Dating an NT, what a nightmare!

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ok, so she's obese, and apparently she's also attractive, so that's all that needs to be said about that part. it's nobody's business what she looks like (OP, why-o-why did you even bring it up? it's good enough that you like her. screw what people think of her weight).


OP, she sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and she listens too closely to her father. seems like he doesn't trust her judgement (maybe with good reason), so he has kept her extremely sheltered.

she may want to have sex but maybe he's pounding it into her head that she needs to wait for marriage. so what you are likely experiencing is the mixed signals coming from her sexual curiosity vs. her (family's) beliefs. think of it like a psychological struggle between the superego and the id (link).

she probably hasn't gotten her own ideas and beliefs sorted out yet, so she's like a child under the care of daddy but with a woman's desires. essentially... wotta mess. she wants you but she wants to keep daddy happy. in 5 years if she breaks free of papa's clutches she'll be a firecracker, but for now you are in a struggle that you can't win because he's got 21 years of influence and you've had... a month.

even if she did have sex with you, 5 minutes later when she realized what she did she'd likely regret it. and that is not a good situation for you to be in. my best advice is for you to walk away.

Guys, unsolicited criticism of this woman's body is just uncalled for, especially when he said he LIKES her body.

So this girl i have been dating for over a month now has stated she 'wants to take it slow' but she talks about sex and dildos and vibrators and asking about my size all the time, yet she tells me the 'sex jokes have to stop'.

I met her dad weeks ago, and he thinks I am lying about certain things I have done in my past, like college abroad, and certain jobs I've had. So unfortunately his opinion is influencing his daughters opinion (who is 21 and in college BTW)

So So So, now she is really questioning everything I have told her and she says 'Do you have proof you did these things' and just being really interrogative. I am confused at her intentions, and no matter what I can't shake this feeling that she has someone she is currently interested in. She never questioned anything until her dad started filling her head.

She is a beautiful woman, but she is also very self-concise of her weight and thinks she is fat (she is about 5'6" and 190lbs). I have told her numerous times that she isn't and that I love her just as she is and she is beautiful to me, but she is so immature it is beyond belief. I too am a little on the hefty side, (think Kevin James) and she says I'm not the kind of guy she goes for usually.

I have been very courteous, chivalrous always opening doors, coats, etc you name it. Flowers, Orchids, Lillie's everything and pulling out every stop.

What should I do? What is she thinking? Why is she sending mixed signals.

BTW she also said she wants to wait for sex and kissing until married.

What can I do to tell her that she is nuts (but in a nice way!)?
What should I do to get her to understand that not everyone is a liar?
What should I do to get her to trust me considering her dad filling her head with these messed up ideas? Does he want her to himself?

Is this crazy:?
Am I Crazy?
Is she Crazy?

ok, so she's obese, and apparently she's also attractive, so that's all that needs to be said about that part. it's nobody's business what she looks like (OP, why-o-why did you even bring it up? it's good enough that you like her. screw what people think of her weight).


OP, she sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and she listens too closely to her father. seems like he doesn't trust her judgement (maybe with good reason), so he has kept her extremely sheltered.

she may want to have sex but maybe he's pounding it into her head that she needs to wait for marriage. so what you are likely experiencing is the mixed signals coming from her sexual curiosity vs. her (family's) beliefs. think of it like a psychological struggle between the superego and the id (link).

she probably hasn't gotten her own ideas and beliefs sorted out yet, so she's like a child under the care of daddy but with a woman's desires. essentially... wotta mess. she wants you but she wants to keep daddy happy. in 5 years if she breaks free of papa's clutches she'll be a firecracker, but for now you are in a struggle that you can't win because he's got 21 years of influence and you've had... a month.

even if she did have sex with you, 5 minutes later when she realized what she did she'd likely regret it. and that is not a good situation for you to be in. my best advice is for you to walk away.

Well the reason why i brought up her weight, is because it is a major deal to her and I constantly hear her tell me 'I'm Fat', 'I look fat', 'I feel fat' and i just want to grab her by the arms and shake her everytime she says it to get her to stop. So I brought it up for a reason even though i could care less if she is a bigger girl or not. It doesn't matter to me but thats why i said she is self-aware to the extreme!

Does it bother you that she keeps bringing it up? Because it might become an issue if she doesn't do something about it.

Anyway, if you can deal with her behaviour then don't worry about it. I think some of the ways she has been treating you isn't very nice. It's almost like she doesn't take the relationship seriously at all.

Well the reason why i brought up her weight, is because it is a major deal to her and I constantly hear her tell me 'I'm Fat', 'I look fat', 'I feel fat' and i just want to grab her by the arms and shake her everytime she says it to get her to stop. So I brought it up for a reason even though i could care less if she is a bigger girl or not. It doesn't matter to me but thats why i said she is self-aware to the extreme!