So... should I try dating another aspie?

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I think it's more individual than the Aspie vs NT issue. Not all Aspies are the same and not all NTs are the same, obviously. The goal is to find a compatible person, and it can be both an Aspie or a NT.

You might try your luck with an Aspie girl if you find one that you're interested in. Take it from there and see how things progress.

My experience is kind of the opposite. My ex was an NT & we had lots of common interest but we were highly unstable together because our personalities, way we acted & lots of other things were incompatible; we had lots of misunderstandings & fights. My current(2nd which will be my last) girlfriend is an Aspie & we don't share nearly as many common interest but I think we are perfect for each other. I think compatibility is a lot more important in the long run to a relationship than sharing similar interest; you can change your interest & indulge your partner in theirs & your partner could indulge in yours. I find my Aspie girl understands me, relates to me, & gets me better than anyone ever has & we do not have the issues with communication that I have with NTs

I've found that when I've dated aspie guys, through the internet, they ended up becoming really attatched and I do as well. Then things start to seem overwhelming and too much pressure. And recently I realized I want a guy close to my age who doesn't live far away. I realized this alittle too late because I'm in a relationship with someone I really care about and don't want to hurt. I just don't feel the same anymore. The distance is just one thing thats too hard to work, I'm just trying to deal with now, I can't fortell the future.

You can't be become gay. You're either gay or you aren't.

Gay is a sexuality, whether you consciously choose to date or have sex with other men may not have anything to do with it.

I'm honestly not sure whether an aspie girlfriend would work well for me. We might share common experiences as aspies who are treated a certain way by sociert, but chances are that our special interests will not overlap and comprehending each other is not necessarily easier than comprehending NTs.

I think there are different benefits to being in any (friendship or intimate) relationship with an NT vs. being in a relationship with an aspie. It really depends as to what is important to you personally.

I have always been seeking out a space where I blend in the most because I hate feeling different, so I find it comforting to be around people who exhibit the same behaviours as me, i.e. autistics. As well, I have almost zero ability to read non-verbal cues, which probably wouldn't work well with an NT for long. However, when you are in a relationship with someone on the spectrum, you still have to be very sensitive as to your autistic counterpart's needs, perhaps more so than with an NT because NTs tend to be more adaptable. If you are seeking lots of emotional feedback and lots of contact, then perhaps being in a relationship with an NT would be a better choice for you.

So it's really much dependent on your personal preferences and abilities. Making a list of pros and cons might be helpful.

I'm a little wary of aspie's, its like the blind leading the blind

If you've dated an aspie, you've dated one aspie. No two aspie girls you will meet will have the exact same issues.

Where are you going to look for these girls? (hypothetically if you were looking). Here on WP I suppose is the best place. Using a dating site or some such will be like looking for a needle in a haystack (trying to find a girl who's aspie AND has similar interests)

I do believe that sharing mutual interests could work if both partners respect that space and time apart but it would require compromise and mutual understanding, I think the ideal solution would be to find someone who shares that special interest but I doubt that would happen.



That's true, I have bisexual friends and I find someone saying that you can wake up one day and be gay to be quite offensive but hopefully he was joking.

I do think you're born with your sexual orientation, but I also think sexual orientation is fluid. I believe people are bisexual to a degree by nature, in a way they don't have a set preference to be absolutely attracted to people of only one gender. Most of the people are mostly heterosexual, but what sets our sexual orientation in stone, though, is the way we're raised (I mean, people aren't born homophobic).

So people who were raised in a heterosexual setting (which most of us are), but are born with a stronger gay or bisexual preference, might take time to discover this and to admit it to themselves and others.

In that sense, someone can "become" gay even if he wasn't.

But I don't think this is the OP's case.

This is true, but people with AS do share traits in common that enabled them to be diagnosed with AS in first place. So you can make some predictions as to what a potential relationship with an Aspie would be like.

We're all still individuals.

what aspie traits you have might clash with hers.

What are your aspie traits?

all aspies are different, I very much need my fee time my space, home and personal bubble the guy I'm dating at the moment has aspergers and he Is soo frustrating doesn't listen to a word I say phones me on my home phone when I tell him I don't like it, drops by without me inviting him, messages me a lot every day everything I say floats over the top of his head!
I'm sure you will find a lovely patient woman to put up with you.
Just try take her needs into consideration and tell explain to her she needs to tell you exactly what she wants or you just wont get it, a lot of girls play mind games and It's irritating.

I do love your Sig!

Hmm, I've never thought of a girlfriend (or potential) as being a 'leader'.

Don't tend to get into relationships to be led.

Your girlfriend is not your guru (though I suppose she could be)

Do you bluntly tell him what not to do and why or do you hint hoping he will get it?