Would you date someone you are not physically attracted to?

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I think personality,intelligence and kindness is the are important things. If I would get to know a person very well and I loved their personality I don't think physical appearance would matter at all. I have fantasized about some very unattractive men because I love their personality and mind.
It's horrible that we live in a society that judges people based on their appearance. The mind and personality should be much more important.

Of course. That was how I ended up with my husband.

You can meet the most attractive person in the world but if you aren't compatible in terms of living together, mutual goals and connectivity, it isn't going anywhere fast. I wouldn't marry anyone unless I had lived with them for at least 10 years, regardless of how attractive they are.

I also think many people complain about being alone on here but overlook people because they expect the perfect model, personality or relationship, they very narrow standards or preferences when it comes to finding a partner or a potential experience. I feel because of this, many men on the spectrum end up alone or lacking in relationship experience, women on the other hand can be more selective and aren't expected to take the initiative so they do tend to find partners and settle.

No. If I got along with her I'd love to be friends, but in order to date someone I'd need to be attracted to them.

This is true. However, to say you wouldn't date a person you're not physically attracted to is not the same as saying you want to date a model. Personally, I've been attracted to guys who were of average or even below average appearance, just like I was attracted to those who were seen as more universally attractive. Sometimes, I was attracted to a guy and I had no idea why, because he wasn't what I'd consider "my type".

So when I say I wouldn't date someone I'm not attracted to it doesn't mean the guy has to be a model or "hot" by any standards (not even mine, and especially not media/other people's ideas of a hot guy).

Still, what you're saying about narrow preferences is true, as we can all see here all the time. It's ok to fantasize about a "perfect type" in your head or your alone time, but when confronted with a living, breathing person, your fantasies should not prevent you from meeting a person and feel if you are truly attracted to her. Yes, even if she looks nothing like an ideal chick from your imagination.

No, physical attraction is part of a sexual relationship. It's not entirely about physical attraction, but it does play a major role. Sex (at least for men) just can't happen if he is not "turned on" by the other person, the mechanics of the act don't allow it. I can't speak for women, but I'll guess that sex isn't any fun at all if she isn't "turned on" either.

But of course there are many factors that make somebody physically attracted to somebody else. Visual appearance is just part of the equation, and that rides on a personal definition of what is visually attractive. Personality is also a major factor in physical attraction. I've known plenty of women who are visually hot as hell, but as soon as she opens her mouth, I'm totally turned off. I've also known plenty of women who do not fit the media definition of "hot", but something mysterious about them just gets me goin big time.

No, I cannot. With everyone I date, I have to put them to the "do I see myself sleeping with this person, ever?" test, and if they don't pass it, I don't continue seeing them.

To be fair, that "test" isn't always based just on physical attraction, as someone who's physically attractive but morally or intellectually bankrupt or who has no sense of humor can also fail the test hard.

F, 44 years old

By all means, yes. So maybe the term I used ("physical attraction") wasn't the right one. It goes beyond mere physical appearance. There are many "hot" guys out there I'm not attracted to, and it doesn't even have to be about them being intellectually bankrupt or lack sense of humor. It's just... The "chemistry" (or whatever you want to call it) isn't there.

But yes, the guy has to pass a "does the idea of exchanging bodily fluids of any kind seems disgusting/unappealing" test.

It's hard for me to say. I have been attracted from the thin to overweight. I remember one time, someone saying to me that my BF was nice-looking. I thought hmm. Really? I never even thought about it. I liked him because he was unique to me. I don't like to over think about appearances which can change anytime, whereas personality might not change as much. But that just me I guess.

No... I have tried many a time.


Lots and lots of my firnds are in great happy marriages with men who treat them wonderfully but they didn't find attractive at first but they were wooed and are now in love. So it is possible.

I just haven't been able to do it so far

I'm kind of the same. I'm kind of a borderline asexual & I'm majorly visually impaired. I do notice physical appearance some & there are things I may like or dislike about it but me liking the person has nothing to do with their physical appearance. I do notice how people look but I'm NOT a visual person at all so I don't really care or pay much notice to how they look. I can sort of tune the visual aspect out if there was something about a person's appearance that really turned me off(for lack of a better word/phrase)

No.

If I really liked her personality, of course I would.

good clarification thats why i read all the posts before i leave my response

if im not physically attracted to them, yes because i value personality more than looks

though from my personal experience, take the ugliest girl you can find she will still be way out of my league, i am convinced im just plain undateable

But dating and sexual relationships aren't synonymous.

No. If you fancied them though you would like the way they looked anyway.