Waiting

Post Reply New Topic

Yea, she's feeling emptiness , she's feeling that her present is meaningless because she thinks, at this rate, that the future would be meaningless too, she's just waiting for a meaning for life to appear somehow.

yes, true. i completely agree.

how do you keep from feeling like you are just waiting?

Awww... I am disappointed.

Yes it is complicated, what I am feeling. I dont know if it is described as emptiness, more that the future sort of is formless and doesnt make any sense, it doesnt have any structure, and the present is full of so much empty time I dont know what to do with it.

As Toad Of Steel says, I have a lot of time to fill, and right now I am working on filling my days up with enough *stuff* to provide the illusion that I have a normal life.

i think i might know what you mean. the busier i am, the happier i am.

Yeah, I meditate! It's great, no minute of life is wasted. Be here now.

Yes but I have far more hours to use than can be filled with meditation!

Up to a point yeah...but I feel like I perfer that sometimes.

The fact that you posted this thread in this section and not in any other indicate that the source of that feeling is the lack of love life, you want someone to share life with and without that someone you're feeling the way (I call it emptiness, you think it's something else, it doesn't matter) you described.

PS: Emptiness isn't depression, but it's a form of living in indifference, just surviving time.

Yes, it is a feeling that I dont have someone to share my life with, and make plans, so it can be difficult to make plans for the future as I dont know what is going to happen.

But it is more than that, it is a sort of existential ennui. I was in a relationship last year and I felt this,

even worse than I do now actually because I feel the ennui now but it is not being compounded by feeling the crap feeling you do in a failing relationship.

Good strategy. I'm sort of hampered by all the fun brain fog I deal with, so I can only exert myself mentally so much for so long before my head just feels like it wants to spin like a top/explode like a time bomb, but I do play games, post on/read WP, check out book reviews on Amazon, watch TV, etc, although I can't shake the apathy I do feel entirely. I mean, my interest can be engaged to an extent, but I'm certainly emotionally nonreactive, more or less.

Also, for whatever it's worth, you have another person who you can add to the list of people who understand the place you're coming from, and who understand that it is a dark place. Where I'd say I split from you is that my primary feeling is emptiness, as opposed to the feeling that the present and therefore, the future, is formless. I still have goals and things I'd like to do, not the least of which is find a person or people to love (I'm open to Polyamorous relationships. I find nothing objectionable about them.), as well as get my gemstone business on ebay up and running, self-educating myself in some sciences and expanding my library, but I feel no excitement and thus, little drive, to really work towards those goals. That said, I still can understand the whole notion that the present has no form/is senseless, same for the future, seeing as I do feel that way as well, even if that feeling may have a different origin for you than it does for me. Even to the extent you, I, or anybody else feel that we have goals we want to eventually achieve, don't those goals feel worthless (And thus nonsensical, since a goal, something somebody strives for, should feel meaningful.) in the context of a present where it seems so hard to envision ourselves getting from point A to point B, and where we lack the motivation, energy and optimism to imagine we'll ever propel ourselves in that direction?

By the way, Best of luck to you and the other people who I'd classify as fellow travelers on this same difficult byroad in life.

Thank you, it is nice to know that I am not alone, though in many ways it would be also nice if noone felt this way.

For me it is not a feeling of emptiness that is the dominant feeling, it is a feeling of grief and broken heartedness, and a feeling of being trapped, which makes it hard for me to move on with my life.

^ this is better than the feeling of emptiness.

How is grief and broken heartedness and feeling trapped better than emptiness?

because they make you feel alive and heal way faster.

While emptiness tend to become more and more chronic with time..... I know this because I experienced the first and still experiencing the latter.

Heartbreak doesnt make me feel alive, it just makes me feel hollow, like my body is doing stuff but my heart isnt in anything, and I am just going through the motions.