I give up

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I don't think this is conducive to the openness that you need in in order to draw someone in. Have you considered stopping making lists? Working on your own self, just for the progress of it, and doing engaging things you like - outdoors, or groups.

I also feel that my religious and political beliefs have doomed me, but I made a vow never to post in PPR again on here.

It is you. You have this very rigid criteria about what kind of woman you want. Aspie women are in the minority. The chances are very slim and when you do find one, very little chance she will still meet your criteria.

Even if I dropped the other criteria, and the only criteria was that she be an Aspie, my chances are still near zero.

NTs don't want me because I don't make enough money, don't have a fancy car, and I'm overweight. Aspies would tolerate these things.

There used to be about 30 female Aspies on WP alone who were single *and* liked the things I like (I am on several other groups as well). Yet every one of them either left the forums or found someone else.

I've heard of people whose lists were even more ridiculous. I know one person who expects never to give emotional support, and expects no burdens or inconveniences in a relationship.

Even I think that's ridiculous.

About half of the people I talk to about this say "Keep trying, she exists, you just need to be patient". Yet the other half says "Give up, she doesn't exist."

The fact is, you're a sub-par looking guy who admittedly doesn't have much going for him. What makes you a catch to this hypothetical Aspie woman that loves sex and South Park, even if she existed?

If it seems like I get mad when these "I can't get the girl of my dreams" threads are made, it's because I personally had to do a lot of work to improve myself enough to get in the dating scene. And I still have drawbacks that would turn off some women, but I've made myself as good looking and interesting as I possibly could. As a result, ironically, I'm less needy and the idea of meeting "the one" is just something I think about like anything else instead of the number one focus.

Guys like you and Toad, even if you met your dream women and they accepted your looks and lifestyle, you'd turn them off with your neediness and fastidiousness.

I have tried improving myself as well, but it's still not good enough. It's like these people have their own idea of a dream guy, and I am not it.

Then like other people have said, drop the list and find someone that loves you for you. It's realistic to find a woman that might not watch South Park on her own, but will tolerate you watching it, and will have a high sex drive. She just probably won't be Aspie or great looking. And you said you're borderline Aspie anyway, not full-fledged.

The biggest bit of self-improvement you could do is dropping the infamous List. As long as The List exists, you are unlikely to be any woman's dream guy because quite honestly very few women long for the day when they will finally meet a man who loves that they fulfill a certain very rigid list of criteria. Just like men, women want to be loved for themselves, not for the criteria they meet. Drop The List and you will instantly become more desirable.

Also, I'm not sure how old your avatar pic is...but I'd get a shorter haircut. The high fade has been out since the 90s. I don't mean this as an insult, I mean a shorter haircut would make you instantly more attractive to women.

Why would she not be an Aspie?

I make a lot of money, have a fancy car, and am in excellent shape. And I'm in the same spot as you.

Personality is what makes it (at least in the USA). Never give up, give freely but know how to receive graciously, relax, keep a list of witty sayings and jokes, and be very patient in building your network. Building that network takes a ton of effort and time from us, but it gets us into the NT realm.

I got dumped this week because - of all things - I live in the wrong city. *sigh*

Last edited by KnightGhost on 16 Jan 2010, 10:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Because the numbers aren't in your favor. It's a math game.

And tim, there are NT's out there that will be more accepting of aspies than others...

*hmmms*