How do you know if someone likes you?

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That's me, and the data is always inconclusive.

where's the best place to go for advice then?
A

You know it could be worse. Some girls/guys are dillusional and think every girl/guy likes them. It's kinda sad, really.

I knew this gross girl that thought all the jocks liked her, There's no way in hell they would, and it was really obvious they didn't.

I guess i'm pretty onto it when it comes to knowing if people like me, but when I was younger I was just too scared to do anything about it. I don't really notice these days, i'm not interested in relationships.

dillusional people suck. I just wish every girl liked me.
A

How about the source? I usually find out someone likes me when they tell me they like me. I've only once managed to stumble through a conversation where I revealed my attraction to someone else first and had them reciprocate.

If you were an NT, why would you like someone with AS? Especially when the NT is a female.

The NT's probably been in a few relationships, so why would she want to get herself into another relationship that's going to be even slower to get to every stage? It's not like she really knows if he's a good guy or not, just that he's shy. I think most of you are nice, but the NT doesn't know that. I see nothing to gain for the NT.

Your looking for all of these answers but do you think the NT's have found even half of them? If we could stop dwelling over every second of our lives and just relax and live it, then things would work out. Your life's not going to change over someone's opinion on a message board or in real life. Just live your life and don't stress over what your doing. It's not attractive and they probably distant themselves from you because it makes them uncomfortable.[/b]

Why especially if the NT is female? What makes males so understanding? What rubbish.

How 'bout a relationship with someone who is caring kind and honest with me and who is not afaid to tell me how he feels.
I knew my boyfriend has AS before we started dating, it didn't put me off i know he can be distant sometimes and maybe not as demonstrative in his love for me as i am to him, but i know that he loves me and that is enough for me.

It's not a case of what is in a relationship for each of the partners but what both can gain from one another, we both gain a feeling that we would not have alone and having someone who understands you and wants to make your life special because they care is what is important, luckily thats what i've got.

i know some people can be harsh but please don't tar us all with the same brush, we're not all that bad!


Baby

What I really wish I had was a way to sort all the false leads out. For some reason, even though I feel women can sense there's something wrong with me almost too easily I've also noticed there are a lot of girls who will still eye me up though I'll realize that they almost space themselves from me when they realize there's a chance for us to strike up a conversation.

Anymore I just do everything I can not to get my hopes up. Even when a girl does wanna talk to me one on one a lot, for some reason it never ends up clicking and the end up just wearing down and dropping it. I know I should probably be taking steps at that point to ask someone out, but the sad thing is I never feel the desire, usually because I feel like the connection is so unenspiringly superficial (not to be disrespectful, but I always feel like our sense of conversation, what we derive happiness from, and the ways we want to interact are on conflicting tangents). In the end I really think it's a motivational wiring problem as well as emotional form and one where unless it somehow changes from my end, it would be a farse to think there's someone out there I haven't met who I will end up clicking with the way I want to.

It seems like from the way AS effects the types of girls I attract, they end up being to blithe to wanna accept or flow with my personality and it seems like I'd have to scrap some of the most cherished parts of my own identity (the few things that really do have me feeling good about myself or empowered in any way) - even having someone in that case I'd hate who it would turn me into. Castrating that greater spiritual connection in exchange for a relationship would have me far less happy than I am now.
Maybe I'm crazy to think I can somehow have my cake and eat it too, however that's the only way I'd want things.

If they're anything like me its because they're scared or shy, i had to practically be led by the hand by a friend to talk to my other half (before he became my other half that is!) because i was afraid that he would not feel the same way i did.
This is what has stopped me from approaching other people i have liked.


Baby

I think that may be true with a lot of em. Only think that's sad about it is I can't do anything. There's 3 yards of societal red tape between me and them in terms of even striking a conversation. If they won't even put themselves in the same general proximity and at least see if I'll try to chat em up (which I will if I'm seeing enough of the right signs) then there isn't much I can really do for em.

it just hit me. this is all pointless. i dont gotta future in this world. maybe a different time on a different planet but im losing hope for this world.
prototype A-8

"Norm life baby. Im just a sample of soul made to look just like a human being. Fact!"
-Marilyn Manson, I don't like the drugs(but the drugs like me)

I've had similar thoughts myself. Trouble is where the heck am I going? Nowhere. As long as I'm stuck in this place and time, all I can do is try to make the most of it. That's what college is all about for me at least. As for women, I have the distinct suspicion that even though I'm shadow aspie and hardly even show my AS irl, I still really doubt I'll be having any luck with women anytime soon. Oh well, screw it - I've got goals so I guess I just need to focus on those and let whatever is going to happen happen.

Attaboy! I think I was about your sort of age when I figured that out too - I've just been "lugeing" towards that wonderfully inviting hole in the ground ever since. I'm long past hoping for anything worthwhile in this life to happen......

Don't despair, I've been singing from the wrong song book since I was little, and always stood at awe at friends who were swarmed by girls and always had the right things to say. I was always tounge-tied. What really helped me was when my best (only) high school buddy assured me "Don't worry, you'll find someone just right." and I did. A shy, introverted, wonderful woman who accepts me as I am. There is always that shy, introverted chick in the corner who is experiencing the same anxieties you are. Stay away from miss popularity.
I still have trouble reading other people, usually overanalyze, and draw the wrong conclusions and get in hot water. I find it helpful to carefully bounce my thoughts off others who understand, to gain another prespective.

Knowing about this condition, would it be helpful to try to make friends with others exhibiting the same condition? Or would it be akin to starting a local support group? It might be beneficial, better than sitting around doing nothing. Or am I saying the wrong thing - again?
Rick

i understand. i gotta keep my head up. stay away from ms popular is great advice. the only question left is where to go to look for her...
AK