Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

What are your pro's and con's of living alone?

Page 2 of 3 [ 45 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Would you rather live alone or with someone else?
Alone 55%  55%  [ 26 ]
I would rather live with someone. 28%  28%  [ 13 ]
Just let me see the results. 17%  17%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 47

Comp_Geek_573
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 699

10 Nov 2011, 2:01 am

Hmmm, cats are Aspie? No wonder I like cats!

As for pros and cons of living alone:

+ No need to keep the house especially clean just for other people.
+ Guaranteed retreat from the cruel social world if need be.
+ No social norms to conform to in the house. (this encompasses nudity, repeating songs, bad dancing, etc.)
+ Nobody to worry about waking up, or to keep you awake.
+ You can always watch what you want on TV, or use it for video games at any time.
+ You can think out loud all you want, which can help you think.
+ You can eat what you want, when you want.
- Nobody to eat dinner with and discuss the day, discuss what's on TV with, etc.
- Nobody to call 911 if you choke or have a heart attack (becomes more of a problem the older you get)
- Nobody to play games with (online play in video games relieves this some but it still isn't the same)
- You must search outside the house to find people to go places with.
- If you drink, some guilt about drinking alone.
- The house stays messy until YOU clean.
- Cooking for yourself only is sometimes harder than cooking for two or three.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 98 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 103 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
AQ: 33


Rocky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,074
Location: Uhhh...Not Remulak

10 Nov 2011, 6:10 am

Comp_Geek_573 wrote:
- The house stays messy until YOU clean.


I hate the fact that I have no one to blame for my messy house, except myself! :oops: :lol:

Oh, yeah. Full disclosure: I have two cats, so you could say I don't exactly live alone. They don't pitch in on the cleaning, so I'll blame them! :lol:



SoftlyStepping
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 310

10 Nov 2011, 11:31 am

Comp_Geek_573 wrote:
- The house stays messy until YOU clean.


I actually see this as an advantage.



Rocky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,074
Location: Uhhh...Not Remulak

10 Nov 2011, 12:05 pm

SoftlyStepping wrote:
Comp_Geek_573 wrote:
- The house stays messy until YOU clean.


I actually see this as an advantage.


Is that because you then have to figure out where the other person put everything? I'm thinking of a scene in "Mozart and the Whale" where he has a meltdown when she cleans his place as a surprise. I do hate when anyone throws out any of my things without asking me. At one point, I made a scene at work when someone threw out some of my food from the refrigerator. The most recent occurrence at work resulted in me being disappointed, but no more.



zen_mistress
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,033

10 Nov 2011, 2:03 pm

I think Living Alone is winning so far... the benefits are just too great.


_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf

Taking a break.


hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

10 Nov 2011, 3:50 pm

i get lonely and scared when i am alone, particularly at night.

i had a home invasion once when i was alone with my daughter (her dad was away at work). the phone lines were cut, outdoor lightbulbs uncrewed, and we were essentially out in the bush... with no cell phone service. the next house over was beyond shouting distance. i scared the guy out of my house (well, actually i stayed calm and reasoned with him to get him out), but i was very worried he would come back as i could hear him outside.

we had wireless internet and i eventually got help through an online forum that was a attached to a website i frequented. hundreds of people called the RCMP for me before the number was finally taken down by moderators. i had pepper spray but in the moment it didn't occur to me to use it. we were okay, but i don't think i will ever feel safe at night again without another adult around.

also, when i was a child i was made to go to bed hours before a "normal" bedtime as my mother wanted time to herself. so there would be long stretches of just lying in the dark and feeling quite isolated.

so really... i don't really sleep well... i sometimes cry in my sleep for no reason. apparently i even did this under anaesthetic in the hospital. it is a big comfort to have someone who i care about lying close by me at night. it was very hard for me to move to my own room once my former husband and i "separated", but i know i am not alone in the house so it is ok.

so all in all, the cons could potentially outweight the pros in an objective analysis, but i prefer not to live alone. i think at bare minimum i would want roommates, though sleeping in a bed with the man i love (you know who you are) would be even better!! !!



aussiebloke
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Oct 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,407

10 Nov 2011, 7:40 pm

anna-banana wrote:
Rocky wrote:

Con's:
>If I think of something witty, there is no one around to appreciate it.


yeah I find this *really* annoying & that's partly why I come here ;) :lol:

I guess I could do house sharing if the house was properly big, with separate kitchens and bedrooms and bathrooms.


You've said something witty why haven't I noticed :wink:


_________________
Theirs a subset of America, adult males who are forgoing ambition ,sex , money ,love ,adventure to sit in a darkened rooms mastering video games - Suicide Bob


SoftlyStepping
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 310

10 Nov 2011, 8:00 pm

aussiebloke wrote:
anna-banana wrote:
Rocky wrote:

Con's:
>If I think of something witty, there is no one around to appreciate it.


yeah I find this *really* annoying & that's partly why I come here ;) :lol:

I guess I could do house sharing if the house was properly big, with separate kitchens and bedrooms and bathrooms.


You've said something witty why haven't I noticed :wink:


You were too busy cleaning your ductwork.



lightening020
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jan 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 639

10 Nov 2011, 8:48 pm

it can be just as lonely livinng with roomminates you don't like and you know you dont fit

if i lived in a peaceful cabin in the woods, i think i would enjoy that, and i could always go to bars and stuff.....

its jus when i come home i dont have to worry about roommates i cant stand



Rocky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,074
Location: Uhhh...Not Remulak

11 Nov 2011, 12:23 am

zen_mistress wrote:
I think Living Alone is winning so far... the benefits are just too great.


I would have been surprised if the results were reversed. I think most people here can see the other side of the issue, however. That's why I wanted to encourage each post to list both sides, as they see it.



Rocky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,074
Location: Uhhh...Not Remulak

11 Nov 2011, 12:30 am

hyperlexian wrote:
i get lonely and scared when i am alone, particularly at night.

i had a home invasion once when i was alone with my daughter (her dad was away at work). the phone lines were cut, outdoor lightbulbs uncrewed, and we were essentially out in the bush... with no cell phone service. the next house over was beyond shouting distance. i scared the guy out of my house (well, actually i stayed calm and reasoned with him to get him out), but i was very worried he would come back as i could hear him outside.

we had wireless internet and i eventually got help through an online forum that was a attached to a website i frequented. hundreds of people called the RCMP for me before the number was finally taken down by moderators. i had pepper spray but in the moment it didn't occur to me to use it. we were okay, but i don't think i will ever feel safe at night again without another adult around.

also, when i was a child i was made to go to bed hours before a "normal" bedtime as my mother wanted time to herself. so there would be long stretches of just lying in the dark and feeling quite isolated.

so really... i don't really sleep well... i sometimes cry in my sleep for no reason. apparently i even did this under anaesthetic in the hospital. it is a big comfort to have someone who i care about lying close by me at night. it was very hard for me to move to my own room once my former husband and i "separated", but i know i am not alone in the house so it is ok.

so all in all, the cons could potentially outweight the pros in an objective analysis, but i prefer not to live alone. i think at bare minimum i would want roommates, though sleeping in a bed with the man i love (you know who you are) would be even better!! !!


Congratulations on figuring out a solution to that invasion. Have you thought about getting watchdogs?



Rocky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,074
Location: Uhhh...Not Remulak

11 Nov 2011, 12:37 am

lightening020 wrote:
it can be just as lonely livinng with roomminates you don't like and you know you dont fit

if i lived in a peaceful cabin in the woods, i think i would enjoy that, and i could always go to bars and stuff.....

its jus when i come home i dont have to worry about roommates i cant stand


Ever since I read "Walden" by H.D. Thoreau, I have had a fantasy of living in the wilderness in a cozy cabin. "Walden" was a great celebration of solitude. On the other hand, he did decide to go back to civilization after a time. I wouldn't want to be a hermit for the rest of my life.



Rocky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,074
Location: Uhhh...Not Remulak

11 Nov 2011, 12:42 am

lightening020 wrote:
it can be just as lonely livinng with roomminates you don't like and you know you dont fit

if i lived in a peaceful cabin in the woods, i think i would enjoy that, and i could always go to bars and stuff.....

its jus when i come home i dont have to worry about roommates i cant stand


Needing room mates for a time (to help pay the rent while attending school) was the worst. I hope I never have to do that again. Sharing a place with friends might be OK, I've never tried it.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

11 Nov 2011, 12:51 am

Rocky wrote:
Congratulations on figuring out a solution to that invasion. Have you thought about getting watchdogs?

thanks. we did a radio interview and were in a tiny local paper. watchdogs are a good idea, but i couldn't stand to have someone get hurt. watchdogs would attack wouldn't they?



Rocky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,074
Location: Uhhh...Not Remulak

11 Nov 2011, 1:02 am

hyperlexian wrote:
Rocky wrote:
Congratulations on figuring out a solution to that invasion. Have you thought about getting watchdogs?

thanks. we did a radio interview and were in a tiny local paper. watchdogs are a good idea, but i couldn't stand to have someone get hurt. watchdogs would attack wouldn't they?


I think of them as a deterrent. I don't have them, but someone in my family does. They should be kept in a fenced in yard that is escape proof. Most who would otherwise invade your house would be deterred rather than risk getting bitten. I wouldn't want them, but if they would help you feel safe, they might be worth it. I suppose the only scenario I could see of an invader being attacked, would be if he were psychotic enough to invade your home despite hearing the dogs barking.



hyperlexian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 22,023
Location: with bucephalus

11 Nov 2011, 1:08 am

Rocky wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Rocky wrote:
Congratulations on figuring out a solution to that invasion. Have you thought about getting watchdogs?

thanks. we did a radio interview and were in a tiny local paper. watchdogs are a good idea, but i couldn't stand to have someone get hurt. watchdogs would attack wouldn't they?


I think of them as a deterrent. I don't have them, but someone in my family does. They should be kept in a fenced in yard that is escape proof. Most who would otherwise invade your house would be deterred rather than risk getting bitten. I wouldn't want them, but if they would help you feel safe, they might be worth it. I suppose the only scenario I could see of an invader being attacked, would be if he were psychotic enough to invade your home despite hearing the dogs barking.

you are probably right. i had a big GSD/husky cross and a smaller dog at the time, but they were not trained to care about intruders so they cowered and shook.

i don't think i'll make the leap to living alone - at least, i think i will always have roommates. i didn't like sleeping alone in a house even before it happened. when i had roomies as a young adult, if they were out late i could not sleep.