Expecting a baby with a beautiful aspie man...

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I prefer another quotation:


A book of verses underneath the bough,

A jug of wine, a loaf of bread —

and thou beside me singing in the Wilderness —

Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!






















I have been read this to my lover, long, long ago..........

Well talk about derailed threads...

Back to the OP. I completely agree with The_Face_of_Boo.

Just because a man has AS doesn't mean that he won't be able to support his family. From the OP's post I understood that he's already trying to do that and it is more than some NT men do in the same situation.
I also think that OP should try to do as much as she can as well. I have no idea where you're from but in my country women usually try to do some extra work before their maternity leave because then they get more money from the state while on their maternity leave. So you should look into the legal and social security system and find out what they can offer.

I think it's very good that you care about your partner's happiness and his art but there must also be a mutual understanding that sometimes in life we must make sacrifices. Hopefully only temporary. Just make sure he knows that you care and that you appreciate his efforts.

I really hope all goes well for you

OP, you don't mention how old you and your bf are. That information would influence my response - so I'm assuming that you're both adults and at least out of school.

Look, plain and simple: a diagnosis of Asperger's in not an indicator of how employable a person is, or of how good a parent he/she might be.

There are people on this forum who are fully employed and paid well (professors, scientists, data architects, application developers, etc.). There are people who are largely unemployable. There are a number of factors that can affect how employable an Aspie may be, including his/her special interests, the severity of his/her symptoms, how how his/her symptoms could make him/her an asset to an employer - or not, etc. The list goes on an on.

IMO, it is a good sign that your bf is looking for a job. As far as being depressed, terrified, etc....those are feelings he has to work through. I would suggest that you also look for a job that you can continue throughout your pregnancy, and return to afterward. You'll likely have to work after your child arrives. I also suggest you and your bf do a fair amount of reading to educate yourselves about what to expect during your pregnancy, and after the baby arrives. Knowing as much as you both can about the journey ahead of you may also significantly reduce everyone's stress.

If you have parents who would be willing to take you in, please consider moving in with them. Not having to worry about paying rent (or a smaller rent than you would elsewhere) could do a lot to ease everyone's stress. Finally, and I feel I should mention this option, have you considered adoption? It may not be an option for you (for whatever reason), but it is a beautiful gift to give parents who are waiting (and prepared for) a child. Just a thought. I wish you good fortune.

Thanks very much everyone.. Been very helpful. Timothy did not get the job, but is looking for other openings. He is a very capable hard worker when he wants to be and has done labor jobs in the past, hes just quite disapointed that his art hasn't panned out yet and that has been our focus for the last year. I very soon will have to quit my job..I am close to 5 months along and am doing alot of heavy lifting..I have been looking temp work, but most jobs in this area are more than I can handle. I just want to bring him some peace in knowing that just because he is focusing on something else doesn't mean he has to give up on his art. Moving in with our parents is not an option, nor adoption.

Congrats on the coming baby!


As for your situation... its good he is getting an outside job to make ends meet. I would suggest you keep a constant eye for any other job opportunities for him even while he works. As a previous poster mentioned there is the risk (I hope not!) that he may not be able to maintain the job for long..so always keep job openings on watch.

Also, artists can make additional money selling their art online. A classmate of mine makes about 500 bucks a month selling paintings he makes..and he proves he paints them by recording himself painting it on his laptop webcam and letting the buyer see the video and also includes a dvd with the video along with the painting as 'proof'. Maybe Dad can try that out too.

Working is not optional for anyone who needs money, regardless of whether they are a man or a woman, and if he cannot bring in enough to support his family, she will have to work as well.

Also he already has an income coming in from disability. If he cant get much better than minimum wage with no benefits; it might be more cost effective for him not to work. I was getting SSI when I started working & for every $2 I made gross; $1 was deducted from my SSI check. After I factored in taxes, cost of transportation to & from work, clothing for work ect; I was making little more than what I would of been getting from SSI by not working. I did it because I wanted to work my way up to something better. It may be better to have him be a stay at home dad after the kid is born instead both working & the kid being put in daycare