I don't know if I even want to ever have sex.

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MR20
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17 Feb 2012, 4:37 pm

Sex without marriage is wrong, evil, and sinful. I won't back off this regardless of what anyone thinks

Tequila
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17 Feb 2012, 4:38 pm

MR20 wrote:

Sex without marriage is wrong, evil, and sinful.

You sound like you'd be a fine candidate for all the extremist religions out there.

What if you get married and you suddenly find out that you are tremendously incompatible? Do you take what you want by force? That happens in a lot of marriages where communication is not open.

hyperlexian
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17 Feb 2012, 4:39 pm

MR20 wrote:

Sex without marriage is wrong, evil, and sinful. I won't back off this regardless of what anyone thinks

isn't porn also considered wrong, evil and sinful? i wouldn't go judging other people unless you are pure yourself

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hyperlexian
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17 Feb 2012, 4:41 pm

JNathanK wrote:

It seems to complicate everything, and there's so much avarice involved in it. I've been told my whole life that I need to have sex and that its the highest expression of being and that I'm less than a person for not having it or whatever. I'm starting not to believe this and think that it might be a complete lie. I hear about so many bad relationships and divorces, and I don't see the value in pro-creating with the state that the world is in. I feel you get more value out of connecting with people on a strictly platonic, emotional level. If I die without having sex, I don't mind at this point. I don't think I'm missing out on a lot and that its, more or less, an over-rated experience. I'm sure maybe there's some amazing, intense erotic love that some people have had some of the time, but a lot of the time that's not even the case. I wish people could just love one another without trying to get something out of them, whether it be money, archetypal expectations, social status, etc, etc.

I'm just trying to focus on cultivating love in myself first, and I don't think I need to listen to mainstream society tell me I need to be dependent on someone else to have a sense of self worth. That's just rubbish.

awesome, i think these are some wonderful sentiments. i am glad you have defined what is important to you and you are willing to stick to it

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JNathanK
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17 Feb 2012, 4:41 pm

Tequila wrote:

JNathanK wrote:

Oh, I don't masturbate either. Well, I haven't in 8 weeks or so.

Have you thought perhaps of hanging out on forums and societies with people who feel similarly?

nah, I like forums with diversity of thought. When you hang around cliques with the same worldview, you just reinforce the same perceptions and assumptions the group already holds.

Tequila
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17 Feb 2012, 4:41 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

i wouldn't go judging other people unless you are pure yourself

This is probably the first in a long time that we agree on anything.

JNathanK
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17 Feb 2012, 4:51 pm

MR20 wrote:

Sex without marriage is wrong, evil, and sinful. I won't back off this regardless of what anyone thinks

A lot of reactionists say that, but it actually makes sense if you look at it rationally. There's a lot of divorces, and a lot of people get married and have kids who really don't love each other. It probably is better to wait to find someone you really do love and are compatible with. When both partners age and lose physical attraction to each other, there has to be something there that keeps the relationship going. Its not just because the Bible or the Quran tells you so.

A lot of people say stuff like that to feel self righteous, but if looked at seriously, some of these traditional values can be a way for people to keep from getting hurt by unhealthy relationships.

hyperlexian
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17 Feb 2012, 5:00 pm

JNathanK wrote:

MR20 wrote:

Sex without marriage is wrong, evil, and sinful. I won't back off this regardless of what anyone thinks

waiting to marry when you are older doesn't lead to a more successful marriage by default. people who think they are more in love and more compatible after a period of time don't do any better in the long run than people who marry after dating for a short period. (hence why arranged marriages can work out)

one thing to keep in mind is that people still do find each other attractive when they get old. they don't necessarily "lose" that.

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JNathanK
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17 Feb 2012, 5:17 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

Well, as long as they figure it out. I just thought I'd try to defend a conservative position, but I honestly don't really know hoe much its worth.

JNathanK
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17 Feb 2012, 5:28 pm

tronist wrote:

dont be closed off to the idea. desiring sex is normal, i think. i mean, at some level of 'connecting' with a girl (if thats what you want), there has to be 'chemistry' which is basically the BS term for 'mutual desire to have sex eventually', IMO.

I'll keep that in mind.

JNathanK
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17 Feb 2012, 5:32 pm

auntblabby wrote:

the people who comfort themselves with the illusion that they are "saving" themselves for somebody, need to keep in mind that unpicked fruit only rots on the vine. use it or lose it. i'm old, and have but a fraction of the sex power [unavailed and frustrated] i had as a youth. i wish suzie silicone were around back then, i was born too early.

Well, that's part of where my anxiety is at, that I'll have lived some sort of purposeless life by dying without having had an intimate relationship, that the fruit will rot on the vine as you say. I'm just saying that I don't care so much whether it happens or not anymore. I won't die with a feeling of worthlessness. I want to love and respect myself first and foremost.

ValentineWiggin
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17 Feb 2012, 10:01 pm

JNathanK wrote:

Tequila wrote:

JNathanK wrote:

Oh, I don't masturbate either. Well, I haven't in 8 weeks or so.

Have you thought perhaps of hanging out on forums and societies with people who feel similarly?

nah, I like forums with diversity of thought. When you hang around cliques with the same worldview, you just reinforce the same perceptions and assumptions the group already holds.

The point is, what we're talking about isn't a "worldview", per se.
Surely you know that not desiring to have sex coupled with how rarely you say you masturbate makes you an extreme minority?
Have you considered that you might be asexual?

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ValentineWiggin
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17 Feb 2012, 10:02 pm

MR20 wrote:

Sex without marriage is wrong, evil, and sinful. I won't back off this regardless of what anyone thinks

SEZ WHO?

JNathanK
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17 Feb 2012, 10:51 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

JNathanK wrote:

Tequila wrote:

JNathanK wrote:

Oh, I don't masturbate either. Well, I haven't in 8 weeks or so.

Have you thought perhaps of hanging out on forums and societies with people who feel similarly?

nah, I like forums with diversity of thought. When you hang around cliques with the same worldview, you just reinforce the same perceptions and assumptions the group already holds.

I don't think I'm absolutely non-sexual. I wouldn't mind having closeness with someone of the opposite sex and snuggling. I have a very strong drive for that. I just don't know that I would want to go all the way sexually.

nick007
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17 Feb 2012, 10:56 pm

JNathanK wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

JNathanK wrote:

Tequila wrote:

JNathanK wrote:

Oh, I don't masturbate either. Well, I haven't in 8 weeks or so.

Have you thought perhaps of hanging out on forums and societies with people who feel similarly?

nah, I like forums with diversity of thought. When you hang around cliques with the same worldview, you just reinforce the same perceptions and assumptions the group already holds.

You could still be asexual.Asexuals can still desire closeness but they would simply rather not have sex involved with it

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justalouise
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17 Feb 2012, 11:27 pm

MR20 wrote:

Sex without marriage is wrong, evil, and sinful. I won't back off this regardless of what anyone thinks

I can wrap my head around someone considering it "wrong" or "sinful", but evil? Seriously?

The fact that I'm humping my boyfriend without promising that he's the only one I'm gonna do that with foreeeeever and ever is evil??

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