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Why is it that the nice guys finish last?

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b9
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10 Sep 2009, 10:59 am

maybe "nice" can also mean "unprotesting", and therefore prone to "cowardly" acceptance of things they are not truly happy with.

maybe it is the demureness of "niceness" that is unsavory to me.
i have no idea.

Merle
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14 Sep 2009, 3:43 am

Quote:

Why is it that the nice guys finish last?

In all things in life, there's a certain amount of risk and chance which should be taken. Walking out the house, going to a job interview, taking a vacation.

Most nice guys don't have the balls to ask the hot girl out, make the first move and risk pissing people off.

They don't finish last, but they won't finish first.

b9
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14 Sep 2009, 10:49 am

nice guys spend time learning how to be nice, and bad guys do not.
therefore, bad guys start the race for "territory" far in advance of nice guys, and by the time the nice guys are ready to "strut their stuff", the bad guys have already "fleeced the market".

sorry i am not sure where that came from in my head, but i will push the "submit button" anyway.........after i say that i have met some girls that are very special and are not seduced by musky apes.
they are very few (and far between), so they are very special indeed.

Merle
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14 Sep 2009, 1:31 pm

b9 wrote:

nice guys spend time learning how to be nice, and bad guys do not.
therefore, bad guys start the race for "territory" far in advance of nice guys, and by the time the nice guys are ready to "strut their stuff", the bad guys have already "fleeced the market".

To add, the bad guy gets the full range of experience (meeting, dating, courtship, breakup) early and learn all aspects of it. The nice guy is still trying to do the nice guy approach to meeting & dating. When it comes time to go with a full on press, they're lacking in practical experience.

angelicgoddess
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14 Sep 2009, 3:11 pm

For a woman:

nice and agreeable is what you want your son to be.

a good potential husband is strong, protective and kind. He will take care of you and take decisions for you when you're mote vulnarable than reasonable (say for example; when you're pregnant).

Bad boys are simply better at playing the 'good husband' role (for a while at least)...

Ruchard
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16 Sep 2009, 3:41 pm

I thought people was not going to talk about this again

kingtut3
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16 Sep 2009, 5:09 pm

Girls are different and therefore have different tastes in men. Tony Attwood says that girls do like nice guys. I know a girl who's interested in emo guys. It's all a matter of the girl's taste. Nice guys have this perception that a girl wouldn't like them, and therefore won't try. That's why nice guys finish last.

Vana
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16 Sep 2009, 7:27 pm

frohman2 wrote:

I've always wondered that, it seems like the bad boy image is somehow better... I just don't get it.

Thesis + antithesis = synthesis.

"Soft spoken tough guy". Did you try that persona yet? The ladies really dig it...

idiocratik
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17 Sep 2009, 5:34 am

Everyone tends to put image above substance. So, I don't think it's a matter of how nice you are, it's how "hot" you are. If you put a guy with tats and piercings, cool hair, and stylish clothing next to a guy who doesn't have any body mods, has normal hair, and a conservative wardrobe she'll most like choose the guy with tats. Attractive women want excitement in their lives, so if you look exciting that's what she'll go for. Then the guy turns out to be a jerkface, and they break up. You might be there to play the understanding "good friend", but she'll still go after who is more physically attractive. "Nice guys" tend to be much more conservative, and that isn't appealing.

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Janissy
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17 Sep 2009, 11:04 am

idiocratik wrote:

Everyone tends to put image above substance. So, I don't think it's a matter of how nice you are, it's how "hot" you are. If you put a guy with tats and piercings, cool hair, and stylish clothing next to a guy who doesn't have any body mods, has normal hair, and a conservative wardrobe she'll most like choose the guy with tats. Attractive women want excitement in their lives, so if you look exciting that's what she'll go for. Then the guy turns out to be a jerkface, and they break up. You might be there to play the understanding "good friend", but she'll still go after who is more physically attractive. "Nice guys" tend to be much more conservative, and that isn't appealing.

I see you've assumed the man with the tats and piercings isn't a nice guy. There is no basis for that assumption. You have also assumed that nice guys tend to be more conservative. Again, no basis for that assumption. Nice guys come in all flavors. You can't tell by looking at somebody whether they are nice or not.

A nice guy is merely somebody who treats others with decency. This has nothing to do either with inherent looks or with style choices. And no- being unhiply dressed doesn't mean you aren't a jerk.

b9
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17 Sep 2009, 11:17 am

"yes" men are the ones employed to grade and sweep the track for the actual race.

MDD123
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17 Sep 2009, 2:00 pm

Tatoos definately help a guy's sex appeal, it's worked for me and I've seen it work for other guys. My roomate is a skinny guy with a big head, but he has tattoos all over his arms and chest and I can tell you he gets all kinds of attention from women. My roomate is a really nice guy, just not to the women he sticks it to.

CrinklyCrustacean
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17 Sep 2009, 2:55 pm

Ruchard wrote:

I thought people was not going to talk about this again

So did I, but since we are... maybe it's all a matter of perception and, in fact, the nice guys don't all finish last. It all seems to depend on what you define as a 'nice guy'.

hartzofspace
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17 Sep 2009, 7:07 pm

Personally, I am not an admirer of tatoos. I am not attracted to guys who have gotten carried away with them, either. What I mean, is where they have gotten so much ink done, that they look like some alien species with odd skin.

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Merle
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17 Sep 2009, 7:53 pm

Tatoo's and piercings help. It's an attention getter and a topic of conversation. Switch the roles around. You see a h4wt girl and want to strike up a conversation. Analyze what she's doing and you ask her about it. Same thing goes for tatoo's. You analyze the tatoo and piercing and strike up a conversation about it

"Where's a good place to get ink'd?"
"Where did you get that?"
"What does it mean?"
"Did that hurt?"
"Got any other hidden tats or piercings?"

Compare this to a guy sitting in a coffee house (e.g. I'm at Starbucks writing on wrongplanet.net and avoiding Skype pop-ups because people from work are trying to 'conversate')

"Hey, whatcha doing?"
<crickets>

Big difference.

polymathpoolplayer
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18 Sep 2009, 2:52 am

MDD123 wrote:

Tatoos definately help a guy's sex appeal, it's worked for me and I've seen it work for other guys. My roomate is a skinny guy with a big head, but he has tattoos all over his arms and chest and I can tell you he gets all kinds of attention from women. My roomate is a really nice guy, just not to the women he sticks it to.

That's mostly a generational thing. Most under 30 say yes and those over 45 say no.

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