What Is Most "Attractive" To You?

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What attracts you first or most to another person?
Material Wealth. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Physical Appearance. 16%  16%  [ 25 ]
Political Affiliation. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Religious Beliefs. 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
Personal Philosophy. 11%  11%  [ 17 ]
Artistic Talent / Creativity. 5%  5%  [ 7 ]
Educational Level. 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Knowledge & Wisdom. 13%  13%  [ 20 ]
Sense of Humor. 14%  14%  [ 21 ]
Sensuality / Sexuality. 3%  3%  [ 4 ]
Power / Authority. 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Friendliness / Niceness. 19%  19%  [ 29 ]
Popularity / Sociability. 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Modesty / Shyness. 3%  3%  [ 5 ]
Inaccessibility / Remoteness. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Other: ________________ (Please Explain). 14%  14%  [ 21 ]
Total votes : 154

Sadeyes19
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10 Dec 2011, 9:44 pm

Personality.
I talk to a range of different people no matter what they look like, what job they are in, doesn't matter how much money. What I'm attracted to is someone's personality which is very important to me.
Looks and money are just a small bonus.



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10 Dec 2011, 9:47 pm

I put educational level. Certainly I put a high value on the cerebral aspect of any relationship, be it friendship or the desire for something more. Also important is a similar drive and work ethic. It would be nice to have someone who has similar philosophical, religious, and political views as I do, but those aren't completely necessary. But I wouldn't be attracted to a conservative, someone who is so religious that he becomes bigoted, or someone who just can't be bothered to think about a philosophy to live by at all. Of all those I am the most flexible on politics (probably because that's where I'm the most radical). The guy I'm currently interested is certainly well to the right of me (not that that is difficult--the only parties in Canada to the left of me are the two Communist parties).

Looks are kind of weird for me. There are certain things that make a person attractive to me. And I've yet to "like" a person who I don't find physically attractive. But my judgement of how physically attractive someone is can be greatly influenced by how platonicly attractive they are. A model who happens to be an idiot doesn't look as good to me as a fairly average guy who I can have an intelligent conversation with.



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10 Dec 2011, 10:19 pm

AnonymousPasserBy wrote:
Looks.

All the other stuff is great but it doesn't create attraction. I know men who are artistic, smart, wealthy, nice etc but I'm not attracted to them. Neither am I attracted to kids or old people who have any of those qualities. Attraction is about looks. Or maybe a nice accent... :wink:



Not for everyone. Many people can become dizzyingly, desperately attracted to someone who wouldn't ordinarily catch their attention, if the personality/charisma/humor/intellect/understanding package is present. Physical allure is important, but it doesn't have to be instantaneous. Any decent looking person can suddenly become the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and a perfect physical specimen without enough emotional/intellectual allure can just as soon become as appealing as a box of freeze dried potato flakes.



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10 Dec 2011, 10:24 pm

This is like asking which part of my dog I want to keep. It only works as a complete animal :P


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10 Dec 2011, 10:26 pm

If you say "first" I'm going to be honest and say power and authority, although I can't say whether they would be long term relationship material.



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10 Dec 2011, 10:28 pm

Sorry, Moog. I was looking for data (not quite scientifically, of course) that would indicate that there is indeed one, single, most important aspect of attraction for all people. Right now, I'm disappointed that there doesn't seem to be one, and that I'll have to re-assess my own beliefs ... again!



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10 Dec 2011, 10:29 pm

Fnord wrote:
Sorry, Moog. I was looking for data (not quite scientifically, of course) that would indicate that there is indeed one, single, most important aspect of attraction for all people. Right now, I'm disappointed that there doesn't seem to be one, and that I'll have to re-assess my own beliefs ... again!


Everyone is a variable, Fnord.


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10 Dec 2011, 11:06 pm

Fnord wrote:
Sorry, Moog. I was looking for data (not quite scientifically, of course) that would indicate that there is indeed one, single, most important aspect of attraction for all people. Right now, I'm disappointed that there doesn't seem to be one, and that I'll have to re-assess my own beliefs ... again!


Keep in mind, Fnord, that you are asking this question to a bunch of people who are mostly on the autistic spectrum, who are likely to intellectually analyze, sort and rank their attractions before answering.

I'd imagine that taking a survey of the population that is more balanced by neurological type would yield different results. And that peoples answers based on self reflection might not be the same as spontaneous attraction IRL.


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10 Dec 2011, 11:10 pm

I think that the fact that there is so much diversity in even this small of a sampling suggests a similar range of diversity in an even larger sampling.

Of course, I could insist that I am right and that everybody else is wrong... ;)



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10 Dec 2011, 11:15 pm

Fnord wrote:
Of course, I could insist that I am right and that everybody else is wrong... ;)


That's usually more fun.


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10 Dec 2011, 11:17 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Of course, I could insist that I am right and that everybody else is wrong... ;)
That's usually more fun.

But that gets old fast.



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10 Dec 2011, 11:27 pm

Fnord wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Of course, I could insist that I am right and that everybody else is wrong... ;)
That's usually more fun.

But that gets old fast.
Don't we all? <sighs> Don't we all.


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10 Dec 2011, 11:29 pm

Not me! I'm a Toys R Us kid. :D


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11 Dec 2011, 1:56 am

I'd say the first is always the obvious physical appearance. I mean, it could be something I'd get over later, I guess, but "Hmm, she's pretty hot" is generally my first thoughts upon seeing a female, primal thinking or not. That said, though, my standards have gotten different as I've gotten older, so it's more complex than just "lol she's got big boobs!" or something as far as physical attraction goes. On the same point, too, if a woman looks good, to me it's a good sign in some ways, as it generally means she has the self discipline to eat correctly or exercise, so her values would not clash with mine. But, at the same time, I'm smart enough to know just that a girl being hot doesn't make me and her able to actually have a relationship, so while it initially attracts me because I have eyes, you know, yeah...

Besides that, religious views is a deal breaker for me. A girl I'd actually date, has to be Christian, and actually act like God exists. That's a strict requirement.

Once that requirement is fulfilled, well then, not so much her knowledge or whatever, but I want a girl who's not afraid to think. Like I don't care how much base knowledge she comes with, like, "out of the box" but just as long as she's willing to learn and try new things. I don't care how smart she is, per se, but I don't want a girl that'll shun knowledge and learning. On the same point, too, I don't want a girl who's a pseudo-intellectual snob.

Girls tend to be stupidly picky with guys, so I'm being picky with girls back. So I don't complain, as I realize I could "get with" lots of girls, but most girls don't fit my requirements, so I don't bother. That, and it seems like "fixing" a girl is a futile proposition, as girls do it to guys and it never really works. Some girls apparently think of guys in the same way I think of project cars.



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11 Dec 2011, 3:23 am

Personality, which can mean that I've noticed the person is nice, or courteous, or seems to share common views with me, or is reading an interesting book...
Every single time I've fallen in love it's been because the person was nice.


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11 Dec 2011, 5:54 am

Kinkiness should be up there :P