My situation with this new girl...

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I didnt vote because my psycic powers are lame.I agree about not telling her about prostitutes.As long as you are not exposing her to VD...she doesnt need to know.I have also been in relationships with people who I thought were out of my legue and made them miserable with my insecurities and lack of trust in them.Let her know you appriciate her and thinks she is attractive(dont say a 7!! !! !)but try and not make to much of your insecurities.It might put ideas into her head...have her second guessing her choice.Good luck.

Where are people getting the numbers from? How do Alex and Aspie1 know that they both have the same idea of what constitutes a '7'? (What is a 7, anyway?) Is there some sort of chart or scale available on the internet?

(I'm genuinely confused; not trying to make fun of you or deliberately be annoying. Someone please humour me and offer an explanation.)

I think(I am female and dont know for sure)that a 10 would be a female with a perfectly symmetrical face?Large,firm breasts and tush.Long legs,thin waist,long nicely done hair?I dont know if it includes personality at all.I think that goes into another rating scale?So,less then 10 would be deducting points from the 10 based on having to small or saggy breasts or tush,stumpy legs with cellulite,to large or piggy nose,etc.I believe there is sort of an unwritten formula we learn in US and maybe European cultures...Dont know about the rest of the world.Some guys may give more points for breasts or legs while others will rate higher based on face.There is no way everyone rates every person the same but I think there probably is a lot of over lap due to genetics(attraction to youthful qualities and fertility)and the conditioning done in our advertising agencies and general media.

Thanks, Krex.

That's still rather silly, though. Aspie has little ground for rating himself a 4, as one woman might think his nose is hideous while another might think it average, a third might find his eyebrows adorable, etc. I'm not talking about fetishes or anything, just the fact that different people are attracted to different types of faces and differently proportioned bodies. If I say a woman has 'nice breasts', and that I'd rate them 6, the person I'm speaking to might think, 'yay, nice breasts, a 6!' then he might meet said woman and find we have different versions of 'nice' - to him they might be nearer an 8 or a 3.

In which case, Aspie's grading of the woman in question only really tells us that he finds her above average attractive, although not his version of 'perfect' - something which makes me mildly worried, as seeing the need to mention this implies it's of enough importance to be a deciding factor. Which would indicate that if he found an equally nice woman who he'd rate an 8, he'd consider dumping this one because she's only a 7. Which looks rather shallow, and makes me wonder whether the woman (either woman, the 7 or the 8 ) deserves someone like that.

Or maybe it's just me reading too much into the whole thing. Floating boats and all that.

C or D IMO.

I disagree. I don't believe is "trading up". I'm more worried about her dumping me for a better-looking guy. I would never dump her just because I found someone equally nice and better looking. What would I benefit from that, since looks are not selection criteria for me? However, the fact that a good-looking girl actually likes me is still a cause for concern.

I think you might be on to something. While I've dated girls before, none of them were as attractive as this girl. So I can see how dating this girl would confuse me. Looking at Darwin's natural selection theory, she'd be dating a good-looking jerk, not me.

Luckily Darwin isn't always right.

Ah, I see. You're thinking - good looking girl = having lots of men to choose from, therefore might wander off for a better-looking one.

In that case, remember that if she does, you're better off without her. There are a fair few women who believe in choosing men by personality rather than looks, and if you two are compatible, then hopefully she'll turn out to be one of them.

And I agree that if you've not dated someone attractive before, then that might be why something feels strange.

Good luck.

Grading people like that is frankly demeaning. I wouldn't do it to others and I would hope people wouldn't do it to me.

Natural Selection only in natural environments. Cities and dating are not exactly my definition of natural.

people say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but it's generally universal to everyone else

If that means what i think it means, then what a load of crap. In the first place, you sholudn't be selecting someone on the basis of their looks, or rather the general consensus of their appearence. What if people choose their friends that way? There would be large groups of attractive people who probably have nothing in common apart from an aesthetic appeal.
That isn't even taking into account the different opinions and concepts of beauty in various cultures and societies.
You have the statuesque, boyish, waif-like ideal of the fashion world; the "ideal" woman of mens magazines, tall, large breasted, slim hipped; in europe it is common for woman to have excess body hair, whereas in elsewhere it's abhorrent; there are some impoverished African/Middle Eastern countries (can't remember precisely) where they desire an overweight, force fed cow of a woman, as obesity is associated with wealth whereas elsewhere the opposite is desired and obesity is associasted with greed and laziness.
You should be with a person IN SPITE of their loooks, not because of them, that's if a general idea of beauty matters at all.
A pretty face may be desirable but it's not going to do you much good if it's kissing someone else.
And who says beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder? Everyone, even if they don't care about a persons outward appearence is going to have an opinion and preference on what is attractive.
Which is why it's futile to judge someone, or enter a relationship with someone exclusively on their looks, like physical beauty this will not last.
And don't even get me started on this "grading" system, people are NOT hunks of meat judged on how tender or juicy they are.

yeah, i never said you should.


That's what generally happens with some attractive girls. They talk about shopping and boys and makeup, which they all have in common. Personally, I think thats a waste of time but I'm not a very attractive girl.


Yes, that's true. Although, that's a different culture. When I took women's studies at university, the professor told us that once the women in some african cultures started to get television, they began to start looking at themselves and wishing they were different. This is because society is full of subliminal messages that make people think in certain ways. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying its true.




Well, people should do a lot of things different, but they don't. Studies show that BABIES are more affectionate to women who are more "attractive" by societies standards. I think that's totally screwed up, but you can see that more physically attractive people are treated better by society.


Yeah, neither is an ugly face if it's kissing someone else.



Beauty is in the eye of beholder. However, studies have shown that more symmetrical faces are seen as more beautiful by almost everyone. Sure, physical beauty doesn't last. As I said in another thread, I would never date someone based entirely on physical beauty. I'm too picky / not shallow enough.

It's been a while since I've made a post this long, but I hope you now can see what I was saying.

Okay, so maybe i over reacted a teeny bit and misinterpretd slightly, not being an attractive girl either it got steamed up at the idea that beauty is what a consensus says it is, i dislike the idea that it's set in stone. Admittedly i've got to agree with a lot of what you said; it IS a waste of time talking about nothing but boys, shopping and makeup, unfortunately, i know attractive girls.
I guess i was self-righteous and lecturing, ouch, though, on another note, you didn't mention the "grading" thing, and i'm not trying to say that you advocate it, or believe in it, it just doesn't make sense, i mean, what is the point?

Having been an ugly duckling all my life, I think I agree with melcolybunny. However, the sad truth is that people go for attractive people, and that's why the divorce rate in the US is so hilgh. In a phone conversation with Alex, he insisted that he was trying to say that. I have no opinion on that, I told him that wasn't the way I read it. Perhaps that's what he meant, but he could have said it better.

btdt

I knew it was a mistake on my part to use numbers for describing looks. My post was about how a good-looking girl wouldn't normally date an ugly guy. And yet there I was, on a date with a girl who was out of my league. Is that absurd or what? And the numbers were simply benchmarks; they were intended to show how illogical it is for a good-looking girl to date an ugly guy like me.