She's Pure, He's a Loser : The Sexual Double Standard

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Ikonovich
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21 Feb 2011, 9:39 pm

Chronos wrote:

Both of these double standards were created by men of ancient times.

In some of the religions that preceded the proto-judaic religions, and existed around the same time that judaism was developing, women would engage in fertility rights, in which they would spend some time as a temple prostitute, giving sexual favors to men in exchange for money or other resources. This wasn't seen as a negative thing and these actions may have been thought to ensure fertility, both in terms of harvest and children.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_prostitution

The man who came up with that custom and convinced women to actually follow it was a genius.

Subotai
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22 Feb 2011, 2:23 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Ok ok , we all know already about the "She's Slut , He's a Ladies-man" double-standards.... but those are in other threads.

The question here is , why often the word 'loser' is used to describe males? (non-independent men, men with no job , lazy men .....etc). Sure such women with the same qualities do exist too, but they aren't called losers as often.

and why in particular , men who are involuntary virgins are called losers ?

Is involuntary virginity in men an overall red flag sign of the man's "loserness"? and how accurate this sign is? Is the man's incapability of attracting any woman is a loser sign?

And why involuntary virginity in women are usually justified as "she's waiting for Mr. Right" or "There's no good men in my whole area" , and not as "loserness"?

Because men can't get pregnant. It's animal instinct.

zen_mistress
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22 Feb 2011, 2:26 am

Women may not get called losers but they get called other nice things- "dried up" "Cougars" "spinsters" "frigid" and many, many other adjectives and nouns. I dont know why you think being single as a female invites some kind of high status it doesnt offer males.

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Subotai
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22 Feb 2011, 2:35 am

For the record my post was addressing the whole slut/player issue

hale_bopp
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22 Feb 2011, 4:11 am

zen_mistress wrote:

Thats correct to be honest.

LordoftheMonkeys
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22 Feb 2011, 4:46 am

Not only that, but you can't complain about the double-standard, or else people think you're a whiney bit¢h and therefore even more of a loser.

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22 Feb 2011, 6:32 am

There's a double standard because men and women are actually different.

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emlion
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22 Feb 2011, 8:51 am

Moog wrote:

There's a double standard because men and women are actually different.

No! They must be equal in every aspect of everything! Gosh, Moog.

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22 Feb 2011, 11:37 am

A large part of the construction of masculinity involves a man's ability to bed a lot of women,
whereas there's no counterpart requirement for women to be considered feminine.

Excellent point about the flipside of the stud/whore double standard.

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22 Feb 2011, 11:38 am

Ikonovich wrote:

Chronos wrote:

The man who came up with that custom and convinced women to actually follow it was a genius.

You DO know that such societies were largely MATRIARCHAL, right? :roll:

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Feb 2011, 12:22 pm

Quote:

The only way out of this trap is to not scorn/praise for adherence to or deviance from the standard. That means any men who don't want to be called "loser" for virginity have to refrain from calling women "slut" for lack of same, and vice versa

I don't call sexually active or promiscuous women as sluts yet I will still be seen as loser by many men and women. This doesn't get me out of this trap.

Your suggested solution is over-simplistic and unrealistic :-/

Virgin men are not being called losers because some of them are calling promiscuous women as sluts, there's no correlation between the 2 naming.

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22 Feb 2011, 12:35 pm

Quote:

"I dont know why you think being single as a female invites some kind of high status it doesnt offer males."

No, I don't think so. I already explained what frigid used for.

But the debate here is about virginity , not marriage.

The spinster naming is used for unmarried adult women over certain age.

Women are praised for their family status (married + children) while men are praised for their sexual status.

A stud man yet unmarried is not called a negative name, while it's not the case for the woman.

The situation becomes the opposite when it comes to the sexual status, and this is what the thread mostly about.

While both labels are bad labels, the spinster labeling is on decline and being fought by feminist movements, while the loser label is on growing trend in real life and even in the media . and nothing is fighting it . Just watch the modern sitcoms and see how many times the socially inept / geek / single / virgin / socially clueless male characters are often called 'losers' . the 'losers' in those sitcoms are usually those male characters who can't find a date / can't have a dance / can't have a gf/ are virgin.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 22 Feb 2011, 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Feb 2011, 12:38 pm

LordoftheMonkeys wrote:

Not only that, but you can't complain about the double-standard, or else people think you're a whiney bit¢h and therefore even more of a loser.

Oh, I am aware that some might even called me a loser while reading this thread. :roll:

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22 Feb 2011, 12:51 pm

emlion wrote:

Moog wrote:

There's a double standard because men and women are actually different.

No! They must be equal in every aspect of everything! Gosh, Moog.

I agree. I think men should push out half the babies and have half the periods. Women should lift half of the heavy objects and hunt half the mammoths. Like seahorses.

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22 Feb 2011, 1:58 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

The thing is, it is the same thing. It is about status in society. For males it is about sexual prowess and for females it is about being able to be in a relationship. IT DOESNT MATTER because if you are single and over 25 you will have this problem whether you are a virgin or not or which gender you are, you will still be seen as somebody who has not found success and therefore lower status. You have no idea about the pressures on women to get married and have kids. It is just the same as the pressure on males. And it doesnt matter what feminist groups do, from my point of view nothing has changed.

The only thing that both genders can do is throw off these chains society has imposed upon us.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Feb 2011, 3:04 pm

zen_mistress wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

I agree , not being in a relationship for so long is the same as virgin.

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