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Breaking A Date

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hyperlexian
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14 Dec 2011, 10:02 pm

RICKY5 wrote:
MathGirl wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
I'm being judgmental because you want to act sh***y and justify it.

By "genuinely nice guy", you mean "sucker you can get free stuff from".

I see a lot wrong with leading this guy on and then rejecting him but still hoping to get something free out of him.

You sound like a user.
This is not using, in my opinion.

If she were to date someone (or be friends with them) just to get car rides, that would be using.

However, wanting to preserve the car rides while not wanting to step up the relationship further is not using. It is trying to preserve the comfort level that she is used to and not losing something she was already getting from him.

If the friendship is not reciprocal, though, and all she gets from it are the car rides, then that's another matter altogether.


It is pretty obvious the free car rides are all that she is in it for. The guy is using the car rides as an "in" so to speak, since no matter what men always pay for sex/affection in one way or another.

except that most men and women don't. only some men (or women) pay for sex.


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ValentineWiggin
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14 Dec 2011, 10:41 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
MathGirl wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
I'm being judgmental because you want to act sh***y and justify it.

By "genuinely nice guy", you mean "sucker you can get free stuff from".

I see a lot wrong with leading this guy on and then rejecting him but still hoping to get something free out of him.

You sound like a user.
This is not using, in my opinion.

If she were to date someone (or be friends with them) just to get car rides, that would be using.

However, wanting to preserve the car rides while not wanting to step up the relationship further is not using. It is trying to preserve the comfort level that she is used to and not losing something she was already getting from him.

If the friendship is not reciprocal, though, and all she gets from it are the car rides, then that's another matter altogether.


It is pretty obvious the free car rides are all that she is in it for. The guy is using the car rides as an "in" so to speak, since no matter what men always pay for sex/affection in one way or another.

except that most men and women don't. only some men (or women) pay for sex.


Ah, but all women are hookers, and all men, johns, hyperlexian. :wink:
Let's not pretend we don't know the (twisted) worldview we're discussing. :lol:


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RICKY5
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15 Dec 2011, 12:12 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
MathGirl wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
I'm being judgmental because you want to act sh***y and justify it.

By "genuinely nice guy", you mean "sucker you can get free stuff from".

I see a lot wrong with leading this guy on and then rejecting him but still hoping to get something free out of him.

You sound like a user.
This is not using, in my opinion.

If she were to date someone (or be friends with them) just to get car rides, that would be using.

However, wanting to preserve the car rides while not wanting to step up the relationship further is not using. It is trying to preserve the comfort level that she is used to and not losing something she was already getting from him.

If the friendship is not reciprocal, though, and all she gets from it are the car rides, then that's another matter altogether.


It is pretty obvious the free car rides are all that she is in it for. The guy is using the car rides as an "in" so to speak, since no matter what men always pay for sex/affection in one way or another.

except that most men and women don't. only some men (or women) pay for sex.


Ah, but all women are hookers, and all men, johns, hyperlexian. :wink:
Let's not pretend we don't know the (twisted) worldview we're discussing. :lol:


There is always something exchanged. Money, social status, acting out daddy issues, acting out mommy issues, validation, etc :twisted:

Getting back to the topic at hand, the dude is using the car rides as an "in" for his romantic intentions, the OP just wants free rides from class.



hyperlexian
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15 Dec 2011, 12:20 am

RICKY5 wrote:
There is always something exchanged. Money, social status, acting out daddy issues, acting out mommy issues, validation, etc :twisted:

nope. but i can understand how it may help you to sleep at night to think that way.


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RICKY5
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15 Dec 2011, 12:26 am

LostInBed wrote:
How do I break a date I made? I really don't want to go on it but I don't want to get on the guys bad side cuz he's my ride home after class Thursday nights. I've thought of using my finances as a dodge but that seems childish. I've been regretting making the date since eh dropped me off last Thursday. As much as I do want to get back in the field(it has been almost five years since I've been in a relationship) I just don't really fell like jumping back in with an NT.. How do I break it off without it seeming, to him, to come out of left field? I only have four days and I don't have any of his contact info.


So did you actually keep the date or stand him up?



RICKY5
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15 Dec 2011, 12:33 am

hyperlexian wrote:
RICKY5 wrote:
There is always something exchanged. Money, social status, acting out daddy issues, acting out mommy issues, validation, etc :twisted:

nope. but i can understand how it may help you to sleep at night to think that way.


Too easy.



shrox
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15 Dec 2011, 2:47 pm

RICKY5 wrote:
shrox wrote:
"As much as I do want to get back in the field(it has been almost five years since I've been in a relationship) I just don't really fell like jumping back in."

That actually works pretty well.


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