thats a very real possibility as I am very involved with my community, I dont ostracize myself.
:Edited:
_________________
"The world is dying; time to suit up"
Last edited by Zane on 27 Dec 2008, 3:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
That explains quite a bit, and it is sad that you would find a need to disguise your gender to have a logical discussion with someone (sad on their part, not yours).
It is sad that the feminists on this site have forced LPP to have to pose as a woman... how sad for him that he has experienced that as a young male telling them how to interpret their experiences, experiences he does not share or understand. They (we) are sad, bad people. If LPP shifted his attention to black people, and felt he could behave that way toward black activist posters and their opinions and ideas about their black experience, he would get less sympathy. If he acted this way toward black issues as he does toward women's issues, his behavior would be seen in an totally different light. Somehow it is acceptable for males to marginalize women's opinions, even when their opinions are about their own woman's experiences with men.
The young female groupies who cheerlead young male chauvinists are so absurd; they don't realize that their desire to be popular with the boys is kind of transparent to older feminists. That is most obvious in the Love & Dating forum. So it isn't even necessary to discuss the young women's views since they automatically and submissively track those of the young/teen male groupthink from which the young females get their orientation of what is permissible and what is not okay to say or think about Love and Dating. Young NT females learn early on that they have to embrace the views of the boy chauvinists and cheerlead them, to be popular. You can hear more young women bad-mouthing feminism than you hear young males, trying to distance themselves from those bad women who they claim hate men. I never did cheerlead male chauvinism to fit in, even for Love & Dating, and it kind of surprises me how extensive that behavior is among young AS women. I thought it was an NT thing, but I guess not.
Riddle me this Batman : How is a woman so cut throat about LPP "labling" people for his arguments purpose able to do the exact same thing using the "black" comunity?
But I digress, obviously Miss E is not willing to see anyones side but her own or those who aggree with her ... it is sad a person with such a high IQ who prefers to call others out on poor cognative skills can not step back up from her own inner issues and see the true light in the discussion.
I may be younger than you and I may have a lower IQ than you but at least I am mature enough to realize every one deserves an opinion and that each person represents themselves not anyone else.
-Zane
_________________
"The world is dying; time to suit up"
Last edited by Zane on 30 Dec 2008, 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Have to agree on this. I was surprised to see that thread not locked.
Airborne
Snowy Owl
Joined: 7 Nov 2008
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 157
Location: United States Of America
Thinking that all men think like this is totally sexist. I dont view all girls as sex objects. Get over your self you pompous, sexist, morally corrupt person you have NO clue what your talking. You think Im some apthetic, horny, testorone pumped, punk ass teenager with zero caring for others. But the fact is your bleeding your heart out about s**t that wont effect you if you just get out.
Wow thats rude. Im getting attacked by a bitchy, self-pittying, imbelcilic, moron who is uderally sexist and corrupt minded.
Alright, now actually reading the whole thread, I've come to this conclusion:
You don't get your information from all one place. If you want something very specific, you're going to have to search for it and discuss it there but often times, you just have to take what you can. In this forum, you're going to have people with ASD's and they are all going to participate. There are some places with rules but to make a single forum with so many individual rules is the least productive thing you can do if you actually want to discuss.
Take this thread for example, there is a number of responses being had from what you might call immature to mature. It isn't about maturity - not one bit. It's about respect and respect for one's opinions and what they have to say and to take them courteously. You cannot expect to flippantly disregard others opinions as being immature if you cannot handle them. Maybe you should read them and try looking at them as not so much attacks but rather as suggestions.
The adult forum is not so much about mature discussion but rather mature subject matrial. Being able to openly discuss about sex and other such subjects.
For mature living discussion, use the In-Depth Adult Forum.
:OffTopic:
_________________
"The world is dying; time to suit up"
Last edited by Zane on 30 Dec 2008, 7:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
:Unnescicary:
_________________
"The world is dying; time to suit up"
Last edited by Zane on 30 Dec 2008, 7:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just because people attack you doesn't mean they are virgins
and on the other side just because someone here isn't a virgin doesn't mean they have much more to contribute than the virgin/teenage ones
I have been viewing these forums for a few years, and to sum up all I have learned I would say they should be viewed as entertainment only...
That explains quite a bit, and it is sad that you would find a need to disguise your gender to have a logical discussion with someone (sad on their part, not yours).
It is sad that the feminists on this site have forced LPP to have to pose as a woman... how sad for him that he has experienced that as a young male telling them how to interpret their experiences, experiences he does not share or understand. They (we) are sad, bad people. If LPP shifted his attention to black people, and felt he could behave that way toward black activist posters and their opinions and ideas about their black experience, he would get less sympathy. If he acted this way toward black issues as he does toward women's issues, his behavior would be seen in an totally different light. Somehow it is acceptable for males to marginalize women's opinions, even when their opinions are about their own woman's experiences with men.
it is sad that gender or race, or skin color becomes an issue in whether or not a person's comments are valid.. Though it is typically human.
It seems that only in math can a person's comments and work stand alone, regardless of who they are.
It is sad that that you fixate on gender (and oddly enough on skin color though it is not something you have ever experienced).
It is sad that you would take my comments are being more important or worth more than his comments because I have a vagina and he has a penis.
I have been around way too many feminists to know that the moment a man opens his mouth it is all man-bashing... but a woman could say they same thing (exact same thing) and the comments are viewed in a different light. Why? because of her gender. The comments are no more or less valid... you personally view them as more valid because of something as silly as gender.
Which is why I view feminists as being more often than not... prejudiced. Only considering remarks as being valid if they are from a woman... and that kind of prejudice was something that original feminism fought against.
irony.
Modern feminism is dead, slowly decaying into a monster it used to fight.
But I need to bow out as me and feminists do not mix.
I am not a feminist or anti-feminist. Frankly, I think that some women who identify themselves as feminists today are anything but pro-woman, but just have found a niche for themselves in the liberal activist universe for that label. I was as horrified as any gun-toting NRA guy when the liberal feminists started declaring that Sarah Palin wasn't a true woman if she hunted and killed animals. Mostly, I think that any discussion about feminism devolves into people who come across as sexists complaining about people who come across as neurotic liberals and vice versa.
I am simply trying to figure out how to find/contribute to a forum where a minority view is neither offensive nor marginalized/belittled. Since you fixated on gender/feminism instead of the obvious other issues raised in the thread, like how Love & Dating opinions tend to be true only for some demographics and false for others. There is not only that problem in Love & Dating (many statements are true/helpful for one (age) group while being false/undermining for another (age) group). But there is also the problem where you have people who have been mistreated by members of one group (e.g. men or women) speaking on issues along with members of that group, who might resent some of the things said.
While it is always possible to simple avoid confrontation, it seems to me that people aren't getting the answers they seek because the discussion isn't frank or confrontational enough to explore these communications dilemmas. Especially in a forum where people have communications disorders, like myself. I think it's good that mystyc raised some of the questions he did by expressing his frustration. It's good to avoid confrontation and verbal disagreements, but when the people aren't getting answers, it's also good to see that is happening and maybe look into why. The smart young men on this forum shouldn't be made to feel more depressed and frustrated by those who are trying to help.
Perhaps one way to say that the young males aren't getting some of what they could benefit from in this forum is to say, "Why don't they understand what women/older Aspies mean when they say 'be yourself'"? Some males, apparently, are so frustrated by this advice they say it makes them feel inadequate or hopeless to hear it.
Why don't we have a challenge to see who can explain this better -- "Be Yourself" -- as advice that some males have complained they don't understand and that doesn't help them figure out how to behave?
Like Dueling Threads clearing up the whole "Be Yourself" question and explaining how to apply that advice?
I bet the most successful "Explaining Be Yourself" thread will be one in which you have a diversity of voices and opinions from a diversity of age/sex/experience levels. Ones in which the women speak up and disagree with the men who wave off their comments, instead of just subsiding into silence.
now this advice is much more logical. I retract my last remark. You are not always insane.
I am just not sure exactly how purposeful starting a very specific thread for a very specific demographic would be. Such as starting a thread for only high functioning high IQ Aspies over 25.
I think it would be more beneficial to get together a group of people to post advice for people of all ages and all demographics, but with each post- preface the post for which demographic it aims for, so that all people can feel like they belong and can participate.
Otherwise it comes across as a little "middle-aged white male with money can post here" otherwise go somewhere else. I would much rather see a thread where people can logically discuss the similarities and differences between what each person faces and how each person can improve.
Last edited by Shiggily on 27 Dec 2008, 7:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The fact of there being something wrong with someone who pushes their arguments against the minority experiences of a minority class, who has an experience base they don't share, is pretty common in discrimination and anti-discrimination literature and discussion. It's not uncommon to run into self-appointed debunkers of minority experience, who are often white guys, who feel unashamed and free to insist that their clear opinions about the statements of minorities are persecution delusions. I can't tell you how many times in the Deep South I heard some young white guy say that there isn't really any problem with racial discrimination anymore, and that they knew this because they never saw any racism going on among any people they knew. As if, being young white males, they would experience a lot of racism or others who were racist would engage in their behavior openly.
Your strong opinions, unsupported by any supporting reasoning or points, are knee-jerk anti-feminism, which is very common among young women.
And I don't think your opinions are more important than LPP's (as you state in the above next post) because you have a vagina. I think I made clear that I think it's worth less because you will only follow what the males say and do, taking your permission for what is good and bad opinion from them. I actually said that in my post so you should reread it. It is the young males who tend to have real opinions and voices, while many young females are their followers, and embrace young male chauvinism and demonize feminists, to be more popular. I can't say that I find your opinions to be more important than LPP's since they are LPP's opinions you mirror.
The young male antifeminine groupthink group is trying to tag me and my posts a certain way, without any real coherent argument or basis in fact. There is no way you could have gotten that I think your opinion is more important than LPPs if you read my post. Not even reading my posts clearly, but just trying to frame them in a way that meets the bias that you wish to project on an opposition view.
And in your posts, every other one, almost, you keep referring to math, as if you live in the world of rationality. I am more of a science professional, having actually worked with math as a career. I am not a substitute teacher always talking about the rational, clear world of math.
There is a difference between the clarity of actual problem-solving mentality and the sensation of clarity one gets from insular, comfort-zone thinking. Math is the first kind of clarity, stupidity is the second kind of clarity.
I'd rather be insane than lame.
It just seems that you are a little paranoid. That you think that attractive women have man-haters stalking their every move spreading lies about them. That young males are all out to get you and you must fight them at every turn or else you will become a Stepford wife zombie.
Actually many young white males are not racist and because they are not, they fail to see racism around them. You have to understand than many guys do not always understand implied meaning. They many fail to see racism if it is subtle. My husband did not think racism was as big of an issue because everywhere he lived, he did not see anyone being racist. That was until he went down South and for the first time, saw how overt racism can be.
I find it odd that you think I only do what men want. Quite the opposite. I refused to allow anyone to dictate my life, be they man or woman. Many women do not follow what the males say and do, taking their permission for what is good and bad opinion from them. Just because a woman is not feminist does not mean she is a robot of anti-feminist males. You seem to think there are only two sides, the men and their female robots, and the real women and their feminist ideals. Perhaps women like me, who can compromise, think rationally, and work together with men... without losing their sense of self and independence... perhaps we are more woman than the feminists.
So because my views do not agree with yours. I am a woman-hating man-slave zombie who only mirrors views of men to please them and to be more popular. Which is sad because my views do not make me more popular, nor do I want to be popular... as I do not like having too many people around me.
I like the attempted dig at me being a substitute, while you are a career science professional. Doesn't bother me much, substituting is a job so that I can make money and become a teacher, so that I can afford to get my Phd and then move on to teaching college. So I don't really see how a job somehow makes you more rational. Thinking rationally makes you more rational. Math is my obsession, the thing that makes my world ordered and calm, my escape from it all. I can't help it if that comes out in my posts. I can't help it if you do not like that.
But dismiss my views however you please. If it is because you think I am a robotic man slave. Because I am not pro-feminism. Because I am a substitute teacher... whatever floats your boat.
she is pro-feminism, but she doesn't want to be labeled as such. Though from her posts I would say she borders radical feminism and liberal feminism.
I am more of a "women are people" post-feminist that believes that feminism is marginally relevant in today's society and because of that it ends up arguing over tiny things in an effort to achieve domination instead of equality. Which is silly because men and women are rarely "equal". Instead I find that each gender has contributions to be made and that the contributions should be held as equal.
Or as one of my professors in math told me (yes I am referencing math, I am sorry it applies)... It doesn't matter if you are crazy, gay, straight, white, black, man, woman, or alien... your ideas should stand alone.
though that doesn't seem to happen much in today's society. We seem to dismiss ideas based on irrelevant facts about the person offering the ideas. Instead of evaluating the ideas, we evaluate the person.
