Aspie or not?

Post Reply New Topic

The "emotion cards/notes" are usually used by parents to help the severely autistic kids (asperger is a joke compared to this kind of autism), talk to his mom, she surely knows the truth.

I remember my LFA brother did those. Maybe I'll get him that iPad app instead.

My problem is that people can read my emotions. I kinda can, but I look for more obvious cues - I mostly rely on tone of voice.

Thanks for all responses.

What is LFA? Sorry I am new to all these concepts.

Long back we went to 5 days trip, I noticed him doing exercise every 1 hour. All those 5 days I did not see them carrying notes. After this trip I did go 2 days trip but I did not see him exercise every hour but I see him carrying the notes.

Is it hard to live with this kind of people? Do they understand the feelings of Love? How can I help this relationship? If he is really a jerk I would leave right now, but since he is not doing intentionally I would work with him. Please advice.

LFA = Low Functioning Autistic, stereotypical autistics that you see Autism Speaks has a focus on

The exercises and notes you see him carrying are a way for him to "stim" or putting it in context, a way to stimulate his brain. People on the autism spectra will do this to stimulate their brains since we are neurologically "miswired". I stim too, either by pacing, squirming in my seat or shaking my legs.

If you feel this relationship can be salvaged, go for it. However, keep in mind that people with AS can be sensitive in both the emotional and psychological sense of the word. If you're open about about, I'm sure you can make some progress. However, it might be hard for both sides to drop the axe so to speak - I know you said something how he struggles to initiate intimacy, and you're having trouble getting your message across.

He sounds intelligent, we both are in Software Fields. On the other day I was teaching him some programming, and he learnt so quickly. He is a quick learner.

If they are emotional sensitive, then how should I discuss with him. I dont know how he will react. Since he did not say anything to me so far, may be he is not comfortable talking to me. I am not sure whether I should talk to his mom, but again I dont know much about her.

It looks like a puzzle. Does AS people dont disclose about what they to their friends? Usually how they react if someone talks to them about this?

Depends on the person. I disclose my AS to certain people. Most don't due to fear of losing their friends faster.

This actually brings up a good point. Many people on the autistic spectrum have issues keeping friends, and as such can be reticent to express themselves sometimes. If you tell him explicitly that you will stand by him, and then more importantly prove it over the next few months and/or years, he should open up to you more. The degree of openness can vary from case to case, but generally autistics like familiarity (and dislike the unknown)...

My friend advices me to just write a letter with is bothering me and give to him, so that he will read everything in front of me and answer. Is that is a good idea?

I always think that talking to somebody is better than a letter, because you can convey better your feelings and you can wait for him to reply to each thing you say. It is also more personal and more loving. But this is just my opinion.

It makes sense AndreaLuna. The reason to write letter was since it is very sensitive matter thought it is easy to deliver the message in the letter. But you are right, it is always better to talk to him. All this week he seems very busy and hardly we were in touch. Usually he calls me during weekend. If I meet him this weekend, planning to talk to him, no matter what happens.

\

The problem autistics have in this regard is that they might either miss certain non-verbal detail entirely, or be overwhelmed by it. The whole letter-writing thing allows an autistic to process everything at his own pace, and in a way he understands...

Oh ok. Since talking to him directly is the best option, I will try that.

I am not sure how is he going to react?

@ ToadOfSteel, would you say that it is better a letter for somebody with Asperger as well? I always feel that the NT is left wondering what the other person thought, since the Aspie is unlikely to respond or to express his feelings about it. Is there a sensible way for her, after she gives him the letter, to know what his thoughts are and where he stands? Should she just wait for him to say something? Should she ask? Should she set up a time a few days later, after he has processed everything, when they can talk?

Whatever his reaction is, don't expect it to be immediate. Autistics take time to process emotional information...

Oh ok.

So many times when I talk about something he just says I dont want to talk about this. For example, when I say just to make conversation, "Are you working tomorrow?", and he says I dont want to talk about that. Or when I say after I leave what are you planning to do? he says I dont want to talk about it and I really dont like to plan something and do according to that, I dont enjoy if I plan. Anything related to work he just stops the conversation by saying "I dont want to talk about that"

On the other we were walking and I was talking to him something, all of a sudden he said "Can we stop talking for sometime?" I said ok, for 15 mins we did not talk anything and the he sat somewhere, I sat next to him, after few mins he said do u want to go to the car? I said is everything is alright, he said yes, I need to get something from my friend but he did not, so I just want to be quiet. It was really weird to me.

Lets say tomorrow when I talk to him, what if he says I dont want to talk about this. Should I stop or continue?

You tell him that it is very very important to you to talk to him and if this is not a good time, you can set up another time. How old are you guys? Age may make a difference here too in how you can handle yourself with him.