Fear of intimacy.

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"I used to think I knew everything, now I feel like I don't know anything - a lot of things people have been trying to tell me for a long time might actually be true... "

This is something I found helps me:
First "you don't know anything" is the best step towards opening your mind and learning something new.
Second, If more than one person tells you the same thing about yourself, it's time to calculate the validity of that statement.

When I look back on my single years, I can see a pattern of clear avoidance, which basically means that no matter how much I thought I wanted a relationship, another part of me was terrified.

In my case, it turned out there were things I really needed to finish working through, by myself and for myself.

Although when I met my husband, it seemed like none of that mattered anymore. so maybe all along it just was that I wasn't meeting the right person to take that journey with.

Or, more most likely, some combination of the above.

When you aren't ready you aren't ready; and if it isn't the right person for all that to suddenly change, it isn't the right person. But it is good to keep working on yourself and working through the issues you come to realize exist, and to practice dating a little in a casual way, even though I know you feel a little confused on how to do that, for all that helps you move forward to the place you'll need to be.

I remember doing some casual dating with much younger guys I was attracted to, but who just weren't in the same life space as me, and that little barrier is what kept things light. And because things were light, oddly enough, we could talk about anything and everything. I wasn't worried about the impression I was making and if these guys would dump me because, well, it had been inevitable from the start. Which ended up being great relationship practice, actually. I guess as a guy you have to do it in the flip, look for an older woman, as younger ones will not rule out things getting more serious. Anyway, just something that helped me learn how to put the casual into casual dating; may or may not work for anyone else.