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some people are just born with it

seriously though you'd be surprised what some ugly couples get up to in the bedroom.

theoretically, players should be less skilled since all they care about is their own satisfaction. guys with past steady relationships would have the demanded skillset, again speaking theoretically. so looks are only important to the extent of not being totally repulsive.

Last edited by anna-banana on 12 Sep 2011, 3:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

1 day/week is not the definition of friends with benefits though so sorry, your lovely car metaphor misses the point

I agree with zen mistress.

No I wouldn't.

Thanks, : )



If you needed a car for one day you would accept many cars as long as they worked, otherwise you could end up with no car.

If you were buying a car you would realise you would have this car with you for a long time so you would be a lot more discerning.

There's me thinking this thread was about unemployment in the UK. ah

Anyway, back on track

A couple of friends of mine have a very similar relationship setup and it works quite well. The thing is, i don't believe for one second that a FWB + loyalty relationship could stay in place for very long without some emotional attachment setting in on one or both sides. The only way to defer it would involve seeing other people simultaneously. OP, what you're looking for appears to be a watered-down version of a romantic relationship. At least we have a new term for the L&D glossary

My current relationship started as a FWB's situation. I was not interested in dating anyone and i had never really gotten over an ex of mine so i was not looking for love of any type or kind. However we very quickly started falling for each other and here we are as boyfriend and boyfriend.

I have had many FWB's in the past and they were all just that. No emotional attachment at all past being mates. They are a great way to get rid of pent up frustration.

I had a f*** buddy and I ain't cream of the crop. It takes two people with a certain value system.

Guys really, really like having a "friend with benefits," so you shouldn't have too much of a problem finding one.

OP-- I was going to suggest you consider an open relationship, but then I finished reading your post and saw you weren't keen on the idea. The reason you gave was you had difficulty with the thought of your partner being with other people.

I suggest you reconsider this line of thinking. An open relationship is just that-- OPEN. The honesty that comes with it is very good for someone on the spectrum, and realize that if you have a friend with benefits, they likely aren't going to want to be unique to you anyway, especially if it's a guy we're talking about. Maybe I'm just saying this because I don't understand the problem with multiple partners, it doesn't bother me at all. And if the multiple partner thing is something you can't get your head around, I guess you can't bother thinking about an open relationship. But I think they're great for us.

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So only ugly people don't have sex?

I think you'll find that's a generalisation. From what I've noticed is ugly and average women seem to be more promiscuous. And they hook up wth.. you guessed it.. ugly and average men.

I have no hard...uhm...evidence that this is true...but I empirically, I believe this is true. Two factors I think can contribute: hotter guys/gals can be intimidating, even to each other. So the hook up can be less frequent. Second; for hotter women anyway, they might be more precious about their sexuality as they intrinsically (instinctively?) know or believe that every guy wants her on some level. I don't blame them for being guarded either! How would you know if someone truly wanted to be with you as a person, and not just for your looks?

Anyway, I could be completely off base here.

I am just talking about men.

No, but it's a matter of supply and demand, as Daryl_Blonder said plenty of guys would love to have it, one would always pick the best of anything when there's an over-surplus supply of it. This is not a female nor male thing, it's simply a human thing, one would always pick the best option especially when there are plenty, It's common sense.

FWB is like dating sites when it comes to ratios, there are more guys seeking than girls (+ even many of guys who are not actively seeking for FWB would still take any FWB offer).

Do not assume just because a promiscuous woman is less than average or average would just pick less and average guys. I knew a promiscuous ugly female coworker before (who got fired due to wives/gfs revolution....) who slept with plenty of the most desirable and hottest men , including managers from partner companies, employees (got fired) and even customers (some are even married) . Now I know this isn't FWB but just sluttery, but the supply and demand ratio applied for FWB would be pretty close.

Not all men who would go for FWB would sleep with sluts, but almost all men who would sleep with sluts wouldn't refute a FWB offer, and those, my dear friend, are plenty.

It takes a certain mindset to get into the a FWB-type relationship. I had a similar thing going with a friend of mine in February/March, and it was really about getting needs met. In the long run, it got a bit dreary and predictable and that's when I stopped it. And as for the goodlooking/ugly debate - my friend is decidedly average, not my type at all, but he was available and uninterested in a romantic relationship. If you're at wits end, that will do just fine.

Very true, both people need a very clear and mutual understanding of where they stand and what they want. It can end badly if either person develops feelings or a guilty conscience. All too often, the girl becomes too clingy or the guy becomes too protective and the next thing you know, it's more trouble than it's worth.

what you describe sounds more like a relationship light then FWB+ to me; you are most likely better off sinding someone that isn't high on the romantic side either then trying to get a loyal, exclusive, best friend with benefits imo.

yes, those guys exist; i know of at least one

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Last edited by smudge on 17 Sep 2011, 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.