I hate my life

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Do you? Ok. Here is advice without the platitudes you are tired of.

I'm not going to tell you to be yourself. Right now yourself is too angry, bitter, and in a "shopping for a girlfriend but can't find one" mode to attract women. You can't be that guy and attract a woman. Women don't want an angry or bitter man because such a man is no fun to be with at best and scary at worst. Women don't want to be "shopped for" (unless they have joined an internet dating service) because that is impersonal and reduces them to a possession you want to acquire rather than a fellow human you want to relate to. If that is yourself right now, you can't be yourself. Instead, try to be the guy you must have been at some point in the past before you started actively trying. Try to let go of your anger and bitterness and find that guy again, even if he was just 7 year old you sharing a cupcake with a girl at lunch. That guy is in there somewhere and you have to bring him to the surface.

I'm also not going to tell you to wait and the right girl will come along. She's not going to just fall into your lap but your also going to repel her by being in "shopping for a girlfriend" mode. It seems like an irresolvable paradox, doesn't it? So you sidestep. You don't "look for a girlfreind". Instead you talk to people and get to know them. Not just girls you are attracted to but also girls you are not attracted to. You are not leading them on because you are not looking for a date. You are just a friendly person making connections with the people around you. If you singlemindedly only talk to women you would want to date and also only talk to those women with the goal of getting a date (or a girlfriend), your chances go down. (This is absolutely counter to some other advice you are likely to get but give it a try anyway). Instead just be friendly to anyone. Don't look for a date. Talk to women...and men... with no goal in mind other than getting to know them better. In this way, you meet and get to know a woman who will be attracted to you without making her feel like an acquisition on a shopping list, but instead like a human you want to get to know better.

^ Bravo! That is good advice.

This advice is probably the best for you to listen to... the one woman that has ever even given me a chance was friends with me for three years (with neither of us even thinking about a relationship when we met each other and for most of those three years)...

I think the problem is that you are having difficulty articulating what you need.

"Help" is vague. I can't package up a girlfriend and mail her to you.

What I can do is share my own experience, for what it's worth.

I have never, repeat--never, found a romantic partner in a bar, or a classroom. Where I have found romantic partners is in non-dating situations. People who are involved in the same volunteer or extra-curricular activities as I am have always been easier for me to talk to and to get to know. Obviously not all women who share your interests are going to be single (but let's face it, not all the men who shared my interest were gay--let alone single!). I met my current partner when he was the lighting designer on a show that I was appearing in. He asked me out and the rest is history.

All of which is to say, get out of the house and pursue your interests.

I can understand your anger at the whole "You'l get your turn, the right girl will come along" etc, because imo that is stupid, meaningless ramble with no truth to it whatsoever.

I won't say anything else, Janissy has given you wonderful advice in here.

I just wanted you to know you aren't the only one who thinks people who say those corny phrases would be better off keeping their mouths shut.

Thank you all who are actually helping, I will try to take to this advice to heart.

By far the best advice I feel you have gotten to accomplish your main goal has come from Janissy.

A little more than 10 years ago I had given up on having a meaningful relationship and (unwittingly) did just as Janissy has advised you to do. Then out of the blue there she was, the person I had previously been waiting for, sitting in my living room. She came to me and I didn't even have to look for her at all. A mutual friend introduced us. However, there is a downside here. About 3 months ago I discovered the affair she has been having.

I can promise you this: the loneliness I felt back then is NOTHING compared to the pain I am feeling now.

I don't want to discourage you, just please be careful and don't throw yourself at just any person that shows an interest in you.

There is a lot of nonsense out there, but you can still find good advice. My advice is to continue to tough it out. Don't actively look, but put yourself in a lot of activities where you'll be around women your age. There's no use waiting for someone to come along at a Star Trek convention, but you're bound to stumble into someone working at an animal shelter.

That's really the 'hidden message' behind the 'don't look' advice. You shouldn't, but that advice is inherently assuming you've got social activities putting you around women your age, with your interests. That's what NTs will try to tell you, and it's what I'm telling you now.

Besides that, try to find something to be happy about. Find a way to enjoy life, or at the very least fake your enjoyment enough to be convincing. Compassionate women take care of wounded animals, not fall in love with them.

Aside from the platitudes, there is some somewhat descent advice given here. There are no simple explanations to a lot of life's problems.

I hate cliches like 'cheer up', 'there are plenty of fish in the sea', or 'you just have to wait'. Something I wish I could have told myself years back would have been to realize how absolutely awful dating really is and how sh***y people can be. Human beings are animals, and aside from a small minority of human beings, dating is all about social dominance and getting needs met.

Pursue your interests without trying to meet someone, and just get to know people. At the same time, trust no one and don't let anyone waste your time or tell you what to do, and don't bother with trying to make people like you or try to change yourself for them. I am at a point where I am much more concerned about preserving my dignity and mental integrity than dealing with loneliness.

If you ever feel angry, realize that you ought to be, but channel it into a focused laser beam and find the right targets. This world truly is not a good place. The majority of human interactions are based around some form of exploitation. I fight for social justice, but I am also ruthless and prudent, and I think outside the box. No one will ever save you or anyone else. Inevitably, people have to save themselves.

Very wise words, Comrade